Archive / Personal development

A Prayer for today

A prayer for today

“Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening” Mahatma Gandhi

What a way to start the day!
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orning and the bolt of the evening.
Mahatma Gandhi
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/prayer.html#LiYJAYoq5W2y9qL0.99

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.

Mahatma Gandhi

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mahatmagan133480.html#UY71llSRowjXlHc5.99I’m a writer. I have always been a writer. From time to time in this blog, you will find some spiritual writings, maybe some poetry, and occasionally some Australiana, all either experienced or inspired by events in my life at some time.

I’m a writer. I have always been a writer. From time to time through my blogs, you will find posts on spirituality, mostly from my book “Lessons of Life”. You will also find some poetry occasionally, and even some Australiana stories! All these have been inspired by events or situations in my life, from where I have taken a lesson and been inspired by what happened. There will also be many more of my regular posts on self development, lessons I have learned and taught since I began in the 1990’s, some taken from The Executive Mastermind, some developed for specific purposes or clients.

My first books came out 2 decades ago; the verse below is probably the single page of which I am most proud. It is from the book “Lessons of Life“, a collection of spiritual stories that, when I had a question, I would let fall open and read my answer from the page. It was uncanny how inspirational and accurate it was.

This was a period early in my time of self development and personal growth, when I was still struggling with some of the concepts of spirituality and personal growth that I now know are integrated into my life, things I have been learning, and more importantly, teaching, for the last two decades. I wrote this verse back then, and in those days, I had a diary, a large folder from which I worked and kept my business appointments from.

This verse was in that folder and I read it aloud to myself, night and morning. I’m glad I did. It’s who I am now.

“There is a voice in the Universe urging us to remember our purpose for being on this great Earth. This is the voice of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us” Dr Wayne W Dyer

#A prayer for today: A prayer for every day!

Nicely done!
www.dreamyoga.com

Today, My Perfect Day

A day that I could begin by being of service to another, to start their day also with inspiration and love.

A day when I could plan and begin projects – dreams that could take all of my tomorrows to complete.

A day I would live as though it was my last, as though there would be no tomorrow.

A day when I would play the games I play to the limit,

To laugh as hard as I can,

To love as passionately as I am able,

To work and achieve to my capacity,

yet with time to rest and relax with my loved ones

until we are full of the love we have for one another.

A day when there is time to reflect,

To consider those whose fortunes have not yet been realised, as mine have,

To pray that they may be realised – soon.

A day which closes with a Prayer of Thanks to the Great Spirit and all the guides I have,

for watching over me through this day,

and to ask them to guide me through the next,

so that again someone might say:

“I’m glad that you came by!”

I hope you enjoyed a prayer for today. I do believe that this verse, created during a dark period of my life from some inspiration that came from I knew not where at the time, created a solid spiritual foundation in my life. From these foundations came all the other spiritual and teaching works that I have delivered over the years, and provided the compass by which I steered, mostly. Only when I strayed did I find myself in trouble, and this, a prayer for today and every day, helped me back, each time.

I hope it works for you too.

If you feel “A Prayer For today” has helped you, been of value to you and could possibly help others, please share it, reblog it, tweet it and generally spread the word. If a prayer for today helps just one other person, that makes at least two, and it’s certainly been worthwhile.

Thank you.

No matter how big your sails!
www.modelyachting.com

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

How to win an argument

“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!” Benjamin Franklin

You really want to win this argument?
Courtesy of www.theguardian.com

How to win an argument?

YOU CAN’T!

What happens when you beat someone down into agreeing with you, just for the sake of stopping the argument?

Losers don’t get mad, they get even! That’s right; you just make enemies for the future!

So, #how to win an argument, really?

You must understand what goes on in someone’s mind while they are having an argument, or when they are angry or upset or afraid, and learn to work with it, harness their emotional state, so they can be better people and work through the issue. Only then, do you learn how to win an argument. And it’s not by winning the argument!

What DOES go on in someone’s mind while they are angry?

To understand this, you need to understand a little basic psychology – it will only take about a minute.

When someone is angry, fearful, upset, sad, depressed, terrified or even just bored, their mind is not in a state where rational thought is possible for them. All they can do is react to stimuli. That’s right, like an animal! They are operating from the reactionary part of their mind, the old animal part, the part that was there when we were a species living in caves, frightened of the dark and sabre toothed tigers. We HAD to react, to survive. In effect, this part of the brain is survival territory, where the only instincts are fight, or flight!

How is this valuable, when all you want to know is how to win an argument?

blub, blub, blub…
Courtesy of www.stthomasblog.com

If you picture someone who is in one of these states, imagine that they are underwater. You have to raise them up, so they can breathe, hear your question and respond. Underwater, all they can do is thrash about, trying to survive.

How do you raise the mind up from those depths?

Ask it a question. It really IS that simple.

Not any question. “How’s the weather down there?” might not get the right response.

But if you are arguing with someone, or they want to argue with you, here’s a question that will work:

“HOW can WE sort THIS out?”

There is a VERY specific structure to this question.

An argument has two sides, both adversarial, against each other. “You did it!” “I did not!” And never the twain shall meet, because they are both down in that animal survival instinct area.

But when you ask “HOW can WE sort THIS out?” you have triggered something that the mind is programmed to respond to. The first part is WE.

WE are sorting THIS out!
Image from www.last.fm

Rather than adversarial combatants, you have just grouped yourself with them on a team of two, against THIS, the subject of the argument. You introduced a third-party to the discussion, and put yourself on-side with them, against this third-party. That third-party, the issue, is now a problem you work on solving, together!

And you asked a processing question, HOW. The mind cannot process while down in those depths, so it comes up – sometimes only for a moment, but it comes up to process, into a state of mind where it IS rational, where it CAN respond intelligently, and think about a genuine answer to your question. However fleeting, you got their mind up to where it can process.

What is THIS part of the mind?

This is where the emotions of interest, exploring, asking, and leading up to enthusiasm, happiness and bliss are found. This is where people get enjoyment out of creating, communicating, playing, enjoying doing things. And the lower levels of this, around interest and asking, is where you raised the level of their state of mind to by asking a question.

It may almost immediately seem to sink into the depths again. Be encouraged that you got it to move the first time. Try again. Ask “WHAT can WE do to fix THIS up?” And again: “HOW can WE resolve THIS ISSUE?”

Their mind is now processing all those questions, the more you ask them, up to a point of course, the more they need to process them. However, the mind can’t be in two places at once. It can’t remain angry about THIS ISSUE while processing questions about it, and their anger will subside enough for a rational, if still heated discussion to take place.

Key point 1: How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to raise the emotional tone of the person’s mind so that you can communicate with them, rather than just get reactions from them. Do this by asking HOW, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN to get them processing.

All in this together!
Image from suvendubabu.blogspot.com

Key point 2: How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to work with the other person to resolve an issue. When you put WE into your question, you join forces with them.

Key point 3: How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to stop being the focus of their anger, and put the focus on the issue! Play the issue, not the person. Make the issue the protagonist, to recipient of their energy, not you.

Where to from here?

If you learn to use this language pattern in your everyday communications, you will have many fewer arguments. #How to win an argument will no longer be an issue – this is a negotiation technique superior to anything else out there, because it prevents the argument happening! When you find a discussion descending into those depths, your adept use of questions will quickly bring it back up and resolve the issue, whilst you maintain your relationship…

Think back – how many times would this have solved a problem, or prevented an argument for you?

To learn this way of thinking, and to create your own supportive environment around you to encourage this to become your natural language, it’s worth looking at a structured program to assist you to develop it. Check out this blog.

Or check out the Life Changing program here.

If you know other people who want to know how to win an argument, or who you feel would find this post valuable, please reblog it or share it with them. Let’s add some more value to this world!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” ― Albert Einstein

Commitment Phobia

image from news.cision.com

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi

What is Commitment Phobia?

You know THAT GOAL you set? Yes, that one. How serious are you about it? How committed are you?

Pretty serious? Fairly committed? Really serious? Fair dinkum? Really….?

OK, no more stories – give me a number.

On a scale of 1-100, how committed are you to achieving THAT GOAL?

No reasons, no stories. Just give me the number.

Is your number 100?

Congratulations, you ARE totally committed!

Is it less than 100? If so, why bother with that goal?

Do you have what is called Commitment Phobia?

“If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?” Harvey Fierstein

If your car broke down on the side of the road and someone stopped and offered to help, but you said, “OK, but can I finish this carton of beer first?” what do you think their response would be?

Something like: “Well, if you are not serious about getting home, then I see no reason to put myself out to help you!”

It’s a bit like that with goalsetting, the Universe, and the “Laws of Attraction”…

The guy kneeled beside his bed and prayed: “Lord, please help me to win the lottery”. He prayed for hours, night after night.

After a while, God must have become frustrated with him… The loud voice boomed:

“At least you could help me to help you. How about buying a ticket?”

Are you giving yourself EVERY chance to win, to succeed at your goalsetting? Or are you asking your God, Angels, Guides or whoever you pray to, to do all the work for you? It doesn’t work that way. You have to at least have the ticket, to play the game and have a chance of winning! Spectators don’t win games, only the players in the arena get to stand on the podium!

Let me think about this a bit more!
Courtesy of www.inspirationalexaminer.com

Commitment Phobia is a funny term. It is often used to refer to guys who want to ‘play the field’ and not tie themselves down to any one lady. (Trust me guys, when you get it right, commitment to THE lady is INCREDIBLE!)

However, commitment is a vital part of life, and anything less than total commitment to the task at hand can get us into a lot of trouble!

As a child, I worked with my Dad on our farm. One day we were using a large steel rope to drag logs around. Dad’s words were profound and powerful to me as a 9 year old. I still find they apply every single day! He said:

“Get a good, strong grip on that rope, like you were going to choke it! If you don’t give it everything, it will twist out of your hands and hurt you!”

WOW! How often has THAT happened? The wire rope could have been that incredible person you met, who you let slip by because you didn’t call them back, or you didn’t think you were good enough…. It could be that job opportunity that went begging because you didn’t get your application in on time because of the weekend BBQ, or you were late to the interview. Perhaps it was the great job you lost, because you got lazy in it and someone passed you by on the corporate ladder. Ouch, every time!

How committed were you to all these things, or did you have a form of #commitment phobia standing in your way. Did you get complacent? Did you let self-doubt give you commitment phobia? If it’s important enough, what would you NOT do, to succeed at something that meant everything for you?

Row, or stay all at sea!
futuresteve.wordpress.com

For those who believed in the inevitability of the ‘middle aged spread’ and other aging myths, who have let their bodies go a little, how serious are you about your health? Again, give me a number, 1-100. Anything less than 100, I have to ask, why? You only get one chance per lifetime to have a healthy body. Just ask those folks who have been stricken with some crazy and challenging illness that they struggle with daily, just to stay alive! If you asked them how committed they are, with their last remaining ounce of energy they would bop you. They don’t have commitment phobia – they cannot afford it!

Neither can you!

Commitment Phobia is a creeping disease.

You begin with a rush of enthusiasm, but it wanes after a while. Then you begin to find excuses. Then you realise that it no longer matters, or you tell yourself it doesn’t matter.

Mother and toddler – love them always.
tipstoahealthy-relationship.blogspot.com

I worked with a guy called Michael who reached a whopping 350 pounds weight, 160 kilograms. He changed jobs 3 times because he couldn’t physically do the work, before he had his wake-up call. I asked him why it took severe diabetes and his doctor warning him that he was liable to drop dead at any moment, to stop and rethink his life. He said that it just crept up on him, a few pounds at a time, and he just kept buying bigger clothes, cars and getting easier jobs until one day, a bicycle shop owner next door to his workplace smiled at him when he walked in the door. He asked him why he smiled, and he was told that it was almost impossible for him to buy a bicycle to fit him, so what else was he looking for in there…..! OUCH! Off to the doctor!

He became committed. He committed to his life, to his wife and to his toddler daughter… Within 2 years, he was riding in triathlons, in what is called the “Clydesdales” class, the class dedicated to men over 200 pounds or 90 kilograms weight. He has since completed a Hawaii Iron Man and has a trophy cabinet to be proud of. And he has no commitment phobia! He cannot afford it – diabetes is there, waiting to pounce on him any time he wavers.

Triathletes at work!
www.picstopin.com

Do you have commitment phobia?

Think about your goals and dreams. Give yourself a number on them. If it is less than 100, ask yourself seriously, why you set THAT GOAL. If it really IS a serious goal or a critical issue for you, then there is a way to get totally committed and shake off that commitment phobia.

Find a way to be passionate about your goals!

Michael thought of his wife and baby girl, and got passionate about life again. What will make YOU passionate about YOUR goals? In the Life Change 90 program, you learn about finding your passion, and about redefining your goals so that you live and breathe them and you are excited to get out of bed for them each day. It takes that sort of passion to guarantee success in achieving your goals.

New Years Resolutions usually have only an 8% success rate, and average goals get as low as 3% success, with partial success around 15%.

If it’s important to you, an 8% chance of success is not good enough. It MUST be a total commitment, or nothing at all – put your time into something else….

Why is passion vital to overcome commitment phobia?

www.ankurbakhshi.info
Goethe’s famous quote on Commitment

Because if there is a solid and compelling enough reason for WHY, you WILL find a HOW to achieve that goal. When failure is just not an option, then you will find a way.

Passion is a powerful driver, but it also pays to work smart, too! Banging your head against a wall, no matter how passionate you are, will still give you a headache! Having a success formula to plug into and a supportive environment to work in while going for your dreams is a huge bonus for those with passion. It gets the goal a lot faster too. Get your Success Formula HERE NOW!

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans” Peter F Drucker quotes

To overcome commitment phobia, check out these blogs, on Systemizing Personal Development and Success Habits. Leave commitment phobia behind and make your next year your best year yet!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray

Self Confidence

Self confidence – a function of knowing what you are doing, knowing that you are good at doing it, and knowing the task will be successful. It’s in your own knowing that you will succeed.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ― Theodore Roosevelt

Of course I can fly!
upwithlifecoaching.com

Recently I wrote about Self Esteem; it has much in common with Self Confidence, but there are significant differences.

Self Esteem is feeling good about you.

Self Confidence is feeling good about your ability to perform in a given situation and knowing you can handle it.

I once gave a talk to a large group and a question around Self Confidence came up. When asked how it was I could talk so easily in front of so many people, my reply caused a ripple of laughter. I said “If you were the nursing mothers association, and I was giving a talk on breast feeding, I wouldn’t feel quite so confident!”

When you look at it, I’d have been talking on a subject I knew next to nothing about, to a group of people who were the acknowledged experts. Both of these are key areas of potential failure – failing because I knew so little, and then being called out by people who knew so much.

Did I have a self confidence problem because I knew I’d fail if I was talking to a Nursing Mothers group? No, not at all, because I knew I was already good at what I did when in my chosen environment. I had a confidence benchmark, because I already knew I could speak confidently on my own topics. It’s not my place to lecture people in their areas of specialty.

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” ― Coco Chanel, Believing in Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women

From there, we can look at how to gain self confidence. How do you develop self confidence?

Firstly, look for what you are good at. Doesn’t need to be a major skill set, start small, regardless of whether you are actually a master at something. Can you tie your shoelaces? OK. Can you tie them in a perfectly even bow? Great.

I can tie my shoelaces!
Image from marriagehelp.com

Look at what you have just said about yourself. You have manual dexterity and an eye for detail. Where else can you apply those skill sets?

This is the beauty of understanding yourself and getting a little tutoring in self development – your lessons teach you that being good in one area automatically means you are good at other things too – you don’t need to go try everything out to learn that! You can be CONFIDENT about it, without ever doing it!

The key to self confidence: because you can do one thing well, it means you can also do other things well! Your skills and abilities are transferable between tasks and challenges.

I hear the Nay-Sayers: “But there are things I am hopeless at! Can’t I feel bad about not being good at something?”

That’s your choice, but I’m not going there. You see, there are things I’m hopeless at too. Keep me away from a filing cabinet – you don’t want me filing for you! Not my skillset. I could lose every important document you ever had in quick time. But I wouldn’t feel bad about it; because I know it’s not my thing. I have a filing system arranged for me here, and instructions on what to do with it. The main file I use is called, wait for it: DATA ENTRY REQUIRED! And not by me! My self confidence doesn’t get dented just because I know I can’t file papers. Other people can, so they do it. I don’t. It’s that simple! I am no rocket scientist and that doesn’t concern me either. Nor am I a botanist, although I love looking at flowers. I just look; it’s close enough and safer for the plants.

Filing? What, me?
www.1staccessservices.co.uk

See the emerging picture? Leave the things alone that you don’t have to do, or are not good at. Find someone who can handle what you can’t. But pour your heart and soul into what you can do well and feel great about it. Another secret to self confidence, let the good feelings about what you do well, the self confidence feelings, overflow into the rest of your life!

Here is a classic example of a downward spiral in self confidence.

Billy is at work and messes up a contract.

YOU BLEW IT!
www.ehow.com

The boss bawls him out over it and the whole of the office hears it. The people he supervises now wonder about him and he feels their eyes boring into him. The end of the day comes and he escapes to the sanctuary of home, where he reluctantly tells his wife about his humiliation. She is all comforting and makes him a nice dinner, then they put the kids to bed and she says “Come to bed and make love with me….!”

Up to that point, he was starting to recover, but now, he has to perform again and his mind suddenly goes back to the session with the boss, and he has already been humiliated once today, over his work performance! He pours himself another drink and decides to watch TV instead. One humiliation a day is enough for our Billy! Bad move, Billy!

Self confidence can spiral both ways.

I GOT THE CONTRACT!
2findtrueluv.blogspot.com

Billy could have thought about all the things he was good at, and perhaps considered that his boss was also having a bad day and that was why the loud voices, rather than the regular quiet discussion over the contract. He could have decided that one mistake doesn’t a failure make, told his wife about it and celebrated with her that he was thinking of a way to regain that contract next day. After an evening of loving and nurturing with his wife, and a great sleep afterwards, he could go into work next day with enthusiasm and inspiration to pick up the phone and win that contract back…

The lesson from this is that our attitude and the self development environment we create around ourselves plays a huge part in our self confidence. If we choose to be in an environment where goals are set each day, where our achievements are celebrated every day, where positive self talk is the norm, and where we review and reflect on our day every evening with a view to setting up tomorrow for success also, then an occasional flop is only going to create a great campfire story, rather than a downward spiral into depression. Creating this type of environment is actually a choice you can make at any time. If you choose not to surround yourself with positivity and celebrations of your successes, what ARE you choosing as your environment?

If your self confidence is important to you, then creating an environment that fosters self confidence is critical for you.

How do you create such an environment, which builds and multiplies your self confidence?

Start your Self Confidence Boost Program HERE NOW!

Check out this page on Success Habits and perhaps the recent blogs on Self Esteem and Self Development Tips. They will show you the way to a whole new world to live in, one where you get to be King or Queen – which ever you choose!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

New Years Resolutions

What are you planning for your New years Resolutions?
Courtesy of www.health.com

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” Bill Vaughan

You might think it’s strange to be writing about New Years Resolutions a month before Christmas. However, on December 31^st, at 11.59 pm, when your New Years Resolutions are about to take effect, it’s likely your mind will be on Auld Lang Syne, champagne, a clock counting backwards or looking for someone to kiss and say “Happy New Year” to!

Where it will NOT be, is on your New Years Resolutions!

There will be some folks who ask you, in the wee small hours after the stroke of midnight “Whatcha gunna do fer yer Noo Years Reso (Hiccup) lootions?” and even if you answered, they aren’t going to remember. No, that’s no time to be talking about New Years Resolutions.

Darn it!
www.toonpool.com

Now is the time. Now is when you can start to look back at the year just gone and decide whether or not you are happy with it. If not, can you make it so you will be happy with it by the end of the year? And if you can’t make it right by the deadline, now is the time to start planning to do it better next year. But not just planning to do it better – the road to hell is paved with good intentions, putting a program in place that ensures it will be better!

What are New Years Resolutions?

They are goals. Anyone who says they have never set a goal, but who has made New Years Resolutions has set goals. They may not have achieved them, but they have set them.

There is a formula for success with goals, and it’s not a hard one to adopt. However, the challenge is maintaining your efforts towards achieving the goal, and that’s where a bit of structure comes in handy. There’s a blog about it HERE. The old “SMART” mnemonic is still valid when deciding on the New Years Resolutions.

S = Specific. Exactly the condition and result you expect.

M = Measurable. You need to be able to evaluate your progress and have the progress under your control.

A = Attainable/realistic. A stretch for you maybe, but certainly possible to achieve.

R = Relevant. It has to be something that fits in with your life, direction, desires and makes sense in your world.

T = Timely – within a set time frame. It has a deadline, so you cannot procrastinate with it.

This is the WHAT of New Years Resolutions; deciding what will make your new year better than the last, but HOW you achieve it is a little different and the most challenging part. That’s where you need a program that will keep you on track. That may or may not involve other people, but it almost always involves a little self-discipline and a routine of success habits that you plug into to make sure your goals achieve the priority in your life they deserve, whilst giving you the freedom to live that only a life with a “Plan B” in place can feel like!

What has prevented you achieving your earlier New Years Resolutions?

Statistics show that only 8% of people are successful at achieving their New Years Resolutions. 49% sometimes succeed, and 24% NEVER succeed! Why is this? Why do so many fail?

The dogs viewpoint! www.thezerosbeforetheone.com

Sometimes, they were the wrong ones to begin with, set in haste over a celebratory or reflective drink, trying to fix things that were never going to work. However, even with the right goals and New Years Resolutions, obstacles still crop up. Financial troubles, people letting you down, availability of necessary items, resources and even time.

This all requires planning because the one thing we all know is that when you plan something, you need to plan also for it going over budget and over time – it’s called contingency planning! You need a “Plan B” built into your program!

Things do happen to upset plans. It can be from your own cause – such as forgetting a previous commitment, ill health, family commitments clashing and lots more. It can be from external causes, such as the weather, your employer making an unexpected demand on your time, a promotion or other change, losing your job, a car breakdown or a disaster from someone else that drags you in, and so on.

Contingency plans are made to handle such situations. Put simply, you need to allow for extra resources in all areas, including time, manpower, money and whatever else is specifically relevant to your New Years Resolutions.

Why do 8% of people succeed with New Years Resolutions?

People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions. In other words, people with a plan! These successful people think about them in advance, write them out and set them as a goal.

Incidentally, this is about the same success rate as regular goalsetting!

Why bother with New Years Resolutions?

Because the New Year is a time of change! A time of renewal. A time to review and correct what hasn’t worked for you, and to take time to plan ahead and get it right! The human evolutionary drive (Entrepreneurs Credo) is such that we are programmed to strive for better – we cannot escape it.

However, throughout the year, we are all full on busy with work and life commitments. The end of the old year/start of the New Year is the one time of year generally when people can take a little time off to celebrate with family and friends, reflect, review their progress and restart the New Year with renewed vigour, enthusiasm and New Years Resolutions that may make the coming year better than the previous one.

Sydney Harbour on New Years Eve
www.redbubble.com

How do you make sure you can put your New Years Resolutions out there, and make them turn into your New Years reality?

Plug them into a program, a system that will ensure they work. A program that provides that supportive environment around you that encourages you to focus on what is important, and protects you from distractions that would take you away from the important challenges, of being the best you that you can be, and that you and your family deserves.

Check out this blog on why you should systemize personal development if you are wondering why you need a system to plug into.

If you enjoyed this blog and value the message, please share it and reblog it. Who knows what a difference it could make in someone else’s life! When you wish to start your New Year’s Program, start HERE!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

Celebrate every success!
www.thatsfit.com

Self Esteem

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” ― Maxwell Maltz

Yep, that’s me!
Courtesy of www.blisstree.com

My last blog on Self Development Tips was from the Life Change 90 Blogsite. I promised to follow on with how to create great Self Esteem and here it is, the two ways to develop Self Esteem.

Self Esteem

There are really only two ways to develop a feeling of high self esteem, unless you were born into a naturally nurturing environment, where you were brought up to feel good about yourself from early childhood. If that is you, then congratulations – spread the goodwill, if not, these are the other two ways.

The first way to build high self esteem.

As a teenage guy, I had all the insecurities that most other teenage guys had, and I had a few more that many didn’t have! I lived miles from town, had little social interaction outside of school, was taller than all my classmates and a lot bigger, although I was fit and strong without being overweight. I always came top of my class right through school and was a champion athlete; I was ridiculed heaps for these – mostly by those who envied those attributes. However, the ridicule struck, and stuck, went to the bone.

At the ripe old age of 18 years, I asked one of my mates, one of the ones who had a queue of girlfriends, why he had luck with the girls and I had none. Wasn’t I good looking enough?

His answer, coming from the heart of the true friend he was to me, stayed with me for the next 15 years. He said: “You are a ruggedly handsome looking sort of guy. Don’t worry, it will happen…..!”

In that instant, I associated ruggedly handsome with being unlucky in love, a poor communicator with women, and everything else negative that I was experiencing. I suddenly realised how much I didn’t like being ‘ruggedly handsome’…

Life went on. I left the family farm I grew up on and bought my own, married, had a son, divorced, lost a business, started another, became very successful at making people wealthy after rescuing them and their businesses from the stock market disaster in 1987. Life was great, I was powering, had money, everything, but despite all this I still didn’t like me.

In 1989, I began some self development work on me. I had to – I was a machine at work, ruthlessly despatching banks to the scrap-heap in getting better deals for my clients, hard-nosed negotiations, precision calculations, strategies, but utterly devoid of fun or interest in life and living. I was great at what I did, but at living, I sucked badly.

In this self development program, something triggered a switch in me. I took stock of what I had achieved, what I was doing and what I was capable of. I looked at the amazing people around me, people who considered us to be friends, people who respected me, and it started to do things to me, in my head, stuff I had never felt before. I was successful, I had so much credibility with the people I worked with, I mixed with globally significant figures in business and was developing a significant business profile in my own right.

I had an epiphany. I got out of bed one morning after a period of these unsettling thoughts and emotions (what were they?) and when I looked in the mirror, it was like I looked at a different person. I suddenly said “You’re OK! I’m OK!”

I suddenly realised that what my dear friend said all those years ago was absolutely wrong for me. It was just his well-meaning words at the time, trying to ease the concerns of his good mate, who wasn’t getting lucky with the girls. That wasn’t me. If it was back then, it certainly wasn’t now. In that instant, I got to like me, like what I was, what I did, what I stood for and I started to feel again, starting with feeling good about me!

The epiphany came about because I had been forced, by this self development work, to start looking at and taking stock of my life and coming to realise that I was actually an OK guy, doing some great stuff!

This was the hard way to develop self esteem. It might just as easily have gone the other way – if I didn’t like what I found in my stocktake, it might have gone very differently.

This was me – without the dress!
courtesy of pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com

But there is an easier way.

The second way to guarantee high self esteem.

In the 1960’s, a guy called Maxwell Maltz is reported to have said at the launch of one of his books, ‘confidence and self esteem is built from repeated experiences of success’.

Therefore, if you consciously place yourself in situations where you will, or are likely to have repeated experiences of success, then your self esteem and confidence will grow. It must grow! The trick is knowing where that place is!

The reality is that it’s not hard. The concept of goalsetting within a self development program is what is required. Creating an environment that nurtures and supports you, with affirmations in the environment, daily counting of successes, setting them up as little goals in the morning and checking them off each evening, checking your moods each day, learning to be aware of them and finally to anticipate and set them consciously, all of these elements build to a powerful self esteem, based on actual successes and personal growth within you.

This was REALLY me!
Courtesy of www.lifedaily.com

You can build self esteem accidentally like I did, and hope that after some time (I took 15 years!) you will realise you are OK too, and you always were. Or you can step into a framework that does it all for you. It’s possible. Check out this blog on why you should systemize personal development, or even here, about why bother with personal development.

Twenty years on, much has evolved to enable you to consciously choose the outcomes that I stumbled upon, and fortunately landed in a good place. Some folks from those times didn’t make it and unfortunately ended up well away from where they wanted to be. As teens, we admired and envied some of our mates but now, I see that much of what we envied got those guys into serious trouble fitting into and creating a life of success.

There are better ways. And they all require good self esteem!

If you enjoyed this blog and value the message, please share it and reblog it. Who knows what a difference it could make in someone else’s life! To start your new life, with a healthy dose of Self Esteem, start HERE!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

“You can always find the sun within yourself if you will only search.” ― Maxwell Maltz

Self Development Tips

www.jobjasoos.com
It’s easy to break through when you know how!

Is a problem still a problem, if you don’t know you have it?

Absolutely! Ignorance is not bliss! Ignorance can get you killed, maimed, broke, divorced, out of work, out of luck, and out of chances!

The smart thing is to get over being ignorant of any problems you don’t even know you might have, and get some self development tips.

How do I know I have a problem?

How’s life? Any areas you want to work better? There you go, found some straight away! Wasn’t hard at all. Now, how to go about making them better. This is where those self development tips come in!

“You Have the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams!” ― Tae Yun Kim

Why self development tips?

petetheplumberny.com Call in the experts!

Why not just hire someone to fix the problem? That would be good if it was a plumbing problem, where you can call in someone trained in fixing plumbing problems. However, if the issue is closer to home, such as within YOU, then who better to look to for answers than the person who lives there with the issues?

It’s not hard to work out what the problems are, but it can be tricky working out the answers, and often, we don’t know them. If we did, we’d probably try to or already have the problem solved with the answers. However, the real problem is that most people don’t know how to ask for what they want! And the super major problem with that is that they don’t realise they don’t know how to ask for what they want!

Self development tips 1: How to ask for what you want!

This is a big issue, so we’ll devote a little time to it. The formula here applies to everything in life, so it’s worth taking notes. There are 5 steps in Self Development tips 1:

Step 1: Know what you want! Sounds simple, but how many times have you been asked, and been unable to immediately answer? Before you start asking for anything, be really clear on what it is you want, or want help with. Clarity leads to power, so get clarity first. That may mean writing it out, mind mapping it or talking it over with a friend who can play devil’s advocate, but get clear on exactly what you want!

ahboycreativemind.blogspot.com
Clarity leads to power!

Step 2: Know who to ask! Again, sounds simple, but why do so many people get it wrong? Sure, the taxi driver may have a sound opinion on it, and may even be right, but is he the guy to ask? Is your brother-in-law the guy to ask? Possibly not.

How do you know who to ask? Look at their results. Look at what their profession is. If it’s relevant to your question, see if they are getting results in it. Look around for people who already have the answers to the question you want answered. But before you ask, make sure you are asking someone who actually can help you!

That’s not to say that family and friends are not the right people to ask, nor should you shun the taxi driver. Get a range of opinions and rationally sift through them, educate yourself so that you are qualified to analyse the answers and make your decisions and choices.

Step 3: Be in exchange! You want a pizza? $10.00 please! You want the answer to a life changing question or problem? What is it worth to you? What will someone charge you to provide it? There needs to be an exchange of some sort.

surangi.blogspot.com
Talk to the right people

If it was simply information, you might Google it for free. But experience? That comes from a mentor, someone who has been there. That will cost a little more. You need to be clear in advance what it is worth to you to get what you want, what you are asking for, and whether you can afford to pay for it!

A small distinction: the exchange need not be money! If the retired business person over the road had the answers to your business problems, they may not want money in exchange. They may want you to talk to them, invite them into your business for their interests’ sake, give them something to think about and do. They may be missing the activity of their business life and want an interest again, something to do…. Some mentors want a percentage share of profits; some want an hourly consulting rate. Or they may just need the lawn mowing from time to time…! An exchange – something that feels fair to both of you.

Step 4: Ask as if it’s yours. Be confident, bold, assertive. Ask as though you already have it!

asoterralingua.blogspot.com
CONFIDENCE!

The timid people stay home and wonder, while the successful people get out and ask, do, and get what they need from life. That doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive. It does mean you must have the courage and confidence to take that step forward and actually ask someone to help you. In asking for help, the implication is also that you are humble enough to acknowledge that you need help and are also humble enough to accept it! This is not about being rude, arrogant and pushy in your quest for what you want. It’s about turning up, and allowing yourself the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time, to get what you need. Rarely will it be home delivered, you will have to get off the couch to get it!

Step 5: Ask until it is yours! Sometimes, you ask the question and get your answer immediately. It’s possible! Right place, right time. But that’s not all the time, and you might have to ask a lot of questions in a lot of different ways, to get your answers and get what you went looking for.

Some people won’t have your answer. Some people will, but won’t give it to you, or you won’t be able to afford it. Some people will feel threatened by you and others will be wary about you asking them trade secrets. But then, eventually you will come across the person with the answers you need. Eventually, you will find what you want. But you still need to keep knocking on doors until that time comes and it may not come easily.

This was the first of your self development tips. Apply it everywhere because it works on anything you need. Anything. Including the rest of the tips – it’s a bit like the padlock on the pantry door – once you get that one right, the rest is a lot easier!

Self development tips 2: Daring to dream.

techandscience.com
It’s all in the way you see yourself!

It might seem silly to include this, but so many people have heard “NO” so often, they longer allow themselves to dare to want anything, or dream of anything better. It’s called conditioning. We all need to dare to dream of what could be, so that we can go looking for it!

Is a better relationship with your partner possible? Possibly. But you need to dare dream of it being better first, and then talking about it with them to ignite their dreams too!

Is a more satisfying career possible? Possibly, but first, allow yourself to get clear on what would make it better and more satisfying. Could the same position be made better with a few changes and tweaks, or do you need to start again somewhere else?

Clarity leads to power. Allow yourself to dream. Get clear on your dreams. Then go looking for them, to make them happen.

Self development tips 3: Have a plan.

Again, a simple but very profound point. When you take a holiday, how much time do you put into preparation for it? For a fortnight of holidaying, you probably put months of evenings planning into it. But how long since you did some life planning, which includes your work life, family life AND your holidays? So few people plan ahead for anything but events, when the whole of your life is a journey!

easyconsult.com.au
Have a plan!

When you look at holiday planning, put it into Google, and it will come up with something like 370 MILLION results in 0.2 seconds. You can get phone apps for holiday planning. Holiday planning has been systemized so much that you can hardly get it wrong anymore! You just plug into the system and your holiday is done for you.

Why not systemize your life planning?

In just the same way, you can plug into personal and self development planning which encompasses relationships, career, finances, spiritual development, dreams and goals, everything you could possibly want in life, as well as holidays, and for a few minutes a day, have it organised as well! There is a blog worth checking on this point – see it HERE, and make Self Development Tips 3 the one which changed your life!

Think about it. You asked the question – self development tips 1, you dared to dream – self development tips 2 and made a plan – self development tips 3 – you happened to be in the right place at the right time, this time! Sounds like a program you’d want to be in! Start it here now!

Self development tips – there just might be something in it!

Next time, let’s look at feeling good about being you, who you are, and what you stand for. Let’s look at self esteem and being proud of you!

If you enjoyed this post, if you believe it has merit, please share and reblog it, send it on to your friends, and anyone else you think may benefit. Who knows whose life you might change! Including yours!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken…” ― Evanescence

Self Development why bother?

stressguide101.blogspot.com
Turn your own light on!

Self Development why bother?

“For the best return on your money, pour your purse into your head.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Have you ever wanted more? More of anything? For any reason?

Have you ever considered why that was?

It is human nature for people to be explorers, inventors, creators or to wish they were. It’s a human evolutionary trait and has ensured the survival of the species so far, and enshrined man as the top species on the planet, by way of adaptation, versatility with living environments, and ability to either change to suit an environment, or change the environment to suit man.

Whilst you might not think that this affects you, it’s the same drive that makes you want to stretch just that little bit, be that little bit better, score a little higher, to want more.

As children, we wanted to impress Mummy and Daddy and how good we were at anything we did. At school, we either strove to be the best in class or on the athletics field, or were envious of those who excelled. We paid homage to the top athletes, the highest achievers in any competition, and if we were shown to be failures at any time, it was a time of derision, and sometimes shame for us.

This is the human evolutionary program, and it has a lot to do with the Darwinian theories. The law of the jungle, the fittest and best survive and thrive to ensure continuity of the species.

Law of the jungle – those most suited will survive!
www.incrediblesnaps.com

“Man is not going to wait passively for millions of years before evolution offers him a better brain.” ― Corneliu E Giurgea

So, Self Development why bother? How does it relate to you, now?

The feelings of frustration you experience from time to time are tied in with this. Those feelings of frustration are telling you that you are not winning, that you are not good enough to succeed at this challenge, and you need to become better. It’s that evolutionary programming at work, pushing you to learn more, so you can be more and do more and achieve more.

That’s not to say that you are being forced into continual retraining. It’s just a reminder to you, gently, that you need to keep up to date with your skills.

However, look at where your frustration occurs. Does this suggest something to you?

If you are continually frustrated in a particular area of your life, let’s use relationships as an example, the frustration is urging you to develop more in that area of life. If your relationships are difficult to begin, short-lived, painful, end badly and leave scars, you don’t really need to be told that there is probably something you have yet to learn in the relationships field.

Sources of knowledge
collegepals.org

It’s not a call to become the guru of self development – just a call to perhaps pick up a book at the library and see if you can get some tips.

Self development why bother with growth and learning when so many people seem to get by just fine, and they seem like perfect morons to me?

That’s true too. There are those people who appear to wander through this world, totally ignorant of everything around them and yet they seem to manage. It’s all relative to your desired place in your world and your community. Is THAT how you want to be perceived by the people around you? Or would you rather some respect when you speak?

There are times in life when we decide to stretch a little, perhaps getting married, asking the question, daring to invite or allow another person into your life. Perhaps it’s starting a business, taking your idea to the market place and asking people to trust you enough to do business with you. Perhaps buying a house, and asking the bank to respect you enough to assist you with a home loan.

It’s times like these that you really don’t want to be seen as the village idiot. It’s a great reason to want to try to be more than you are, to reach your potential.

But it’s not the only reason!

Self development why bother to aim even higher?

There IS so much more! We are each born with gifts that are in some ways, unique to us. Look at the people who come to mind when you think of greatness?

Think of great authors, perhaps Wilbur Smith, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, F Scott Fitzgerald, J K Rowling, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe and so on.

Think of great minds, and Einstein comes to mind, along with Leonardo Da Vinci, Marie Curie, Faraday, Bell, Marconi, Isaac Newton, and Edwin Hubble.

Sports people? There are so many; First four-minute mile went to Roger Bannister in 1954 and is a perfect example. He inspired John Landy to become the second to achieve the feat on 21^st June 1954, only 6 weeks after Bannister on 6^th of May, 1954. Since then, many have achieved the feat, inspired by these achievements. Not only did they prove it was possible, they could probably be credited with the start of sports science, the study of what the human body can possibly achieve.

That led to the development of sciences of the mind, because it was soon realised that attitude was almost as important as physical ability when it came to achievements of physical prowess.

Which brings us back to the starting point!

Self development why bother?

Because it opens new worlds up to us, for a tiny outlay of time and energy, the results and returns can be multiplied many times over.

Knowing how someone achieved something else means you can learn from their efforts, trials and mistakes, and go straight to a winning strategy. Knowing what mental state to be in for a specific task can mean success or failure at that task – why wouldn’t you want to know that? Knowing how to win the love, admiration and lifelong affections of someone you admire, surely that is worth stretching yourself a little to learn? Knowing how to be the best partner, lover, breadwinner, parent or whatever it is you desire in your life, that is why we bother!

Self Development why bother?

The world at your fingertips! healthyshouts.blogspot.com

Because we have to earn our place at the tables in this world. We have a choice – earn that place at the table or get the crumbs left by those who did!

The great thing about self development is that not many do actually bother, making it easy pickings for the rest of us! So many are content with the crumbs, perhaps because they have never looked up and realised where they fell from. However, you are reading this now, so you know about the seats available at the table, and you also probably know that this could be a first step towards taking one.

There are people who will read this, perhaps in desperation and or frustration, who have some sort of physical or health challenges and who have asked the question: Self Development why bother? and decided it wasn’t worth it. I say to you, no, you don’t need to be a Roger Bannister, but look at what he REALLY did! He proved that more could be had and done, and inspired millions of people to strive for me, and who ultimately went on to create better lives for themselves, and for so many others. Who could you be an inspiration for?

Look at your frustration – we discussed it earlier. Perhaps you still have a gift to discover, that will ease your frustration. No, I can’t and neither can anyone else give you a shortcut to it and tell you what it is or how to do it. That’s up to you – it’s called personal development, your own journey of self discovery. The truth is that the longest journey most of us will ever make is the journey to discover our true potential! If you are wondering whether it is worth it, ask yourself if you have unexplored potential yet to be shown to the world, or even to yourself. Are you sitting on a gift that you don’t yet know about? You can begin or continue your Self Development journey by CLICKING HERE NOW!

Self development why bother?

Because it’s worth it. You owe at least this much to yourself and your family! Welcome aboard!

If you wish to explore Self Development further, it’s easy to make a start. Look at this blog for a way to put a little self development into each day, to create better results as you progress and ultimately bring out the full potential of you!

If you answered YES to the question of Self Development why bother?, the next blog will have the HOW of this subject, some powerful tips on what you can do from where you are, to make a start and start making a difference!

The Entrepreneur’s Credo

I do not choose to be a common man,

It is my right to be uncommon … if I can,

I seek opportunity … not security.

I do not wish to be a kept citizen.

Humbled and dulled by having the

State look after me.

I want to take the calculated risk;

To dream and to build.

To fail and to succeed.

I refuse to barter incentive for a dole;

I prefer the challenges of life

To the guaranteed existence;

The thrill of fulfillment

To the stale calm of Utopia.

I will not trade freedom for beneficence

Nor my dignity for a handout

I will never cower before any master

Nor bend to any threat.

It is my heritage to stand erect.

Proud and unafraid;

To think and act for myself,

To enjoy the benefit of my creations

And to face the world boldly and say:

This, with God’s help, I have done

All this is what it means

To be an Entrepreneur.

― Thomas Paine, Common Sense

If you feel this blog has value to you, maybe it has value to others! Please share and reblog it. Who knows who might find a reason in here to make changes in their life too! After all, that’s what friends are for…!

If “The Entrepreneurs Credo” has inspired you to make a start on your Self Development Journey, CLICK HERE to begin, now!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

See you there!

Challenges of Chronic Illness

Living with the challenges of Chronic Illness

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James A. Baldwin

If you are living with the challenges of Chronic Illness, you already know that you face challenges that most other people take for granted. You are living with challenges that other people wouldn’t or couldn’t put up with – until one day they may be struck down with it too! And that’s the kicker – so many people don’t realise what you are going through, and for many of those that do, you sometimes wish they didn’t!

Chronic Illness symptoms,
Courtesy of http://menalive.com

Do you miss the life you had before it was changed by your condition? Most people do. Although there are those who proclaim that their illness was “the best thing that ever happened” because of the changes it forced in their lives. And that may be so. However, that’s hard to understand unless you are living in the situation.

How many times before your diagnosis did a doctor or even a friend or family member tell you “It’s all in your mind!” Or “Just get over it!” You’d love to, but there really is a problem, it’s just that they can’t see it!

However, when life does change dramatically, and you can’t do what you used to do, there’s a level of acceptance necessary to move forward. Even if only for a time, even if in a few months or a year or two you can regain your old life, you still have to live in the present, and that’s where your present condition might be, to live with the challenges of chronic illness or chronic pain. Acceptance can be a challenge, when you know what you are missing out on.

Another of the major #challenges of chronic illness you may have is the guilt you feel, at not being able to handle everything like you once did – relying on other people might not sit well with you. If you were the sort of person who was very capable and everyone relied on you to keep their worlds working, and now they can’t, quite often they inadvertently transfer their disappointment to you and it registers with you as guilt.

Courtesy of www.wikihow.com
Feelings of guilt

Guilt can gnaw away at you, and combined with the feelings of inadequacy of the situation anyway, it’s hard to handle.

But that’s not all; there’s more to this yet!

Another of the challenges of chronic illness is that it often tears away your financial independence! You might end up on some sort of disability pension or less, because going out to work is just not possible! Even the best intentioned employer needs to know that you can at least turn up for work, and sometimes, you won’t, because you just can’t! You may have to find a new way to create some extra income for yourself, without going to work!

Medical expenses
courtesy of understandinggov.org

A fact of life with the challenges of chronic illness is that no matter what your plans are, there will be days when you wake up and realise, almost as soon as you open your eyes, that all your plans for the day are out the window – you aren’t going anywhere! It makes goalsetting, a working life or career, study and many other things, seriously difficult to plan ahead with! You need a new way of looking at goalsetting, at life, and living and just getting by.

Your relationships also take a battering until they either evolve into your new situation, or they don’t. It can be a serious challenge for a spouse or best friend to have you transform from an energetic and vital personality, to someone who perhaps needs a carer, and perhaps that carer has to be them!

The person and/or friends who loved you as that independent person before now have to change the way they relate to you. They have to learn that when you are upset, grumpy, frustrated with life and the world in general, even if you are snapping at them, it’s not them you are angry with! It’s your new situation you are angry with, and they are simply within the blast range while you are upset with the world!

Friendships will be tested by the challenges of chronic illness and those strong enough to survive this transition period will be incredible relationships. Those that did not survive would have failed the next friendship test anyway – something that wasn’t related to you would have caused the relationship to break down, independent of you. It’s not something to feel guilty over; it’s something to feel good about, in a crazy way – your real friends, the people who truly care about you are still here! The fair weather friends will not be!

How do you manage living and life as a person with the challenges of Chronic Illness?

If this is you, there is a way forward, but you may need to take another look at the way you manage your life. Structurally, practically you may have a routine sorted out, where you get through each day without too much drama. However, is it really living?

The way forward! Courtesy of www.surfcoasttimes.com.au

If there was a better way, that took just a few minutes a day, morning and evening, would you consider it? Because that’s what it takes.

It’s about the way you prepare your day and days for what is ahead of you. It’s about allowing yourself and even setting yourself up to have little wins, and then celebrating them. It’s about finding things to be grateful for, no matter how small. It’s about setting goals that build into a life you desire, brick by brick, small, manageable goals, flexible enough for you to manage, numerous enough to build your dreams with.

It’s about creating a framework, a supportive environment around you and within you, independent of any illness or pain you suffer, where you create a team of people to build your life with. It’s about becoming totally aware of everything in your life, and using your awareness to create something new. It’s about creating habits that automatically help you choose the success path, in whatever you do.

If you think this is too much, too crazy, too far from what you believe is possible, then perhaps that is true for you, now. That doesn’t make it the truth though……

If, on the other hand, you have had enough of banging your head against a wall for so long that the bricks are soft, then perhaps it’s time to look at another way to live. Start building that new environment around you, and start looking at life differently. Stop letting the challenges of chronic illness dictate how your life runs; take a look from a different perspective.

No, it might not stop the pain. It might not cure the illness. It might just make it less important in your life; it might take it from centre stage to just being an annoyance that creeps in from time to time… And it might just give you a life again!

Life Change 90 – take a look. In the next 90 days, your life can change! Make that the next of your challenges of chronic illness – change your life into what you want in the next 90 days!

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” William Arthur Ward

If you are a person suffering the challenges of chronic illness, or know someone who is, please share this with them, or reblog it, so that others can learn from it. Chronic Illness is a challenge within my own family and we understand this issue at a very personal level.

We would love to think that others could benefit from our experiences and perhaps gain some support from what we do and what we have learnt over the last decade.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Mixed Messages with goal setting

I’m sick of these mixed messages. I’m only human. I can’t read your mind. Unknown Quote.

What on earth is a Mixed Message?

You know how people say “I want to be/do/have ‘that'”, and then you see them doing things that are absolutely contrary to “that” outcome?

What do you think it would be like as a neuron in their mind?

Torn in totally different directions, the subconscious mind tries to do what the person wants but with diametrically opposed instructions, only chaos and frustration can result!

Are we all guilty of sending Mixed Messages?

At times, for sure. There have been times when my mind has been made up to pursue a certain direction, a goal, a challenge, and I found myself doing things totally differently, and things that would certainly prevent me achieving the goal I just set! Why is this?

We run programs in our minds. We are preprogrammed to a degree, just like that laptop you bought. It was either a Mac or Windows operational platform. It has to operate on one of those platforms, because that’s all there is. A Mac cannot decide to run Microsoft Windows, it would need massive programming changes to be made for that to happen, and all you’d have left is the case, if it would fit!

Severely conflicted messages in action!
Courtesy of grapevine.is

The same with us. We can think and process new ideas but sometimes, the old ideas are the program that is actually driving us around in daily life. To change the outcomes, we need to change the program. Sometimes we set goals that are opposed and cancel each other out! This so often happens with relationship goals and is a constant challenge for families. Competition for time especially is a huge factor for consideration – there are only 24 hours in a day and sometimes the goals we set demand more than 24 hours to achieve them – and someone misses out!

The mixed messages run both ways, internally and externally. To the outside world, they might see a flashy, even flamboyant figure, driving a sports car, the total appearance of success, but his creditors might tell you differently. What he says might be different to what he does.

Internally, he might be saying to himself “OK, success this time, one more deal and we are sorted out again!” But then he picks up the phone, or gets on the computer and wastes the afternoon and suddenly, the opportunity for that deal has passed.

Chaos and confusion. Sending mixed messages everywhere. It happens in relationships, in business, in families and everywhere else we are working. The trouble with it is that while ever we send mixed messages to ourselves and the rest of the world, we are paddling upstream in a strong current, as far as success goes, with achieving our goals!

Just imagine twenty people in your team and your bus is bogged in the sand. You tell ten people to push on the front, and ten to push on the back of the bus. Their efforts cancel each other out. Lots of effort and energy expended, but no progress. The bus is still bogged. Mixed messages in where the effort needs to go.

Bogged Bus, not going anywhere fast!
Courtesy of www.camping.de

If you tell 5 of those people in front of the bus to come to the back, you now have 15 pushing the bus forward, and only 5 trying to push it back. The bus may move but there’s a lot of swearing and frustration between the two groups.

So the last 5 in front of the bus come to the back of the bus and start pushing, and you now have all twenty people pushing in the same direction! Viola! Success, the bus is quickly out of the bog, and you are powering along the road again in no time at all.

This is what is going on inside our minds when we send mixed messages – until they are congruent with our intended direction, we get frustration and angst and not a lot of progress!

What to do about Mixed Messages.

Perhaps the best way to ensure this congruency in goalsetting is through a structured program that systematically:

creates awareness of your goalsetting plans, issues and other limitations
teaches you how to correct, improve and align them
eliminates limiting fears, phobias and beliefs
Aligned goals
courtesy of www.stimulbrain.com
teaches you to set appropriate and aligned goals in all areas of your life and then how to achieve them
consolidates your new awareness and better habits into unconscious success behaviours
ensures your financial situation supports your new goals
and gives you to tools to maintain the success you achieve for life.

Life Change 90 is such a program. It is a powerful, 90 day program with a few minutes of morning and evening activities that firstly set up your day with awareness of and habits for success, then reviews and consolidates your successes each evening.

Over three months you achieve heightened awareness of any issues and limitations facing you and standing in your way of achieving your goals. You become aware of goals that are not aligned or supporting each other. You learn strategies, solutions and antidotes to those issues, and replace them with habits of success that become part of your subconscious programming. This programming automatically sets you up for success. Being embedded subconsciously as success habits gives you a lifelong program of continued consolidation of your successes.

For more information in the value of systems in changing your life around, this blog post could help.

How much does it cost?

Depending on your currency, it could be as little as the cost of two coffees a week, and it is probable that within a fortnight, your new habits will have saved you more than the total cost of the 90 day program and that money will be in your bank account or wallet!

To learn more about Life Change 90 and how to integrate this program into your life, click the logo below.

To enrol in this program, click here now!

If you feel this post has value, please share it with your friends, or reblog it for others. Everyone deserves a change to make a change for the better! This might be that chance!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

TESTIMONIALS!

Client Testimonial:

As far as a bloke who has done it all and more Ray offers a vast array of business intelligence that you would be hard pressed to find a better and or more knowledgeable Gent.

Ray offers & teaches skills that will set you up to march to a win along many different paths in life - be them personal, financial, spiritual, and more.

You will never see Ray quit on a matter - when he "stresses" it's like a Swan paddling on a sunny day .. With Ray, when one door is shutting or shut another will open he assures - stay calm and keep your vision and the next door will open as it has for myself and even for him.

If you are looking for a solid, well educated, experienced & a neutral minded consultant or a mentor ( if you will & wish ) to offer solid advise, guidance, push, promote and stand by you ...RAY IS YOUR MAN!

Ray will NOT tell you what you want to hear - yet WHAT YOU NEED TO HEAR - and this is a breath of fresh air this day and age of consultants who are too scared to call it what it really is for fear of offending or hurting you. With Ray, its respectful in delivery and its WHITE or BLACK - as for Grey, its not in his vocabulary!

Mark Thomas - Seminar and Coaching Client