Life Change 90

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Success Habits

Og Mandino – Lessons from the Master

Og Mandino Courtesy of Wikipedia

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”
― Og Mandino

When Og Mandino touched my life

There are moments in our lives that are indelibly etched, that live with us forever. One such moment in my life is when Og Mandino first walked out on stage in front of me, sat down and began to speak.

It was a day in early 1987, at the old Boondall Entertainment Centre on the north side of Brisbane. There were half a dozen famous speakers on the schedule; I’d only heard of a couple. A friend and business associate at the time invited me along. He had a mobile mechanic business and credited much of his success to staying motivated by events such as this. That still holds true, we do need a regular injection of inspiration. I was then new to the corporate world and this was my first taste of it.

A couple of high energy, foot stomping, stand on the chair and chant speakers came on, one of whom has since mellowed and gained great popularity. When he spoke, there was a great energy in the hall, 17,000 people were up and chanting too, clapping and cheering.

Then Og Mandino took the stage.

The man had a presence I have rarely experienced. He spoke softly, invited us to sit, then he sat and began to speak. In contrast to the energy of the previous speaker, he hardly moved on his chair. The audience didn’t move, not even sure they breathed for the next hour as this man poured wisdom forth as though there was nothing else happening anywhere in the world. I don’t recall a single person coughing, not a chair creaking, not a sound for that hour, except the voice of Og Mandino reaching into my heart and changing my life around for me. If ever there was an audience with an angel, this was it.

I have no further recollection of any of the speakers of that day, although I still have the promo material and notes I made. Og Mandino had done his work. That was, I think, his last visit to Australia. He passed away in September of 1996, the world was saddened by his passing and his loss to humanity was incredible. However, the man left a legacy that I had begun to devour long before then. He was also an inspired author.

The Og Mandino Legacy

Og Mandino wrote many books, the most famous of all was “The Greatest Salesman in the World”. I read it many times, and followed up a number of times with the ‘workbook’ “The Greatest Secret”. It was while working through the exercises in this book that I gained the personal empowerment and inspiration that has me writing to you now.

Not only did #Og Mandino teach through the wisdom of his writing, he used strategies that if implemented, work brilliantly. Old but powerful concepts that the greatest teachers and philosophers down the ages have used to change the world. He made the suggestion that we record our successes daily, so that we could see at a glance, just how successful we were. He described a simple graph paper chart he used and I followed up on it.

First, I took a sheet of paper, ruled it up as I thought he meant, and went to work with it. Then I got my first computer, and created a spreadsheet in Excel. Each morning I would set my intention and goals for the day, and each night I would tick off my successes. My life turned on this program.

At the time, I was recovering both in health and from a business failure, and my goals for recovery from each went on this sheet. Month after month, I would check back and chart my progress. Some months I would see poor results, so I got out my diary and checked what I did that did not work – and saw how to change it for the better. Other months were a series of daily celebrations. On review, I could see what worked, so I incorporated more of those events and activities into my life. Simple although crude, but incredibly effective, daily doses of empowerment. Daily readings of Og Mandino books were a staple at this time in my life, consolidating my successes and carrying me through the dark times.

Og Mandino Fundamentals Courtesy of pixpirations.com

After only a couple of years of rebuilding my health and my life, I restarted in a new career direction. I had undertaken the Entrepreneurs Program at University of Queensland, the Business Programs at Kedron Business College and numerous other courses, programs and seminars, when the share market crashed.

The 1987/1988 share market crash was a global catastrophe. Lives and businesses were ruined overnight. But I was ready. I found that people were coming to me in my new vocation of business adviser to get them back out of trouble, out of impending bankruptcy, business closures and persecution by the banks. I had made my own turn-around, and now armed with the tools of my recent experiences, I took on this challenge. The incredible part was that the empowerment strategies I had used on myself, combined with the business education I had obtained, were both the emotional and business support and advice that these ailing and failing business owners needed. We never lost one who came on board with us! We saved millions of dollars for companies that were within days and sometimes hours of closure, hundreds of jobs that would have vanished, ruining lives and families as they went. But we saved them all.

I thank Og Mandino for it. His teachings and wisdom enabled me to be in the right place at the right time, to make this contribution and Mr Og Mandino, I am eternally grateful to you Sir. Thank you.

The programs I created back then were followed by far more advanced programs in later years, seminars, workshops and advanced trainings in many fields, delving into the neuro-sciences and alternative thinking therapies and strategies way before they were popular or fashionable. Life has changed and evolved much for me since then, and the products and services I now deliver are far more advanced than anything I could have dreamed of back in the 1980’s. However, just like you can trace your DNA back hundreds or thousands of years, so you can trace the DNA of my programs and training back to the simple, fundamental philosophies and teachings of Og Mandino, and some of the other great mentors of my early years in business and training.

Whilst some people have said that “unless it’s created with the technology of the current day, it doesn’t work anymore”, I think about the other fundamental laws of nature and physics and the generalised principles that still make the world go round. Gravity is one such law. It’s still working incredibly well. Cause and effect. Very powerful also. Sayings like “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar” and so on, still relevant and absolutely true. The fundamentals will always work. Because they are the fundamentals of life and of very our existence on this planet. They are there for everyone to use, if only they knew about them and would access them to their benefit.

Please look at this link about OG MANDINO. His life story makes for powerful reading. Before becoming a best-selling author, Og Mandino was a bombardier and pilot in the US Air Force during World War 2. He flew with fellow pilot and later movie star, James Stewart. During his early life after the war, he, like so many other returned soldiers, contemplated ending it all, but found inspiration in a book, and his life changed also. His remarkable life story is well worth reading…

Og Mandino Air Crew Courtesy of www.natickvets.org

If you would like to experience the benefits of the teachings of Og Mandino as they influenced my life, you can. I have packaged much of what I learned from Og Mandino into Life Change 90, the life change program that over a period of just 90 days, can transform the life of the person who truly commits to it. No matter what you do, you are here, on this planet, and you are likely to be here for the next ninety days. Make them count. Get Life Change 90!

If you know someone else whose life could benefit from exposure to the principles espoused and taught by Og Mandino, please send this blog article to them. I’m sure they will thank you.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

Life Change 90 Relaunch

The Life Change 90 Relaunch!

Tonight we are launching an effort which holds the promise of changing the course of human history. – Ronald Reagan

Who would have thought that since last publishing Moving House some time ago, it would have taken this long to resume blogging on Life change 90? When we relocated to our new home, a modern, single level home in a reasonably new estate, that we would have had internet problems!

However, as you can see in the Spaghetti photo, the builder was a budding electrician, but without staying power. He stopped before the job was finished and the wiring was an absolute nightmare! The technician who eventually sorted out the tangle was flabbergasted. Eventually, he solved in as in the fable of the Gordian Knot. He found the active wire, and bypassed everything else to start all over!

The time offline wasn’t totally wasted though. As you will see from browsing the Life Change 90 website, we decided on a Life Change 90 relaunch, with a whole host of new goodies for you. More you ask? Let’s take a look at what the Life Change 90 Relaunch means for you.

First change with the Life Change 90 Relaunch

First, the Life Change 90 program has been reworked, and is now at Version 2.1. We considered the feedback we had, corrected some typo errors (my typing mistakes there), simplified the instructions more, added a whole new goalsetting module up front and changed the 1-31 sheets at the end, to make it simpler to use, and we have found it also flows much more easily between days and sections. You will love it! Check it out!

Then, as life change is often as much external as it is internal, we decided to work with and assist those who are thinking of a life change into business for themselves. Perhaps second only to the dream of owning your own home, comes the desire to be the boss in your own business. The Life Change 90 Relaunch has really come to the party for you.

New features with the Life Change 90 Relaunch

First new item in the Life Change 90 Relaunch is the free download Quiz, “Should you be the boss in your own business?” This is a quiz to look for your inner entrepreneur. Whilst it’s nice to think we could be Sir Richard Branson or Warren Buffet if only we had the chance, perhaps there is a different model we need to look at. Not everyone can be the “front” person in a business, although many can. Many people work best with a partner, or with a board to advise them. Only a few can be the solo entrepreneur, and this Quiz can help you find out what your best model of business management would be. Check it out HERE, and in the Side Bar on the right of your screen.

The #Life Change 90 Relaunch also gives you the next step in the “be your own boss” business process: how to create, plan and launch your own business. We created a new download for you there too. It’s called the BUSINESS PROFITS PROGRAM. Check it out HERE!

The Business Profits Program

This program is designed to enable you to look at your situation, decide where your strengths are, what you have to offer the business world and then to design a business around it. Then it helps you totally plan your business, right up to and beyond launch day, and even assists with identifying business partners, if that is what you need too.

This program is the essential tool to make sure your new business venture – if you desire to and choose to create one, doesn’t become one of the sorry statistics we hear bandied around about how many businesses fail. Businesses that don’t prepare correctly fail, and if you use this program, yours is most unlikely to be one of them!

The Life Change 90 Relaunch is the start of great things to come. New blog topics prepared, new products, and whole new focus to add to the already powerful Life Change 90 Program that has already been providing #empowerment to so many people.

Come on, join the crowd and come check out the Life Change 90 Relaunch. See you there.

If you felt this article could have helped you relaunch your life with your own business or a fresh start elsewhere, please share it with others. Pass it on, because just like you, and me, there are so many people praying for a new start in their lives too. We need to help them where and when we can.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

If you believe you can, you probably can. If you believe you won’t, you most assuredly won’t. Belief is the ignition switch that gets you off the launching pad. – Denis Watley

Financial Empowerment

The financial jigsaw puzzle
Image from intentionalwealthinstitute.org

Update: Feedback is that this post on #Financial Empowerment is almost brutal. Sorry, but it has to be – people in financial crisis are often also in denial. I know – I was one of them! This blog is from my hard-earned and learned lessons in financial empowerment! I needed some ‘hard talking to’ in my time of crisis, and I don’t want you to go through what I experienced, because of my denial!

However, the post is not all bad news! If you recognise your symptoms below, you’ll be amazed at the reasons for why we do and feel what we do, and delighted with the range of options and solutions. The links take you to even more detail on the solutions available to everyone who needs financial empowerment.

Financial Empowerment

There is an elephant in the room. A great big ugly elephant. We talk about empowerment and self development and personal growth but when someone mentions ‘money’ or being wealthy, too often, thoughts or whispers of greed, selfishness, get rich quick, or some other such demeaning slur appear.

There is even that famous Bible quote:

“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.” (King James Bible).

However, any quote taken out of context can take on a whole new meaning, such as this one does!

So many people have hidden behind this and other poverty based quotes to make excuses for their lack of abundance, without even realising it. They believe these quotes and old sayings (“life wasn’t meant to be easy” is another!) are actually facts. THEY ARE NOT!

“Take responsibility for your finances or get used to taking orders for the rest of your life. You’re either a master of money or a slave to it. Your choice.” – Robert Kiyosaki

It’s time to say IT IS OK to have money and wealth. It’s NOT OK to be poor and just accept it!

It’s NOT OK to have to worry where the next dollar or the next rent or mortgage payment is coming from. It’s NOT OK to have your child’s next meal in doubt because you don’t have the money to put a meal in front of them.

Down on his luck, by Frederick McCubbin
Image from www.artroom.com.au

Why would you NOT have all the money and financial empowerment you need, or want?

There could be some absolutely valid reasons. Bad luck. Bad management of a situation. Bad start in life. Got robbed. Got divorced. Got taxed. All valid and perfectly good reasons to not have any money. If you are OK with reasons for not having money that is, rather than the money.

If this is you now, are you planning on staying this way?

If you are unhappy about your financial situation, read on – there is much to learn and much to look forward to!

Is it OK to be broke?

Most teenagers and students visit “Broke” during their high school or university years, just after leaving home. Possibly the best time to visit, when you are young and life has so much promise and you are so enthusiastic about it. You also don’t have family responsibilities then. Enjoy the experience of living on the financial edge, learn the financial empowerment lessons and then get the hell out of there! Life is better with a full wallet!

How does a lack of financial empowerment affect men and women differently?

In ancient times, men were the hunters, women were the nurturers. This imprinted in the DNA of the human race and reflects in their emotional states today, thousands of generations later. A man who could not hunt and provide for his family was shamed. Today, men feel humiliated to be without work and income. A woman in ancient times who could not nurture her family was considered of low worth and status. She had to take scraps or be married off to a low status male. Today, very little has changed! Jean M Auel’s excellent and very well researched books, starting with “Clan of the Cave Bear” demonstrate this perfectly!

Let’s look at what it means to be lacking in financial empowerment, for both men and women.

Financial Empowerment for women

A woman without money in the 21^st century in the western world is a woman who has to educate herself and develop a career to support herself, or to be supported by someone else. She must develop an income stream to pay for the necessities of life. If she cannot do this, she has to choose between doing without the necessities of life, or being at the mercy of someone who has them.

Perhaps she will find a husband, someone who will be delighted to take her just as she is, and who promises to support her forever. Lots of women have thought this; many have made wonderful lives being supportive wives for their loving husbands.

Since my divorce….!
Image from www.sincemydivorce.com

But many have found that after a time, their marriage and support program suddenly ended. Perhaps through tragedy, or for other reasons, sometimes divorce. Now, they are older, perhaps wiser, but many are still without an income and a way to pay to live. That doesn’t mean that a divorced woman cannot cope – just that sometimes, the divorce is financially devastating, and they are left with little money and a family to raise, and often on a solo parent benefit or part-time wages.

Financial empowerment for women is vital. Not just for the feeling of satisfaction, but for the independence it brings. Ladies, if you are financially independent, you can choose where and who you want to spend your life with, for reasons other than necessity and somewhere to live. An important goal.

Financial empowerment for men

Guys, there is probably nothing more disempowering than looking at your family, and knowing you cannot provide for them. Not being able to pay the mortgage or the rent, rationing the children’s food, losing the car to the finance company, all for the want of a better cashflow.

Super Dad!
Image from thewonderfulworldofnothing.blogspot.com

The other side of the coin is great! You feel invincible and powerful when you have financial empowerment. When you know that your financials are OK and that the house and car are paid for, and the family is secure, you feel king of the castle. So you should. Supporting and empowering your family is perhaps the greatest responsibility that most people could ever have.

Financial crisis happens, far too often. It happens to good people, to great people, and to most of the people who don’t understand money and financial empowerment. But there’s also a way through it.

The key to financial empowerment is education.

I don’t mean reading, writing and arithmetic, although they are important. Financial literacy education, understanding the financial empowerment principles that make the money world go round. They aren’t too hard to learn, though they can be harder to put into practice.

“No one lives long enough to learn everything they need to learn starting from scratch. To be successful, we absolutely, positively have to find people who have already paid the price to learn the things that we need to learn to achieve our goals.” – Brian Tracy

The world has changed since I was a boy. Fifty years have made a huge difference. A house now costs half a million dollars here, but fifty years ago, $2500 would have got you one. A car was $500, now it is $40,000. But wages were much less! Fifty years ago, it was 365 shillings per week, around $36. The princely sum of $1,800 per year. Now, in Australia, the average annual wage is $75,000. Prices have increased but so has our income.

What HAS changed is the opportunity level!

In this age of technology and information, a person no longer needs a factory or huge amounts of capital to start a profitable business. Many people work their own business from anywhere in the world they want, as long as they can connect a computer, laptop or even tablet to the internet! As long as they have a skill they can apply, a second or even a primary income is available for anyone, if you become educated in how to market something of value to the world!

There are businesses set up solely to market skills, such as Elance – working as contractors in a virtual world, with real people at either end. Computer technicians often repair your computer problems from their own office, working on your computer remotely. People with a little money can invest online and make a living as traders. You can set up a business, consulting, buying, selling, trading, creating, almost anything you want, as soon as you launch your own website and get your story online. There are even people making a good income writing blogs, just telling stories online. There are numerous ways to either supplement an income, or replace it, and there is no discrimination in the virtual world.

What is Residual Income?

Think about your wage. If you don’t go to work, you don’t get paid. No residual income. Think about the rent on a house. The owner could be in Spain, New York or Sydney. The rent still goes into their bank account. That is residual income.

Examples of residual income are:

Financial investments, shares, term deposits etc. You need a lot of money initially and the Return On Investment (ROI) is from 1% to 5% usually. $1,000,000 at 5% is $50,000 pa.
Investment property. In Australia, an investment property starts at around $350,000 and higher, and ROI is either negative (profits from tax benefits) or up to around 5% clear.
Leasing out equipment, rental cars, machinery etc. Lots of money initially but a higher ROI, because of a shorter working life of the equipment.
A second job? Doesn’t qualify, as there is no residual income. However, this is where most people look when they need more money.
A business with employees. If you can set it up so that it makes a profit while you are not there, yes, ongoing residual income. However, bricks and mortar businesses are struggling the world over. Many do not make a profit at all.

Can you make money online?

There is an alternative, made possible by the technological revolution and the internet. It is possible to start a small business online and set it up to operate globally, fully automated and delivering profits into your bank account, wherever you are. Many are very successful; the operators have replaced their regular income and quit jobs, to live on the ever-growing profits of their fully automated online businesses! Click this link for more details and alternatives!

Examples of online income streams:

Contracting your skills, such as through ELANCE, or being a virtual assistant
E-Bay trading, buying and selling items
Shares and options trading, taking a parcel of money and actively trading with it – be careful of the risks! Only for skilled traders!
Consulting and providing advice, for a fee
Website sales of an item, product or service, sometimes digital products or information
Using a website in conjunction with a bricks and mortar business for mail-order sales
Writing and publishing online
Networking of a business opportunity online, building up a global downline network

NOTE: 1-4 are usually not residual income streams although they are internet businesses.

Internet Business Opportunities!
Image from fortune500designs.com

These opportunities are there for everyone. If you have a skill or a product range, you can sell it online, anywhere in the world. If you see a networked business opportunity, you can have a global business almost overnight, with residual income coming in from all over the world. And you don’t have to leave your day job!

If you are also a member of Life Change 90, you can enjoy Personal Empowerment, as well as Financial Empowerment!

Think about this:

Are you earning what you are worth right now?

Are you earning what your family needs right now?

Are you earning enough to fund the dreams of your future, right now?

If not, what are you going to do about it, and when?

There ARE answers, and you can find them in the links here. I look forward to seeing you at the top, earning lots more than you are now!

If you feel this article has financially empowered you and you feel it could benefit the financial empowerment of other people, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates. It might be the day you changed someone’s financial fortunes and future for the better, not just your own!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Take action every day. It doesn’t have to be dramatic action, but every day, stick with it. Spend time on things that make you proud, that stretch and strengthen you.” – Phillip Humbert

Please also refer to my previous posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Empowered by love

Empowerment through emotional intelligence

Tip of the iceberg!
Image from www.soulseeds.com.

“In a very real sense we have two minds, one that thinks and one that feels”
― Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Emotional intelligence begins to develop in the earliest years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages.
Daniel Goleman
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/d/daniel_goleman.html#R7x3cmosuxQpFFMd.99

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Many people have heard of the term “Emotional Intelligence”, made famous in a book by Daniel Goleman and now commonly called “EQ”. We were all made familiar with “IQ”, our intellectual intelligence quotient many years ago, when intelligence testing was considered the ultimate measure of a person. Fortunately, that has since been found to be a very small part of the story. It’s now recognised that a person’s “IQ” is not really as important as how the person is able to utilise their “IQ”. That level of utilisation is often a measure of their “EQ”.

Let me give you an example. I went to school with a really brainy guy. In my own high school up to Grade 10, I was considered reasonably intelligent and won class awards in some subjects. Alongside this guy, I was a dunce! We did a physics exam one day when I was in Grade 11 at College, and he got 65 questions right, out of a possible 66. HE WAS FURIOUS! The question he wasn’t marked correct on had a full stop missing! That’s all! But he wasn’t used to not getting everything right!

However, brilliant as he was in the science laboratory or the maths class, this is the guy who would walk out of the dormitory with his shoe laces untied, his shirt buttoned crookedly and was forever asking for someone to help him with his neck tie! In the world outside the laboratory, the poor guy was hopeless and helpless! I don’t know if he ever got a drivers licence, but I hope not….!

He had a very high IQ, but almost no EQ. And that is the difference.

EQ is the ability to relate to others, to communicate effectively and to empower others.

What is empowerment?

Empowerment is the ability to influence the environment around you for the benefit of all. #Empowerment through emotional intelligence is the way you utilise your communication skills, your ability to create rapport and empathy with people, to influence outcomes and the behaviours of other people.

Let’s face it: Personal empowerment only happens when you empower others. You cannot be empowered in isolation. The most powerful person on the planet is no more powerful than anyone else if they are sitting alone in a dinghy miles offshore. Put that same person in a room with other people and their empowerment becomes evident. Their influence is felt throughout the room. Even if their identity remains unknown, their effect on the people around them will be felt. That is empowerment. But your own empowerment only happens when people around you respond positively to your behaviour and treatment of them.

Empowered Couple
Image from www.essentialoilspedia.com.

You see the evidence of this in many places. A loving couple together may be a formidable team, a unit of considerable influence, power and passion. However, before their meeting and becoming a couple, either of them may have been described by their friends as lacking in confidence. Together, they empower each other.

A political leader can be a dictator and through absolute power wield much influence. However, the most loved leaders will often have more power and influence and especially the respect of their people, than the brutal dictator. As a fringe benefit, they also have more job security and in retirement will be welcome anywhere in the world.

Dictators from history – how many can you name?
Image from www.freemediaproductions.info.

An example of that would be to compare Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein or Muammar Gaddafi with Nelson Mandela. Idi Amin, Saddam Hussein and Gaddafi were dictators, responsible over their long and brutal reigns for the deaths of thousands of people. Their armies kept them in power, but ultimately rebellions and civil wars cost them their leadership. They died as they lived. Nelson Mandela had the same struggle to begin with, perhaps even harder, but when he came to power, he was loved and respected by all, and empowered other people throughout his many years as president of his country of South Africa. When he retired, he remained the most respected elder statesman in the country. The respect for him was global, and even the Pope sought meetings with him. Other world leaders sought his counsel. When he passed away recently, the nation of South Africa was just one of the nations around the world mourning the passing of one of the greatest statesmen the world has ever been blessed with.

An empowered leader, Nelson Mandela
Image from au.lifestyle.yahoo.com.

The same happens with us on a personal level. We need to be empowering others, for us to become empowered people and leaders. Empowerment does not work in a vacuum, or in isolation. Our empowerment is measured by the degree of empowerment we give to those around us.

How do you gain empowerment through emotional intelligence?

The first part of this is understanding the power of our emotions, and the effect they have on our behaviour. Below is the Empowerment Tone Scale Chart. The range of human emotions is captured down the left side of the scale, from the lowest of emotions, apathy, to the highest, up above enthusiasm. It goes much higher, but those are states not relevant here.

Emotional Tone Scale.

The critical point on the scale is the red empowerment line, just above boredom. Below this point, a person is purely reacting to stimuli, but not operating rationally. That is not to say they are not capable of high level thinking and planning, but their thinking is not constructive. In some form or another, it is destructive. Above the line is where interest and constructive thinking begin, and win/win solutions and new concepts are possible.

A person in grief is way down on the scale. In this state, the person is more introspective, turned inward. To communicate with this person, we need to empathise with them, and find a way to reach their emotional state without entering into it ourselves. Then we need to raise them up to the level of the Empowerment Line, even if only briefly, to get them to apply rational thinking to their situation. That doesn’t mean they will stay there, nor should they. There is an established grieving process that people need to complete before they can move on with life. Empowering this person is entirely appropriate, but to try to keep that person, who is suffering with their grief, in an empowered, enthusiastic state for an extended period is denying them their grieving process and unrealistic.

Comfort through grief
Image from www.yourdictionary.com

To raise a grieving person up to an empowered level for a time, respectful questions that require processing are needed. Processing can only be done in an emotional state above the empowerment line. To answer the question, their mind needs to rise to the empowerment level. Gentle questions can do this, and will rouse the person from their grief and enable them to function more rationally.

However, if the person is angry, in emotional pain or hostile, their emotions are directed outward to inflict their pain and angst on the world, to retaliate. Much as a friendly dog will bite when cornered or in pain, the person’s behaviour is also a non-rational reaction to circumstances.

Again, gentle but firm questions that require processing will have a positive effect, although it may take a series of questions and the format is quite specific. Questions such as:

“How can we sort this out?”

“How can we change this around?”

“How can we fix this problem?”

This format aligns the person asking the question with the person feeling the pain or anger, where formerly, they felt alone. It also puts the source of their pain or anger or grief out as an issue independent of the person. It identifies it as a problem that can be solved with rational thinking. Thus the person is raised to the level of rational thinking and empowerment to deal with the issue that was formerly their millstone. This is empowerment through emotional intelligence – your use of your “EQ” can provide a powerful influence on anyone suffering from a lowered emotional state.

Once the emotional state begins to rise, when appropriate, offer the opportunity for some responsibility in and a share of the positive outcomes of the solutions. Offer the hope of brightness of the future, and show them that it is their responsibility to claim it.

How important is empowerment through emotional intelligence?

Look at the vertical blue arrow in the scale. That is the emotional region where most people live, and the majority of them are probably between boredom and hostility, tapering more towards the extremities. In other words, most people you meet will need to be empowered BEFORE you can relate with them! They will need a reason to think and to start a rational thought process before you can have a positive relationship with them, because that is not a normal state for them!

Can empowerment become a normal state?

Yes, absolutely, and empowerment through emotional intelligence is the pathway. It is a learned process, and once learned and the success behaviours and actions of empowerment are formed and become habits, empowerment becomes the normal way of life. And yes, anyone can do this.

Empowerment is not an event; it is a series of success strategies that are lived moment at a time, day by day. It is a way of life. You already have a way of life, a series of strategies that you live, moment at a time, day after day. If you want empowerment in your life, some of those strategies may need to be changed. And you can do it. CLick here to learn more about Empowering YOU!

If you feel this article has empowered and benefited you and you feel it could benefit the personal empowerment of other folks you know, please reblog it, share it with your friends and associates. It might be the day you changed someone’s life for the better! If that was that special person in your life, then congrats: you just changed your own life too!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“emotional self-awareness is the building block of the next fundamental emotional intelligence: being able to shake off a bad mood”
― Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ

Please also refer to my previous posts on Empowerment:

How do you do that? If you are not sure, it comes down to you becoming all you can be also. Work on yourself to realise your own potential. If you are a couple, work on yourselves, but work together – share the journey and grow together. Click here to learn more about becoming an Empowered Couple.

Empowered by love

With Love, anything is possible!

“Love is not the opposite of power. Love IS power. Love is the strongest power there is.”
― Vironika Tugaleva, The Love Mindset

Empowered by love

Image from survivorpediatrics.wordpress.com

The average guy is a pretty fragile creature in some ways. Once we left childhood and the things we grappled with while getting through that stage, we got to the teen years and weren’t they a fearful time! How many guys made it through their teen years with an intact ego? Trying to impress the girls – that’s what we thought we had to do, and mostly we failed. We either got really thick skins fast or learnt some smooth lines. Or we got pretty badly hurt and carried those hurts with us into adult life. Those rejections and teenage girly things we heard thrown at us, some hurt really badly! Mostly we carried some of those hurts forward. I did.

Now, in my adult years, I think of the life I’ve led and the things I’ve done and where I am now and I sometimes stop and wonder.

I am blessed to now be empowered by love. However, that has brought some incredible realisations with it. This amazing lady whose love is given freely and unconditionally – am I really worthy of her?

I mean, it’s a totally reasonable question I think, for a guy who has carried his teenage scars and other skeletons til now, and suddenly finds someone who knows all about them and still loves him, despite those scars and failings, or perhaps because of them…?

I think of my own failings and wonder whether I am worthy of the love of this lady. After all, she is pretty darn amazing. My scars and insecurities tend to surface and I wonder if I am really worthy of her after all. Then the magic happens. Guys, this is what it’s all about! Ladies, you probably don’t realise the power and magic you control….

My source of empowerment

I feel the love of this lady. It goes to my core. I feel it under my skin, in my day, in my thoughts, in my intentions, in what I am dreaming of for the future. A shared future. Our future. That’s when I realise that whatever has happened in the past that I might be less than proud of, less than happy with, I can rise above, because I have been given a new source of empowerment. I am empowered by love, the single most powerful force on the planet.

#Empowered by love, I can pretty much do anything. Empowered by love, I can withstand pretty much anything. Empowered by love, I am pretty much unstoppable. Because I know that it’s no longer just me doing it! Beside me, I have the most amazing lady. Together, we are unstoppable! We are empowered by love, our love!

Guys, really take this on board. If you haven’t felt this love yet, make it your goal to be empowered by love. If you are single, find that special lady and become empowered by love. Become the guy you can be, the one you have the potential to be, so you can attract that incredible lady to you, the one who can make you feel like I do now! Work on yourself so you really ARE worthy of her, by becoming everything you really can be.

If you are in a relationship, and it doesn’t feel like this, how much of it should you take responsibility for? You BOTH committed to the relationship. Have you really lived up to your end of the deal? Whether or not you have, accept the responsibility, and plan to woo this lady all over again. You did it once, you won her heart, now do it again and this time, aim high – aim for unconditional love and believe me, it’s something you can’t achieve without giving it first! But when you do – then you become empowered by love.

Life takes on a whole new meaning when you are empowered by love…

Imagine…
Image from www.mamiverse.com

A quick word to the ladies… Do you realise the power you have over your guy’s fragile heart and soul? We guys are hurt or bruised quite easily, rather more easily than it appears. On the other hand, if you share this incredible and empowering love for him, you CAN make him feel invincible, you can empower him to be your knight in shining armour – or to feel like it anyway, whether he has the white charger or not! Use your power wisely, weave your magic well and let your guy feel empowered by love. And enjoy the benefits of it! You’ll find that when he is empowered by love, you’ll feel pretty darn good too!

I mentioned in my last blog about the ten second kiss. That’s just the start. You might see a lot more of that concept through these blogs in the future, empowering your relationship. In the meantime, it’s a great start and wonderful to help you feel good about growing together.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Greater than atomic power is the power of love. Alas, we use it so sparingly!”
― Dada J.P. Vaswani

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment is not hard. It’s simple, it’s strategic and it’s constant. Constant implementing of daily success habits, morning and evening, practicing throughout the day and celebrating your successes at night. It’s challenging yourself to be the best you can, and recording your efforts to be your best. It’s dropping unproductive habits and replacing them with success habits that step you closer to your own goals every day. It’s putting yourself in a state of mind that is empowered by the environment you create around you. It’s choosing the people you associate with, the information and influences that go into your mind and surround you in your life. One tiny step at a time, all the time. It’s simple, and it’s constant. Click here to learn more about becoming Empowered and learning to use your EQ, as well as your IQ!

Empowered Man
Image from theredlist.fr

“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
― Rich DeVos

What would an empowered man do?

It’s easy to preach. It’s easy to lecture. It’s harder to live what you preach and lecture about. It’s especially hard when Spirit or fate or the Gods on high decide to confront you with a problem straight out of the box you were preaching from!

The question is, when something like this happens, what would an empowered man do?

Now, an empowered man here refers to empowered women, children, teens, civic leaders, politicians, and anyone else you can think of. It’s all of us, and I’m lumping us together under the term ‘man’.

The guy (or girl) comes home, tired and well and truly over the day, it’s been a tough one. Their partner is frustrated as their day was tough too, the kids are noisy, but they just want to sit with a beer or wine and relax, let the day go and when they feel like it, come join the family. But the kids want to play, their partner wants a hand in the kitchen, stuff is happening all around and this is not a time when they can opt out for a while.

Home at last!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

What would an empowered man do?

The question really should come back to “what is important in this life?” and start from there. Attend to the first priorities and work outwards from there, once they have been attended to.

First priority? There’s their partner standing there, tired and very frustrated with their day also. This person committed to spend their life with them, and share the joys and hassles of their family forever. WOW! Number one priority?

#What would an empowered man do? He would kiss this lady, tell her he loved her and block the world out for a while. There’s a book called “The ten second kiss” that I have referred to in my seminars and it suggests that night and morning, and leaving for work and coming home from work is a powerful time for it, that you should kiss your spouse or partner for at least ten seconds. At least twice a day, at those important times.

Why? Because when you kiss someone for ten seconds with your full intention and attention on your kissing, it speaks volumes to them about your love for them, and it does them a world of good too. Things like easing tension, frustration and giving the feeling to them that they are loved and supported in every way. Sort of an antidote to a tiring and frustrating day.

What about the dinner on the stove? What about the kids? What about all the other distractions?

Take the pot off the heat – it’s only for 10 seconds! Get the kids to time you – this is a powerful way for them to see and experience what love between their parents is and should be. There is not much that cannot be put off for just ten seconds!

A great daily ritual
Image from karapearson.com

OK, that’s Priority 1 done. Priority 2 should be a hug for the kids. Big hug, acknowledgement for a moment, so they feel the love too, and it’s amazing how often that is enough for them for a time. Time to enable you to handle the other issues that are demanding attention. Perhaps you can be with the kids in a family way. Grab a coffee or tea, sit with your spouse and children on the couch for a few minutes, have a family hug, right after your ten second kiss. Take a few more minutes with all of you together, sharing your days. Ask your spouse about their day, their ups and downs. The same with the children, asking questions gets them present and takes their mind off concerns that drag energies down. That also allows you to catch up on the urgent news and to plan the next few minutes of dealing with the other issues, such as the dinner that’s cooking, the chores to be done, homework and so on.

What would an empowered man do? He’d first attend to his family and be nurtured by them, while he empowers them with his love and attention. He’d make this a daily ritual.

Another scenario. The empowered man (or woman) is at work and the boss yells at them, bawling them out over something, whether it’s valid or not. The boss is a chump, loud mouthed and obnoxious. The first reaction is to make a batch of ‘nose jam’ and spread it all over his face.

Not again!
Image from www.mccormicksys.com

What would an empowered man do?

First, is it OK to get angry? Yes, and it’s natural to get angry at times. The human body and most other species become angry if provoked. It’s what happens next that matters.

We established a few blogs back that you cannot win an argument. We learnt in another blog about how to empower people when they are angry or fearful, so that you can work with them rationally and come to a good resolution.

Empowerment Emotional Tone Scale

This image is the Empowerment Tone Scale.

(Click on this image to enlarge it!)

The angry person is down under the empowerment line. The fearful or grieving person is lower still, near the bottom. To relate with these people, you need to boost them and their emotional state up to the empowerment level at “interest”, near the top, even if only for a few seconds! You do that with targeted questions, relevant to the topic, but ones they need to process a little. That processing is the key to empowerment. This is because for the mind to process a question, it needs to be in a constructive state, not destructive. Asking a question raises the person’s emotional state. It empowers the person you are asking the question of.

Back to our angry boss. What would an empowered man do?

They would engage the boss with simple, relevant questions to establish the parameters of the situation. They would go on to ask about the specifics. Then they would ask the most powerful question framework “WHAT can WE do about THIS PROBLEM?” This establishes the conflict as an issue separate to either of them, but a problem they can solve as a team. A totally different scenario to when the boss walked in.

That’s better! All sorted now!
Image from www.act-now.ca

Does it work every time? Of course not. But it’s what an empowered person would do first, rather than inflame the issue with retaliation.

Of course, launching into strategies such as these without a reference point in place is going to be a challenge. For some men, if they arrived home and without warning, took their wife and kissed her solidly for more than a few seconds, it would either frighten them or make them very suspicious. After reading this blog, discuss it with your partner and adopt this practice of the ten second kiss morning and evening. Make the family hug a ritual. You’ll probably find it changes other areas of your life too.

With your boss, don’t wait until he’s furious before you try to empower him. Use simple but relevant questions all the time to build his level of empowerment and you’ll find he is much less likely to explode if and when something does go wrong. And at that time, he’ll respond better when you ask more questions, because you have conditioned the situation already. It won’t be anything new!

What would an empowered man do, to become more empowered in the first place?

How do you get to BE this way, without needing to re-read this blog when life serves you a rotten tomato?

After a while, it becomes a habit and is the state of mind you unconsciously life in.

During the learning process, we pass through four stages of competency. They are:

Unconsciously incompetent – we don’t even know we are messing things up!
Consciously incompetent – we know how bad we are at this new thing.
Consciously competent – we know what to do but still need to focus to get it right.
Unconsciously competent – it’s become a good, solid habit; no need to even think about it anymore; we do it unconsciously and get it right every time!

After a while, these new success habits that we practice daily, morning and evening, become a part of our subconscious program and we do them without thinking. We LIVE them.

Words of a wise and empowered man
Image from wolflaguerra.wordpress.com

What would an empowered man do? Subscribe to this program and share it amongst his family, friends and workmates, to empower them too…

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Freedom begins the moment you realize someone else has been writing your story and it’s time you took the pen from his hand and started writing it yourself.”
― Bill Moyers

Please also refer to my other posts on Empowerment:

That is personal empowerment. A program with all of this exists now for you to slip into your daily routine; you can get it here. A few minutes morning and evening and it is done.

Personal Empowerment – starting young!
Image from www.huffingtonpost.com

Personal Empowerment.

You are responsible for your life. So why expect something to happen for motivation. Self motivation is biggest drive for self empowerment. Anil Sinha

I recently sat with a man who had asked me to write his biography, his journey from weighing 350 pounds (160 kilograms) back to 200 pounds (90 kg). After he told me his story, I had a question for him. First, here is his story, briefly.

He had told me that as he grew fatter, just from being a glutton and careless, he grew too big to do his ceiling insulation batt business – he couldn’t fit through the manholes into the ceiling cavity, so he sold that business and bought a security patrol business. Then he couldn’t get in and out of the patrol cars because of his rapidly expanding girth, so he sold that business too. Eventually he began selling real estate in a city office because all he had to do was stand (or sit) near the front door where people would walk by, and he could talk to them.

Something wrong with this picture
Image from nypost.com

However, the life changing chain of events for him began with the bicycle shop next door. Sometimes he’d stand at his front door and chat to the owner of the bicycle shop, a former triathlete champion, and one day he asked him if he could try riding a bike, as he thought he might like to lose some weight. Just making conversation. The reply was that he didn’t stock a bike that would hold his weight!

Then he needed to run to the back of his shop again to the toilet, for the fifth time that hour, and the bicycle shop owner told him he needed to get ‘that’ checked out. He already knew what his problem was. The doctor told him after a few short minutes “You have chronic diabetes caused by your eating habits. If you don’t lose 100 pounds this year, you won’t see next year!” It scared him; he said those words felt like machine gun fire into his chest!

My question to him was: “If that doctor had not threatened you with your own death, at what point would you have decided you were overweight and needed to do something about it?”

His answer? “I don’t know. I never considered it! I don’t know what it would have taken to have that amount of personal empowerment, to recognise my problem and deal with it!”

Personal empowerment is not a big deal.

A whale of a time!
Image from selfimprovementdevelopment.com

My definition for #personal empowerment is the willingness to honestly see yourself as you are, and to commit to making any changes you feel are necessary for your wellbeing, on any level, physical, mental, emotional or spiritual.

That just means that if you know you are not fit, you decide to change that and you do what you need to do, to become more fit. If you have bad breath, you brush your teeth. If someone tells you that your breath is bad, you don’t abuse them for being rude to you; you thank them for being honest with you and then you brush your teeth.

Being less than you can be, less than your human potential is a crime against yourself. That doesn’t mean that you need to be training to be fit enough to run the next marathon. It doesn’t mean you need to immediately begin to diet, or take any other radical steps. It has nothing to do with vanity, and everything to do with your personal pride. Look honestly at yourself. Ask yourself if you are the person you always wanted to be. If you can see how you can become closer to that ideal, then you need the strength to commit to making the changes that will get you there.

OK, I hear some howls of protest! Personal empowerment? I’m suffering from a chronic illness, I can’t do that! I was in a car accident and my injuries won’t allow that! I am overweight because I have a medical condition and the drugs affect me!

Relax. The question is; are you being all you can be? If you are ill, then you are ill and that will place limitations on you physically. But how is your heart? How is your spirit? How is your mind?

Personal empowerment will take you from where you are in your life, to where you could be. It’s not about being fitter, faster, smarter or better than anyone else, just being the best YOU that you could be. Sometimes, personal empowerment is just being the best parent you can be, so that you can be an empowered parent for your children. What this world needs probably most of all, is empowered people, who can be empowered parents, so that the next generation who are our children now can take over this world and continue to make it better and fix the mistakes we have made in getting it to them.

Personal empowerment is worth it.

But how do you get personal empowerment?

It’s the little things that count!
Image from mylifeismymessage.org

It’s easy. Baby steps each day. It’s not a massive shift, it’s just a few little success habits to get into each day, and then continue to do them every day! Not hard at all. You already have a number of habits right now, perhaps some that don’t serve you that you could replace, others that you definitely want to maintain. Like brushing your teeth. But add some affirmations and goalsetting to that. Perhaps doing a few minutes reading of something positive each morning and evening – just a few minutes. Perhaps setting priorities for your day, specific things that will actually advance you a little closer to your goals. Perhaps at the end of the day, doing a review and seeing what you achieved, what you learned, what you felt, and checking off what you actually did. If you started a new habit, check off that you did it, or didn’t – make yourself accountable.

Get into success habits. Start feeling a sense of achievement for the little things, so that when the big things come up and real personal empowerment is needed to face those challenges, you have already been practising, you have the success habits in place, all you are doing is changing the goal……! See? Simple.

The bonus is that it teaches you lots of other cool strategies as well, such as communication skills, financial success tips, stress management and health tips, mental strategies, conflict resolution, goal setting and a whole heap more over the 90 days of the program. That’s the few minutes of positive and empowered reading material, a couple of hundred words a day to get you on track with life changing strategies in every area of your life. Personal empowerment was never so easy! Start your personal empowerment program now! Click here to begin!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Be ambitious towards your own personal enhancement. Steve Mariboli

Please also refer to other posts on Empowerment: