Tag Archives: #low self confidence

Empowerment for Men

#Empowerment for men

Strength and gentleness
Image from epicanthic.blogspot.com

As we look ahead into the next century, our leaders will be those who empower others. — Bill Gates

Empowerment for Men

There is a subtle distinction between commanding respect and loyalty, and demanding it.  The actions and words may be exactly the same; the distinction lies in the heart of the one desiring it.

#Empowerment for men

King Richard the Lionheart
Image from www.themiddleages.net

Throughout history, great leaders have been loved and their legacy lives on down the ages, with fond memories of them and their deeds.  They commanded the respect and loyalty of troops, nations, families and congregations.

Throughout history also, dictators have commanded great armies and nations but are reviled and their memories and legacies are of hate and revulsion.  Idi Amin, Hitler and many more whose names you will know.  These dictators are not limited to presidents, they occur in families also and the hate and revulsion felt for them is the same except that at this level, it is very, very personal.

So what is the distinction?

Empowerment for men is about the place us guys come from when we face the world.

If we feel the need to bully to get what we want, what we are really saying is “I’m not feeling confident or secure so I need to take what I want from people less powerful or able to defend themselves than me”.  This feeling of insecurity is the root cause of most of the bullying and dictatorial behaviour on the planet.

What is the option?

#Empowerment for men

The Butcher of Africa – Idi AMin
Image from www.barnesandnoble.com

True #empowerment for men comes from a place of humility and service orientation, where we ask the world “How can I be of service?  How can I make this a better place?  What can I offer?”  Oddly enough, people rarely take advantage of a man who is strong and humble enough to ask these questions.  Instead, his open-mindedness and leadership is recognised.  People flock to him for his leadership, his strength and guidance.  Whether in a family, a congregation or a nation’s armies or parliament, leadership and strength combined with genuine humility is recognised, loved and admired.

When these two men pass, the dictator is reviled and the leader revered.  Empowerment for men is the distinction.  Guys, remember this – your legacy is already under construction.  People are already making judgements on how you will be remembered.  Think about it; if you don’t like the legacy they believe you will leave, it’s time to start over.

And yes, it can be done.  Empowerment for men is not an event.  Empowerment for men is a way of life, if it is to mean anything at all.

Empowerment for men is not an accident.  It is a state of being that is chosen as a way of life.  Sometimes the choices are unconscious, based purely on the conscience instilled in us by our upbringing – whether good or bad.

Many great leaders had miserable, poverty stricken and abusive childhoods, yet they rose to prominence despite, or was it because of their poor start?  When one is so low that there is nothing left to lose, many have thrown down the gauntlet and aimed for the top – knowing any progress at all is a step off the bottom rung of the ladder.  Look at the likes of Cardinal Jaime Sin of the Philippines, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the recently deceased Nelson Mandela of South Africa.  These men grew up through an era of incredible racial hatred and vilification in nations divided by race – between different warring tribes, by colour, between blacks, whites and other coloureds and cultures, and by wealth and poverty levels.  It is a melting pot from which you could not imagine any winners but these men shone through and created legacies that affected not only their own families and country, but the global communities as well!

#Empowerment for men

The Kennedy Brothers
Image from www.pbs.org

Some great leaders were born into the roles, such as the Kennedy brothers.  Wealth and power were their birthright.  However, it was the birthright of other men also who abused it and became monsters.  The Kennedy brothers created a legacy that has become mythical; they virtually created a royalty class in the republic of the USA.

How can the average guy, like you and me, gain empowerment for men?

It’s not hard, but it requires conscious effort if it is not already in evidence.  It requires us to be aware of these distinctions and consciously choose humility and service, it requires putting our leadership out there on offer, and it requires action to follow through.

Not all of this is going to come naturally, especially the part about it being a ‘state of mind’.  We need to stand guard at the gateways to our minds, to ensure that what we feed our minds is healthy.  We need to remind ourselves constantly, daily, that we are not here to harvest, but to plant the seeds that will become the harvest.  We do this by creating within ourselves the desire to become more, and better at being ourselves.

#Empowerment for men

Catch, Dad!
m.inmagine.com

For a father, be a better, more considerate parent, who takes time to parent his children.  This can be as simple as reading bedtime stories to your babies and toddlers, changing their diapers when they need it, cuddling them and kissing them goodnight.  As they grow, it means teaching them to play ball in the park – not because you want them to be a champion ball player, but because it’s fun for them and it teaches them to run and enjoy life and grow fit and healthy.  It gives them hand/eye coordination and a sense of achievement when they catch the ball.  When they get to school, attend the school plays, the sporting events, the parent and teacher meetings, show an interest so that when they enter their challenging teen years, you are already an important part of their life to them, and you don’t have to fight to get your message heard.  You already have their trust and love and now when they need you, they will trust you enough to come to you for guidance and help – not just cash!

For a husband, be thoughtful and considerate.  Study what it takes to be a better partner, lover, friend and

#Empowerment for men

Date night!
Image from blamebilly.com

confidante.  Earn the trust of your wife, encourage her to feel a sense of achievement in her life and be proud of her, the amazing woman who was incredible enough at some time in your life, to win your heart and accept you with all your faults.  Share the workload with her.  That doesn’t mean offering to wash the dishes and breaking them all and creating more work!  No, contribute what you do best, whatever that is, to take the load from her.  That will definitely mean diapers, taxi driving kids to sports events and sharing the discipline roles.  And be a great lover – one who takes her on date nights, surprises her with flowers and gifts, and sometimes leaves a lovely card around for her to find and show her you really do think lovely thoughts of her all through the day.

As a community member, stand up and be counted when it counts.  Wallflowers get nothing and give nothing, community leaders are in the middle and up the front, looking first to the betterment of conditions for their family, through making their community better.

Elected leaders take an oath of office, but less live it than take it.  However, genuine leaders are already living way beyond any oath that could be taken.  The oath that is sworn is the minimum expectation of the elected official – the true leader is always going the extra mile!

How will you know if you have gained this elusive ‘empowerment for men’?

You will look around you and see the evidence.  Success leaves clues, but so does failures.  Look at the faces and in the hearts of the people around you and you will know if empowerment for men has been your way.  Your people will admire, respect, love and follow you to hell and back.  It is either empowerment for men and everyone around you, or you became a dictator and have a group of “yes men” or servants – you can’t have it both ways.  The evidence will be there.  If you can’t find the evidence, just check to see if you are a wallflower, still waiting to make your contribution to the world.

On a personal level, how can you gain empowerment for men?

Empowerment for men and in fact, anyone, is best done through a structured program that puts you on a course that teaches you the self-discipline and self development necessary to change your life.  No, it’s not hard – just constant, and being human, we can forget.  We can slip up and before you know it, a month has gone by and you realise you haven’t set or checked off a goal, made an affirmation, or acknowledged a lesson from a day passing.  A simple program, a few minutes morning and evening is all it takes to reshape your thinking and feelings to empower you to make new, better and conscious decisions about your life and the people you care about.  That program could be Life Change 90.

I wrote about this recently in a post called EMPOWERMENT and it’s worth a revisit, to review the EMPOWERMENT TONE SCALE.

As you work on your daily self development program, you will see that you are continually moving your emotional and mental state up to empowerment, from where you can change your world and the world and lives of those around you. 

Worth considering.  Empowerment for men, and any guy who wants to become one!  Start your journey to becoming a more Empowered Man here, NOW!

If you feel this blog has provided empowerment for men, women and their families, please reblog it and share it with other men and families around you.  The world needs empowerment for men to lead it out of the morass of apathy, violence and destruction we seem to be plagued with.  Only empowered people will have the strength of leadership necessary to take us forward.  Perhaps you will be the one who puts this in front of such a person and makes the difference.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“The power to change your life lies in the simplest of steps.”
― Steve Maraboli

Please also refer to my related links on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Empowered by Love

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment

Empowerment

“If there was one wish I had for you, one gift I could give you, it would be empowerment.  People without empowerment act from a survival basis and must do whatever they can or need to do, just to survive.  Empowered people act from their sense of what is right and wrong, their conscience guides them.  Empowered people don’t get up in the morning wondering what they can do wrong or to hurt others; they look for ways to make the world better.  I wish for you #empowerment.”

Excerpt from Executive Mastermind Program 2001

#Empowerment

Break free to Empowerment
Image from theindianuprising.blogspot.com

The daily news shows graphic images of people living in fear, striving for survival, hungry for love, affection, even just acknowledgement.  These are people who are not empowered.

Less often we see images of people walking purposefully, striding out, or relaxed with their families, feeling confident, happy, secure.  There are two reasons for that:  Firstly, it’s not graphic news and it doesn’t sell newspapers or TV airspace time, but secondly and sadly, there are fewer people living a life of empowerment.

If empowerment was a choice, why don’t people take it?

There are probably three main reasons.

  1. Power-hungry bullies, including governments, corporations and others in positions of power and authority find it easier to govern or rule people who fear them and don’t know that they can choose a better life.
  2. Ignorance.  They have been conditioned to living in fear or survival mode for so long, it’s not part of their reality and they neither know nor understand it, nor do they believe there is anything in life for them other than what they have.
  3. Challenging life situations, where people have been born into or acquired a challenging situation such as poverty, chronic illness or accident causing a massive life and/or health change or other similar circumstances.

Let’s look at these reasons, and their contradictions.

#Empowerment

Under pressure from big brother!
from gscblog.typepad.com

Power Hungry Bullies oppressing people over whom they have a measure of control.  It is far easier to herd sheep from horseback than say, a pride of lions.  Why is that?  Because the lion is not afraid of a man on horseback!  If you are in the ‘herding people’ business, it pays you to have them frightened of you!  It’s that simple.

The ‘people herders’ are governments, large corporations (think Monsanto, Halliburton, General Dynamics, etc.), employers where there are dictatorial bosses, and even within families, a spouse might dominate their partner.  These bullies think they need to exert massive and overwhelming power to get what they want.  However, in most cases, they are coming from a level of fear and insecurity also, where their fear is that if their “subjects” become empowered, they will rise up and overthrow them!

The contradiction is that empowered people don’t really need to overthrow anyone else.  They feel confident and secure within themselves and are already in control of their lives.

#Empowerment

MONOPOLY ON FOOD SEEDS
Image from worldtruth.tv

Ignorance and conditioning.  These are the people held down by their conditioning and the bullies they ‘live under’.  Conditioning is one thing – education and positive experiences can, in time, overcome conditioning and in the right circumstances, enable empowerment.  Getting out from under a genuine bully is another – their fear of losing control can be extreme and their actions to retain control can be extreme also.

Awareness is the first step for those living under oppression.  Only once the awareness is there, the long trek out can begin.

Challenging life situations.  Let’s break these down into poverty and poor birthright, and accident and illness causing an acquired chronic situation.

Poverty in a developed country may be an income of $200 per week.  It may be as high as $500 per week, depending on the location and circumstances.  However, in some developing countries, $200 per year is a fortune, it is fabulous wealth!  Poverty is relative to the location and circumstances, but just as real in any circumstances.  Where there is education, there is a way forward.  Where there is no education, intervention is often necessary.

#Empowerment

Poverty from birthright, caste and cultural status
Image from secularpakistan.wordpress.com

Poor birthright can mean a person born into a caste, race or class situation where they are deemed to have no rights.  Many developing nations have this problem.  The crazy thing is that when a person of poor caste migrates or is relocated to another country, often this condition vanishes because that caste or class distinction is not recognised outside their own culture.  Education can be the starting point for this transition.

Chronic illness and acquired injuries forcing changed life circumstances.  An insect bite can change your life.  A momentary lapse of concentration while driving can do it too.  A sporting injury can take a person from Olympic glory to total dependency on a full-time nurse.  Life can change without warning.  There is no easy way back from this and lives can change forever.

However, empowerment does not rely on wealth, power or influence.  Empowerment is firstly, a state of mind, preceding the physical changes that can occur because of it.

#Empowerment

Nelson Mandela
www.thetruthseeker.co.uk

Look at Nelson Mandela’s example:  Imprisoned by a brutal regime for 27 years, he emerged as a man ready to be president of a nation emerging from possibly the darkest period in its history.  When he passed away recently, he was revered as a leader, an example of a man who empowered and united a nation by his example.  How could that happen?

The Empowerment Tone Scale

#Empowerment

Empowerment Emotional Tone Scale

In the EMPOWERMENT TONE SCALE image, the TONE SCALE is shown on the left of the image, with the emotions listed in ascending order beside the scores.  Empowerment is shown as an emotional state, a state of mind on the image, at the top end of the scale.

The broad blue vertical arrow shows the emotional range in which most people live.  You can verify this by walking on any street and noting how many people are smiling from the inside, happy and carefree, and how many are walking with heavy hearts and steps.

The challenge of empowerment becomes one of understanding how to raise the emotional state of a person from their state of concern to where they take an interest in the world around them, and are no longer concerned with fear or survival.  There is a simple, standard starting point.

Ask the question of yourself:  HOW CAN I….?

What this simple question does is propel your mind from wherever on the tone scale it is, up into the region of creativity, as your mind automatically tries to answer the question.  Eventually, your mind starts to live up in that area of the tone scale, as you repeatedly bounce it from down where you asked the question, to where you want it to be.

However, note that between wherever you are on the tone scale, and where you want to be, you need to traverse, and experience all the other emotions on your journey to empowerment.  If you have been living in a state of ‘covert hostility’ for example, you will need to pass through and manage anger and pain and the other emotions on your way up.

At first, it will frustrate you and anger you, but perhaps that is just part of the journey.  Along the way you will experience many emotions and soon understand that you travel up and down this emotional tone scale many times daily.  However, you will soon find that by understanding it, being conscious of it and working with it, you will learn to live in the conscious, empowered part of it.

How can you train yourself and your mind for Empowerment?

#Empowerment

A little intervention to get started!
Image from weheartit.com

Empowerment must be from within you, but intervention and education is usually needed to spark the fires of creativity and imagination alight.  Once the inspiration for and understanding of the principles of empowerment are held, it’s up to each person then to continue the empowerment journey.  A supportive environment is preferable and will speed the process.  If that is not where you live, then you need to create that through the empowerment process you use.

The most effective way is to take on a program that sets out an empowerment routine for you each day.  A routine that sees you establish small, achievable goals daily, for you to congratulate yourself on their achievement each evening.  A program that gives you an affirmation each morning to carry you through.  A program that teaches you awareness and an understanding of what really goes on in your life, your heart, mind and soul as you make your way through your day.

This all happens, regardless of whether you are aware of it.  Being aware just means you can control it and create in your life those dreams and goals and experiences you want.

It’s worth empowering yourself to do it.

In coming blogs, I will be discussing more on empowerment, on topics such as:

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for children and teens

We will refer back to this post also, because this is the foundation of empowerment, the fundamentals on which true empowerment is based and built.  Until and unless the process of empowerment described above occurs, nothing else can change!

Begin your journey to Empowerment in your own Personal Empowerment Program; Click HERE, NOW!

If you feel this blog has empowered you, please feel free to share and reblog this information to your friends, family and other people in your network.  Every person on the planet desires empowerment and every one of us deserves the opportunity for it.  Please help.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Please also refer to my related posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Empowered by Love

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Self Confidence

Self confidence – a function of knowing what you are doing, knowing that you are good at doing it, and knowing the task will be successful.  It’s in your own knowing that you will succeed.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
#Self Confidence

Of course I can fly!
upwithlifecoaching.com

Recently I wrote about Self Esteem; it has much in common with Self Confidence, but there are significant differences.

Self Esteem is feeling good about you.

Self Confidence is feeling good about your ability to perform in a given situation and knowing you can handle it.

I once gave a talk to a large group and a question around Self Confidence came up.  When asked how it was I could talk so easily in front of so many people, my reply caused a ripple of laughter.  I said “If you were the nursing mothers association, and I was giving a talk on breast feeding, I wouldn’t feel quite so confident!”

When you look at it, I’d have been talking on a subject I knew next to nothing about, to a group of people who were the acknowledged experts.  Both of these are key areas of potential failure – failing because I knew so little, and then being called out by people who knew so much.

Did I have a self confidence problem because I knew I’d fail if I was talking to a Nursing Mothers group?  No, not at all, because I knew I was already good at what I did when in my chosen environment.  I had a confidence benchmark, because I already knew I could speak confidently on my own topics.  It’s not my place to lecture people in their areas of specialty.

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” ― Coco Chanel, Believing in Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women

From there, we can look at how to gain self confidence.  How do you develop self confidence?

Firstly, look for what you are good at.  Doesn’t need to be a major skill set, start small, regardless of whether you are actually a master at something.  Can you tie your shoelaces?  OK.  Can you tie them in a perfectly even bow?  Great.

#Self Confidence

I can tie my shoelaces!
Image from marriagehelp.com

Look at what you have just said about yourself.  You have manual dexterity and an eye for detail.  Where else can you apply those skill sets?

This is the beauty of understanding yourself and getting a little tutoring in self development – your lessons teach you that being good in one area automatically means you are good at other things too – you don’t need to go try everything out to learn that!  You can be CONFIDENT about it, without ever doing it!

The key to self confidence: because you can do one thing well, it means you can also do other things well!  Your skills and abilities are transferable between tasks and challenges.

I hear the Nay-Sayers:  “But there are things I am hopeless at!  Can’t I feel bad about not being good at something?”

That’s your choice, but I’m not going there.  You see, there are things I’m hopeless at too.  Keep me away from a filing cabinet – you don’t want me filing for you!  Not my skillset.  I could lose every important document you ever had in quick time.  But I wouldn’t feel bad about it; because I know it’s not my thing.  I have a filing system arranged for me here, and instructions on what to do with it.  The main file I use is called, wait for it:  DATA ENTRY REQUIRED!  And not by me!  My self confidence doesn’t get dented just because I know I can’t file papers.  Other people can, so they do it.  I don’t.  It’s that simple!  I am no rocket scientist and that doesn’t concern me either.  Nor am I a botanist, although I love looking at flowers.  I just look; it’s close enough and safer for the plants.

#Self Confidence

Filing? What, me?
www.1staccessservices.co.uk

See the emerging picture?  Leave the things alone that you don’t have to do, or are not good at.  Find someone who can handle what you can’t.  But pour your heart and soul into what you can do well and feel great about it.  Another secret to self confidence, let the good feelings about what you do well, the self confidence feelings, overflow into the rest of your life!

Here is a classic example of a downward spiral in self confidence.

Billy is at work and messes up a contract.

#Self Confidence

YOU BLEW IT!
www.ehow.com

The boss bawls him out over it and the whole of the office hears it.  The people he supervises now wonder about him and he feels their eyes boring into him.  The end of the day comes and he escapes to the sanctuary of home, where he reluctantly tells his wife about his humiliation.  She is all comforting and makes him a nice dinner, then they put the kids to bed and she says “Come to bed and make love with me….!”

Up to that point, he was starting to recover, but now, he has to perform again and his mind suddenly goes back to the session with the boss, and he has already been humiliated once today, over his work performance!  He pours himself another drink and decides to watch TV instead.  One humiliation a day is enough for our Billy!  Bad move, Billy!

Self confidence can spiral both ways.

#Self Confidence

I GOT THE CONTRACT!
2findtrueluv.blogspot.com

Billy could have thought about all the things he was good at, and perhaps considered that his boss was also having a bad day and that was why the loud voices, rather than the regular quiet discussion over the contract.  He could have decided that one mistake doesn’t a failure make, told his wife about it and celebrated with her that he was thinking of a way to regain that contract next day.  After an evening of loving and nurturing with his wife, and a great sleep afterwards, he could go into work next day with enthusiasm and inspiration to pick up the phone and win that contract back…

The lesson from this is that our attitude and the self development environment we create around ourselves plays a huge part in our self confidence.  If we choose to be in an environment where goals are set each day, where our achievements are celebrated every day, where positive self talk is the norm, and where we review and reflect on our day every evening with a view to setting up tomorrow for success also, then an occasional flop is only going to create a great campfire story, rather than a downward spiral into depression.  Creating this type of environment is actually a choice you can make at any time.  If you choose not to surround yourself with positivity and celebrations of your successes, what ARE you choosing as your environment?

If your self confidence is important to you, then creating an environment that fosters self confidence is critical for you.

How do you create such an environment, which builds and multiplies your self confidence?

Start your Self Confidence Boost Program HERE NOW!

Check out this page on Success Habits and perhaps the recent blogs on Self Esteem and Self Development Tips.  They will show you the way to a whole new world to live in, one where you get to be King or Queen – which ever you choose!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

Self Esteem

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” ― Maxwell Maltz
#Self Esteem

Yep, that’s me!
Courtesy of www.blisstree.com

My last blog on Self Development Tips was from the Life Change 90 Blogsite.  I promised to follow on with how to create great Self Esteem and here it is, the two ways to develop Self Esteem.

Self Esteem

There are really only two ways to develop a feeling of high self esteem, unless you were born into a naturally nurturing environment, where you were brought up to feel good about yourself from early childhood.  If that is you, then congratulations – spread the goodwill, if not, these are the other two ways.

The first way to build high self esteem.

As a teenage guy, I had all the insecurities that most other teenage guys had, and I had a few more that many didn’t have!  I lived miles from town, had little social interaction outside of school, was taller than all my classmates and a lot bigger, although I was fit and strong without being overweight.  I always came top of my class right through school and was a champion athlete; I was ridiculed heaps for these – mostly by those who envied those attributes.  However, the ridicule struck, and stuck, went to the bone.

At the ripe old age of 18 years, I asked one of my mates, one of the ones who had a queue of girlfriends, why he had luck with the girls and I had none.  Wasn’t I good looking enough?

His answer, coming from the heart of the true friend he was to me, stayed with me for the next 15 years.  He said:  “You are a ruggedly handsome looking sort of guy.  Don’t worry, it will happen…..!”

In that instant, I associated ruggedly handsome with being unlucky in love, a poor communicator with women, and everything else negative that I was experiencing.  I suddenly realised how much I didn’t like being ‘ruggedly handsome’…

Life went on.  I left the family farm I grew up on and bought my own, married, had a son, divorced, lost a business, started another, became very successful at making people wealthy after rescuing them and their businesses from the stock market disaster in 1987.  Life was great, I was powering, had money, everything, but despite all this I still didn’t like me.

In 1989, I began some self development work on me.  I had to – I was a machine at work, ruthlessly despatching banks to the scrap-heap in getting better deals for my clients, hard-nosed negotiations, precision calculations, strategies, but utterly devoid of fun or interest in life and living.  I was great at what I did, but at living, I sucked badly.

In this self development program, something triggered a switch in me.  I took stock of what I had achieved, what I was doing and what I was capable of.  I looked at the amazing people around me, people who considered us to be friends, people who respected me, and it started to do things to me, in my head, stuff I had never felt before.  I was successful, I had so much credibility with the people I worked with, I mixed with globally significant figures in business and was developing a significant business profile in my own right.

I had an epiphany.  I got out of bed one morning after a period of these unsettling thoughts and emotions (what were they?) and when I looked in the mirror, it was like I looked at a different person.  I suddenly said “You’re OK!  I’m OK!”

I suddenly realised that what my dear friend said all those years ago was absolutely wrong for me.  It was just his well-meaning words at the time, trying to ease the concerns of his good mate, who wasn’t getting lucky with the girls.  That wasn’t me.  If it was back then, it certainly wasn’t now.  In that instant, I got to like me, like what I was, what I did, what I stood for and I started to feel again, starting with feeling good about me!

The epiphany came about because I had been forced, by this self development work, to start looking at and taking stock of my life and coming to realise that I was actually an OK guy, doing some great stuff!

This was the hard way to develop self esteem.  It might just as easily have gone the other way – if I didn’t like what I found in my stocktake, it might have gone very differently.

#Self Esteem

This was me – without the dress!
courtesy of pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com

But there is an easier way.

The second way to guarantee high self esteem.

In the 1960’s, a guy called Maxwell Maltz is reported to have said at the launch of one of his books, ‘confidence and self esteem is built from repeated experiences of success’.

Therefore, if you consciously place yourself in situations where you will, or are likely to have repeated experiences of success, then your self esteem and confidence will grow.  It must grow!  The trick is knowing where that place is!

The reality is that it’s not hard.  The concept of goalsetting within a self development program is what is required.  Creating an environment that nurtures and supports you, with affirmations in the environment, daily counting of successes, setting them up as little goals in the morning and checking them off each evening, checking your moods each day, learning to be aware of them and finally to anticipate and set them consciously, all of these elements build to a powerful self esteem, based on actual successes and personal growth within you.

#Self Esteem

This was REALLY me!
Courtesy of www.lifedaily.com

You can build self esteem accidentally like I did, and hope that after some time (I took 15 years!) you will realise you are OK too, and you always were.  Or you can step into a framework that does it all for you.  It’s possible.  Check out this blog on why you should systemize personal development, or even here, about why bother with personal development.

Twenty years on, much has evolved to enable you to consciously choose the outcomes that I stumbled upon, and fortunately landed in a good place.  Some folks from those times didn’t make it and unfortunately ended up well away from where they wanted to be.  As teens, we admired and envied some of our mates but now, I see that much of what we envied got those guys into serious trouble fitting into and creating a life of success.

There are better ways.  And they all require good self esteem!

If you enjoyed this blog and value the message, please share it and reblog it.  Who knows what a difference it could make in someone else’s life!  To start your new life, with a healthy dose of Self Esteem, start HERE!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

“You can always find the sun within yourself if you will only search.” ― Maxwell Maltz
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