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Empowerment for Men

#Empowerment for men

Strength and gentleness
Image from epicanthic.blogspot.com

As we look ahead into the next century, our leaders will be those who empower others. — Bill Gates

Empowerment for Men

There is a subtle distinction between commanding respect and loyalty, and demanding it.  The actions and words may be exactly the same; the distinction lies in the heart of the one desiring it.

#Empowerment for men

King Richard the Lionheart
Image from www.themiddleages.net

Throughout history, great leaders have been loved and their legacy lives on down the ages, with fond memories of them and their deeds.  They commanded the respect and loyalty of troops, nations, families and congregations.

Throughout history also, dictators have commanded great armies and nations but are reviled and their memories and legacies are of hate and revulsion.  Idi Amin, Hitler and many more whose names you will know.  These dictators are not limited to presidents, they occur in families also and the hate and revulsion felt for them is the same except that at this level, it is very, very personal.

So what is the distinction?

Empowerment for men is about the place us guys come from when we face the world.

If we feel the need to bully to get what we want, what we are really saying is “I’m not feeling confident or secure so I need to take what I want from people less powerful or able to defend themselves than me”.  This feeling of insecurity is the root cause of most of the bullying and dictatorial behaviour on the planet.

What is the option?

#Empowerment for men

The Butcher of Africa – Idi AMin
Image from www.barnesandnoble.com

True #empowerment for men comes from a place of humility and service orientation, where we ask the world “How can I be of service?  How can I make this a better place?  What can I offer?”  Oddly enough, people rarely take advantage of a man who is strong and humble enough to ask these questions.  Instead, his open-mindedness and leadership is recognised.  People flock to him for his leadership, his strength and guidance.  Whether in a family, a congregation or a nation’s armies or parliament, leadership and strength combined with genuine humility is recognised, loved and admired.

When these two men pass, the dictator is reviled and the leader revered.  Empowerment for men is the distinction.  Guys, remember this – your legacy is already under construction.  People are already making judgements on how you will be remembered.  Think about it; if you don’t like the legacy they believe you will leave, it’s time to start over.

And yes, it can be done.  Empowerment for men is not an event.  Empowerment for men is a way of life, if it is to mean anything at all.

Empowerment for men is not an accident.  It is a state of being that is chosen as a way of life.  Sometimes the choices are unconscious, based purely on the conscience instilled in us by our upbringing – whether good or bad.

Many great leaders had miserable, poverty stricken and abusive childhoods, yet they rose to prominence despite, or was it because of their poor start?  When one is so low that there is nothing left to lose, many have thrown down the gauntlet and aimed for the top – knowing any progress at all is a step off the bottom rung of the ladder.  Look at the likes of Cardinal Jaime Sin of the Philippines, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the recently deceased Nelson Mandela of South Africa.  These men grew up through an era of incredible racial hatred and vilification in nations divided by race – between different warring tribes, by colour, between blacks, whites and other coloureds and cultures, and by wealth and poverty levels.  It is a melting pot from which you could not imagine any winners but these men shone through and created legacies that affected not only their own families and country, but the global communities as well!

#Empowerment for men

The Kennedy Brothers
Image from www.pbs.org

Some great leaders were born into the roles, such as the Kennedy brothers.  Wealth and power were their birthright.  However, it was the birthright of other men also who abused it and became monsters.  The Kennedy brothers created a legacy that has become mythical; they virtually created a royalty class in the republic of the USA.

How can the average guy, like you and me, gain empowerment for men?

It’s not hard, but it requires conscious effort if it is not already in evidence.  It requires us to be aware of these distinctions and consciously choose humility and service, it requires putting our leadership out there on offer, and it requires action to follow through.

Not all of this is going to come naturally, especially the part about it being a ‘state of mind’.  We need to stand guard at the gateways to our minds, to ensure that what we feed our minds is healthy.  We need to remind ourselves constantly, daily, that we are not here to harvest, but to plant the seeds that will become the harvest.  We do this by creating within ourselves the desire to become more, and better at being ourselves.

#Empowerment for men

Catch, Dad!
m.inmagine.com

For a father, be a better, more considerate parent, who takes time to parent his children.  This can be as simple as reading bedtime stories to your babies and toddlers, changing their diapers when they need it, cuddling them and kissing them goodnight.  As they grow, it means teaching them to play ball in the park – not because you want them to be a champion ball player, but because it’s fun for them and it teaches them to run and enjoy life and grow fit and healthy.  It gives them hand/eye coordination and a sense of achievement when they catch the ball.  When they get to school, attend the school plays, the sporting events, the parent and teacher meetings, show an interest so that when they enter their challenging teen years, you are already an important part of their life to them, and you don’t have to fight to get your message heard.  You already have their trust and love and now when they need you, they will trust you enough to come to you for guidance and help – not just cash!

For a husband, be thoughtful and considerate.  Study what it takes to be a better partner, lover, friend and

#Empowerment for men

Date night!
Image from blamebilly.com

confidante.  Earn the trust of your wife, encourage her to feel a sense of achievement in her life and be proud of her, the amazing woman who was incredible enough at some time in your life, to win your heart and accept you with all your faults.  Share the workload with her.  That doesn’t mean offering to wash the dishes and breaking them all and creating more work!  No, contribute what you do best, whatever that is, to take the load from her.  That will definitely mean diapers, taxi driving kids to sports events and sharing the discipline roles.  And be a great lover – one who takes her on date nights, surprises her with flowers and gifts, and sometimes leaves a lovely card around for her to find and show her you really do think lovely thoughts of her all through the day.

As a community member, stand up and be counted when it counts.  Wallflowers get nothing and give nothing, community leaders are in the middle and up the front, looking first to the betterment of conditions for their family, through making their community better.

Elected leaders take an oath of office, but less live it than take it.  However, genuine leaders are already living way beyond any oath that could be taken.  The oath that is sworn is the minimum expectation of the elected official – the true leader is always going the extra mile!

How will you know if you have gained this elusive ‘empowerment for men’?

You will look around you and see the evidence.  Success leaves clues, but so does failures.  Look at the faces and in the hearts of the people around you and you will know if empowerment for men has been your way.  Your people will admire, respect, love and follow you to hell and back.  It is either empowerment for men and everyone around you, or you became a dictator and have a group of “yes men” or servants – you can’t have it both ways.  The evidence will be there.  If you can’t find the evidence, just check to see if you are a wallflower, still waiting to make your contribution to the world.

On a personal level, how can you gain empowerment for men?

Empowerment for men and in fact, anyone, is best done through a structured program that puts you on a course that teaches you the self-discipline and self development necessary to change your life.  No, it’s not hard – just constant, and being human, we can forget.  We can slip up and before you know it, a month has gone by and you realise you haven’t set or checked off a goal, made an affirmation, or acknowledged a lesson from a day passing.  A simple program, a few minutes morning and evening is all it takes to reshape your thinking and feelings to empower you to make new, better and conscious decisions about your life and the people you care about.  That program could be Life Change 90.

I wrote about this recently in a post called EMPOWERMENT and it’s worth a revisit, to review the EMPOWERMENT TONE SCALE.

As you work on your daily self development program, you will see that you are continually moving your emotional and mental state up to empowerment, from where you can change your world and the world and lives of those around you. 

Worth considering.  Empowerment for men, and any guy who wants to become one!  Start your journey to becoming a more Empowered Man here, NOW!

If you feel this blog has provided empowerment for men, women and their families, please reblog it and share it with other men and families around you.  The world needs empowerment for men to lead it out of the morass of apathy, violence and destruction we seem to be plagued with.  Only empowered people will have the strength of leadership necessary to take us forward.  Perhaps you will be the one who puts this in front of such a person and makes the difference.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“The power to change your life lies in the simplest of steps.”
― Steve Maraboli

Please also refer to my related links on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Empowered by Love

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Empowerment

Empowerment

“If there was one wish I had for you, one gift I could give you, it would be empowerment.  People without empowerment act from a survival basis and must do whatever they can or need to do, just to survive.  Empowered people act from their sense of what is right and wrong, their conscience guides them.  Empowered people don’t get up in the morning wondering what they can do wrong or to hurt others; they look for ways to make the world better.  I wish for you #empowerment.”

Excerpt from Executive Mastermind Program 2001

#Empowerment

Break free to Empowerment
Image from theindianuprising.blogspot.com

The daily news shows graphic images of people living in fear, striving for survival, hungry for love, affection, even just acknowledgement.  These are people who are not empowered.

Less often we see images of people walking purposefully, striding out, or relaxed with their families, feeling confident, happy, secure.  There are two reasons for that:  Firstly, it’s not graphic news and it doesn’t sell newspapers or TV airspace time, but secondly and sadly, there are fewer people living a life of empowerment.

If empowerment was a choice, why don’t people take it?

There are probably three main reasons.

  1. Power-hungry bullies, including governments, corporations and others in positions of power and authority find it easier to govern or rule people who fear them and don’t know that they can choose a better life.
  2. Ignorance.  They have been conditioned to living in fear or survival mode for so long, it’s not part of their reality and they neither know nor understand it, nor do they believe there is anything in life for them other than what they have.
  3. Challenging life situations, where people have been born into or acquired a challenging situation such as poverty, chronic illness or accident causing a massive life and/or health change or other similar circumstances.

Let’s look at these reasons, and their contradictions.

#Empowerment

Under pressure from big brother!
from gscblog.typepad.com

Power Hungry Bullies oppressing people over whom they have a measure of control.  It is far easier to herd sheep from horseback than say, a pride of lions.  Why is that?  Because the lion is not afraid of a man on horseback!  If you are in the ‘herding people’ business, it pays you to have them frightened of you!  It’s that simple.

The ‘people herders’ are governments, large corporations (think Monsanto, Halliburton, General Dynamics, etc.), employers where there are dictatorial bosses, and even within families, a spouse might dominate their partner.  These bullies think they need to exert massive and overwhelming power to get what they want.  However, in most cases, they are coming from a level of fear and insecurity also, where their fear is that if their “subjects” become empowered, they will rise up and overthrow them!

The contradiction is that empowered people don’t really need to overthrow anyone else.  They feel confident and secure within themselves and are already in control of their lives.

#Empowerment

MONOPOLY ON FOOD SEEDS
Image from worldtruth.tv

Ignorance and conditioning.  These are the people held down by their conditioning and the bullies they ‘live under’.  Conditioning is one thing – education and positive experiences can, in time, overcome conditioning and in the right circumstances, enable empowerment.  Getting out from under a genuine bully is another – their fear of losing control can be extreme and their actions to retain control can be extreme also.

Awareness is the first step for those living under oppression.  Only once the awareness is there, the long trek out can begin.

Challenging life situations.  Let’s break these down into poverty and poor birthright, and accident and illness causing an acquired chronic situation.

Poverty in a developed country may be an income of $200 per week.  It may be as high as $500 per week, depending on the location and circumstances.  However, in some developing countries, $200 per year is a fortune, it is fabulous wealth!  Poverty is relative to the location and circumstances, but just as real in any circumstances.  Where there is education, there is a way forward.  Where there is no education, intervention is often necessary.

#Empowerment

Poverty from birthright, caste and cultural status
Image from secularpakistan.wordpress.com

Poor birthright can mean a person born into a caste, race or class situation where they are deemed to have no rights.  Many developing nations have this problem.  The crazy thing is that when a person of poor caste migrates or is relocated to another country, often this condition vanishes because that caste or class distinction is not recognised outside their own culture.  Education can be the starting point for this transition.

Chronic illness and acquired injuries forcing changed life circumstances.  An insect bite can change your life.  A momentary lapse of concentration while driving can do it too.  A sporting injury can take a person from Olympic glory to total dependency on a full-time nurse.  Life can change without warning.  There is no easy way back from this and lives can change forever.

However, empowerment does not rely on wealth, power or influence.  Empowerment is firstly, a state of mind, preceding the physical changes that can occur because of it.

#Empowerment

Nelson Mandela
www.thetruthseeker.co.uk

Look at Nelson Mandela’s example:  Imprisoned by a brutal regime for 27 years, he emerged as a man ready to be president of a nation emerging from possibly the darkest period in its history.  When he passed away recently, he was revered as a leader, an example of a man who empowered and united a nation by his example.  How could that happen?

The Empowerment Tone Scale

#Empowerment

Empowerment Emotional Tone Scale

In the EMPOWERMENT TONE SCALE image, the TONE SCALE is shown on the left of the image, with the emotions listed in ascending order beside the scores.  Empowerment is shown as an emotional state, a state of mind on the image, at the top end of the scale.

The broad blue vertical arrow shows the emotional range in which most people live.  You can verify this by walking on any street and noting how many people are smiling from the inside, happy and carefree, and how many are walking with heavy hearts and steps.

The challenge of empowerment becomes one of understanding how to raise the emotional state of a person from their state of concern to where they take an interest in the world around them, and are no longer concerned with fear or survival.  There is a simple, standard starting point.

Ask the question of yourself:  HOW CAN I….?

What this simple question does is propel your mind from wherever on the tone scale it is, up into the region of creativity, as your mind automatically tries to answer the question.  Eventually, your mind starts to live up in that area of the tone scale, as you repeatedly bounce it from down where you asked the question, to where you want it to be.

However, note that between wherever you are on the tone scale, and where you want to be, you need to traverse, and experience all the other emotions on your journey to empowerment.  If you have been living in a state of ‘covert hostility’ for example, you will need to pass through and manage anger and pain and the other emotions on your way up.

At first, it will frustrate you and anger you, but perhaps that is just part of the journey.  Along the way you will experience many emotions and soon understand that you travel up and down this emotional tone scale many times daily.  However, you will soon find that by understanding it, being conscious of it and working with it, you will learn to live in the conscious, empowered part of it.

How can you train yourself and your mind for Empowerment?

#Empowerment

A little intervention to get started!
Image from weheartit.com

Empowerment must be from within you, but intervention and education is usually needed to spark the fires of creativity and imagination alight.  Once the inspiration for and understanding of the principles of empowerment are held, it’s up to each person then to continue the empowerment journey.  A supportive environment is preferable and will speed the process.  If that is not where you live, then you need to create that through the empowerment process you use.

The most effective way is to take on a program that sets out an empowerment routine for you each day.  A routine that sees you establish small, achievable goals daily, for you to congratulate yourself on their achievement each evening.  A program that gives you an affirmation each morning to carry you through.  A program that teaches you awareness and an understanding of what really goes on in your life, your heart, mind and soul as you make your way through your day.

This all happens, regardless of whether you are aware of it.  Being aware just means you can control it and create in your life those dreams and goals and experiences you want.

It’s worth empowering yourself to do it.

In coming blogs, I will be discussing more on empowerment, on topics such as:

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for children and teens

We will refer back to this post also, because this is the foundation of empowerment, the fundamentals on which true empowerment is based and built.  Until and unless the process of empowerment described above occurs, nothing else can change!

Begin your journey to Empowerment in your own Personal Empowerment Program; Click HERE, NOW!

If you feel this blog has empowered you, please feel free to share and reblog this information to your friends, family and other people in your network.  Every person on the planet desires empowerment and every one of us deserves the opportunity for it.  Please help.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Don’t confuse poor decision-making with destiny. Own your mistakes. It’s ok; we all make them. Learn from them so they can empower you!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

Please also refer to my related posts on Empowerment:

Empowerment through Emotional Intelligence

Empowered by Love

Financial Empowerment

Empowerment for Men

Empowerment for Women

Empowerment for Teens

Empowerment for Children

Personal Empowerment

What would an empowered man do?

Mapping Your Future

Mapping Your Future

#Mapping your future

Travelling into the future!
Image from www.dailygalaxy.com

“If time travel is possible, where are the tourists from the future?”
― Stephen Hawking, A Brief History of Time

Recently, I took a midweek weekend with my wife.  We invested two days at the resort where we had our wedding reception.  We took the bridal suite (midweek rates are excellent!) and over two days, we discussed our past year, looked at what worked, what didn’t and looked at mapping our future.  Susan wrote about the first part of it in her blog on Owls and Orchids under the name of “Through the Looking Glass – Part 1” and is currently working on “Through the Looking Glass – Part 2”, of what happened at our review session.

This is all part of the Life Change 90 program, and yes, we actually live this program and everything in it; all the activities recommended in the program to make our lives better, we spend the few minutes a day required to practise them.  The annual “year in review” session and #mapping your future is one of the recommendations and it was just wonderful!

#Mapping your future

Eagle Heights Resort Hotel
Image from http://www.discovertamborine.com.au

As an aside, we held our wedding reception at this resort and when we returned, they treated us like royalty!  It was fantastic, the bridal suite and all the trimmings and at midweek rates better than a cheap motel on the strip!  But back to the blog…

Our review had us looking over last year and what worked, or didn’t work for us, and asked what we will do differently to change that.  It asked what did work, and how we can do more of that to maintain the achievements.  It also asked us to look forward; that is what this blog is about, mapping your future.

Time Travel is nothing special, really.  There are movies made about it with fantastic scenes created as visions of what is to come.  However, we travelled a year into the future and created visions of our own futures – probably better than a movie.  Watching a time travel movie is OK, as long as you pay your $15 at the door but two hours later, it’s over.  With what we did, the future we visited is real, and we are heading there now!

The three parts to time travel, and mapping your future.

Part 1 – the destination.

#Mapping your future

Back to the future? Let’s do this EVERY year!
Image from www.gdefon.com

The destination in any journey is the goal.  When mapping your future, it is actually a series of goals, sometimes linked, sometimes not.  We set a number of goals and whilst some are definitely connected and some are serial, or stepping-stones to each other, others are totally separate and stand-alone.

Our business and career goals include milestones for business achievements.  A certain level of results within 3 months, but a greater level within 6 months and an annual target to work towards.

On a personal level, we have personal health and wellbeing goals which are separate to the business goals.  However, there is a connection:  Unless we remain healthy, we can’t run the business properly.  In that respect, everything affects everything else but at first glance, those personal goals are not connected to the business goals.

We also set goals about our home.  We’d like to be living elsewhere and we have clearly set that out on our Vision Boards – in the greatest of detail.  Our vision boards have all our goals on them – a visual feast and travel guide to our future!

Part 2 – the journey.

Any journey requires planning and foresight.  Even a stroll to the corner shop for a bottle of milk requires planning – you need your wallet or purse with some money, you need shoes for the footpath, or if it’s too far to walk, fuel in the car.  When you plan a journey into next year, that requires a little more planning and forethought.

For each of the goals we set in Part 1 – the destination, we set out the action steps we needed to take to ensure we make progress to the goals.  We put timetables to these action steps and mapped out the strategies on the timetable to make sure they happen.  We know what we want; we know what we have to do; now we have to turn up on the day to do them, to achieve the result we specified.  We also know what we need to have with us on our journey to take these action steps, and what we need to be and do – this is the travel plan.

#Mapping your future

Travel plans
 Image from www.travelmuse.com

Planning a car journey requires fuel, lunch for the driver and passengers, rest stops, accommodation, money for fuel and meals and so on.  Our journey of mapping your future is very similar – a journey into the future is still just a journey!

The action steps towards the goal, the timelines and deadlines, milestones and benchmarks are all part of your journey of mapping your future.  Each time you think about a certain goal, a destination, you also think about the next steps you need to take to get there.  Just as you can’t see the road conditions over the hill, you can only clearly see a small part of the way forward.  However, you plan specifically for the close-by milestones, and more generally for the further out ones, and refine them when you get closer.  Little, successful steps forward.  There is your journey planned.

Part 3 – travelling companions.

Some journeys we take alone, some we travel in company.  It has been said that we journey through life alone and only share certain parts of it with others, for a short time.  Even within relationships there are journeys we still take alone.  However, travelling companions are an important consideration when mapping your future – which parts will you travel alone and which will you travel in company?

#Mapping your future

Your Mentors, Susan and Ray, travelling companions

I am blessed to have a wonderful life partner and travelling companion, after travelling most of my life alone.  Our midweek review session at Mount Tamborine confirmed it again; we really are in synch on the important parts of our individual journeys forward, and therefore we can share those journeys together as travelling companions.  However, if you are travelling alone, the planning process is the same.

It’s important to understand the distinction between sharing goals and travelling together.  Susan and I have individual goals and I support her totally in achieving her goals, with love and autonomy in whatever she wants to do.  Compare that to a couple where one has a goal and the other is forced to work towards it also.  No, that’s not sharing – that’s press ganging!  We travel together and share some joint goals, but always provide support and encouragement for each other’s personal, individual goals.

Celebrations when mapping your future.

Absolutely vital!  Starting tomorrow – New Years Day.  The New Year timetable kicks in and the first of the targets and milestones appear on the new calendar.  We celebrate each as they appear, reviewing our achievements (or otherwise) to consolidate success and resolve other issues to ensure success next time.

#Mapping your future

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Image from www.smh.com.au

How about you?  Did you read my “New Years Resolutions” blog a few weeks back?  Have you made your New Years Resolutions and so begun mapping your future?  What will keep you on track with all the promises and commitments you made to yourself, and your family?  What system do you have in place to ensure your progress and success?

Now is the time to nail your goals for the New Year, mapping your future is the start.  Systemizing your activities towards it is your guarantee of success so that when 2015 looms in the windscreen, you can look back and say “2014 was a great trip – what a ride!”

Start your mapping: Click here to begin your own Personal Empowerment Journey and create your future, from today!

We all have a future, the difference is that if you have been mapping your future, it’s more likely to be the one you want, rather than someone else’s idea of what your future should be.

We’ll see you there!

If you found value in this blog and feel it could be of benefit to others, please share and reblog it, so that everyone has a chance at mapping their future too.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

“Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.”
― Oprah Winfrey

Next Year

NEXT YEAR

#Next Year

Image from www.wunderground.com
A new beginning

“Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” ― Carl Bard

How was your last year?

For most people, about this time of the year, thinking about last year is pretty much the focal point of their inner reflections.

What will make next year different?

Only 2 things can or ever will make a difference in your life, its outcomes and your achievements from year to year:

#Next Year

Image From www.goodreads.com

  1. The things you read, study and take into your heart and mind
  2. The people you meet and allow to have an effect on you

(Paraphrased from Charlie Tremendous Jones)

What Charlie meant was that unless we do something different, such as allow ourselves to learn something new so we can do something new, only then can something different happen to us!  If you are riding on rails like a tram, the destination is already pre-arranged!  #Next year will be the same!

What can you do to ensure that positive change happens next year?

I have two recommendations only; two blog posts for you to read at these links, and then to act upon:

  1. Self development – why bother?
  2. Why systemize personal development?

Why bother with Self Development for Next Year?

If you didn’t like what last year brought, it’s time to make some changes.  For things to change outside, first they need to change INSIDE!  To HAVE something different, we need to BECOME something different!

Why systemize Self Development for Next Year?

Systems work!  You think you are a free spirit, but you are totally systemized in everything that works perfectly.

You eat something, it goes into your digestive system.

You think, choose to move a muscle, and it works through your nervous system.

You book a flight or a hotel room, it goes into the reservations system.

You post a letter, it goes into the postal system… Hey, not EVERY system is perfect every time, but you get the idea – systems work, because they deliver a result, pretty much every time.  If you realise you need some personal development, when you systemize it, you’ll find it works better too.  That can eliminate the ‘losing track’ or ‘forgetting to do it’ problems most people find when working on their personal development.

#Next Year

Take Action NOW!
Image from www.modularhomecoach.com

Once you have read these two blogs, don’t just sit there – take action!  Plug into a ready-made system that is waiting to help you make the changes you want in your life.  Dial them in and turn up in your life each day – the system will take care of it from there. CLICK HERE NOW TO BEGIN!

It needn’t be hard work.  After all, you were going to wake up and have a day each morning, weren’t you?  This will just make it flow better and give you something to be pleased with at the end of each day, and put a spring in your step at the start of each day.

My wish is that you DO have a much better next year.  This is how you can do it!

If you feel this has been valuable to you, please share or reblog it for others to enjoy and gain from also.  Everyone deserves the chance to make their next year better than their last!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“Failure is the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” – Henry Ford

Merry Christmas Wishes

Merry Christmas Wishes

#Merry Christmas Wishes

Merry Christmas Wishes to all!
Image courtesy of nyse-trade.com

“Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before! What if Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. What if Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Who will you send Merry Christmas Wishes to this year?

Christmas has changed.  Looking around the world, and down through the ages where the legends of Saint Nicholas and the various other Christmas figures began, we grew up with a romanticized view of Christmas.  For some people, Christmas meant snow.  In Australia, New Zealand and South Africa, it was intense heat.  But always, the #Merry Christmas Wishes went out to people everywhere, mostly with a picture of a guy in a Santa Suit, en route from the North Pole with Reindeer pulling a sleigh of gifts for children all over the world.

Collecting the mail at Christmas time was exciting.  Checking the mailbox to see who had sent Merry Christmas Wishes to you, seeing who had replied to your Merry Christmas Wishes to them, and perhaps a parcel arriving, wrapped with string and a little bow….  That one HAD to go under the tree, until Christmas morning…

Some homes and probably most, had Christmas Trees, the lucky ones had real trees, some had pine tree branches, others had store-bought trees, and all were decorated for the occasion.

So what happened to our Merry Christmas Wishes?

#Merry Christmas Wishes

All the Christmas Cards
bouncingoffthewalls.ca

It seems that from when life sped up, computers made sending E-Cards easier and cheaper than the escalating cost of posting Christmas Cards, and the nuclear family scattered to all corners of the globe, that somewhere along the way, Merry Christmas Wishes lost their power and attraction.

Almost.  Those who have not lost themselves in the commercialism of Christmas and who have a family to share the occasion with may still have it.  However, a new type of Christmas Celebration has evolved; that of the Christmas Orphans.  Here, you are a person or perhaps a couple alone for this wondrous day of the year, perhaps working or living away in a city remote from family, or you no longer have family.  Your personal circumstances may not allow you to share Christmas Day with your birth family, for a variety of reasons, and your Merry Christmas Wishes have nowhere to go.

Then along came the Christmas Orphans parties.  Here, people in these situations arrange their own parties, often strangers until the day, but quite often, friends afterwards.  The parties are advertised either by venues, organisations, churches or individuals who want to host the party.  Most people bring something to contribute, and it’s a great day.  For some people, literally a life saver!  Christmas alone can be a challenge for some.

But for those for whom this is Christmas and no matter how much they enjoy the Christmas Orphans parties, there is often regret, even some remorse, for the situations in their lives that has brought them to this moment, when they have no family nearby to share their Merry Christmas Wishes with.

#Merry Christmas Wishes

The First Noel?

I regret the passing of Christmas and the commercialism it has now become.  Retail stores bank on the billions of dollars spent at Christmas time to shore up their balance sheets and make their profit and loss sheets acceptable, because consumer confidence around the world in recent years has been at an all-time low.  The televisions blast their “spend big at Christmas Time” message at ever decreasing intervals during the rubbish programs broadcast by the TV stations, because this is not a TV Ratings period and they can get away with broadcasting the same “Christmas Specials” they have used for the last decade.  I don’t know how many more times I can watch “The Griswalds”, “Polar Express”, “Uncle Buck” and the obligatory “Christmas Carols in the Park” broadcasts!  Fireworks displays are in every town and village centre, sometimes in many places throughout cities and towns; the signage is out but the spirit feels low.

Yes, I regret not having the family experiences we had as children for our Christmas each year.  We all have to grow up and create our own lives, I understand that.  But I miss the old spirit of Merry Christmas Wishes I grew up with.

Christmas for me was always about sharing with my loved ones, not trying to buy their loyalty or affection.  The Christmas Spirit, if it only comes out once a year, is a lie.  If it takes an event of this magnitude for anyone to say to another “I Love You”, then they are lying too.

Is there anything about the spirit of Christmas that should NOT apply EVERY day of the year?

#Merry Christmas Wishes

Family gathering at Christmas
Image from bathknightblog.com

Yes, perhaps one thing and it is purely logistical.  Christmas is a time of everyone gathering around to celebrate, but because we all have our own lives and homes, often separated from each other and from close family, we can’t see each other every day of the year.  However, if the gift giving and all those feel-good feelings towards one another are reserved for just that one day, then perhaps the spirit of commercialisation of Christmas has won, and the Old Christmas Spirit has gone forever.

During your Christmas celebrations this year, take a step back and observe yourself.  Are you expressing things to people that you would not share with them throughout the year?  Why is that?  Why can we not share these Merry Christmas Wishes type feelings every day of the year?

Will next year be different?

#Merry Christmas Wishes

Next Year?
fun-n-first.blogspot.com

What will make 2014 a better year than 2013 was?  What have you planned that will make the difference?  Nothing yet?  It’s getting late and certainly time to think about your New Years Resolutions, including something about the true Merry Christmas Wishes, and the spirit of Christmas of old, all year through!

I wish for you that the value of your presence to those you love is much greater than the value of your presents for them, and that the greatest gifts you share are those you have shared all year!  I send you my Merry Christmas Wishes too!

If you have found value in this post, please share or reblog it to your friends too.  Everyone deserves some true Christmas Spirit at least once a year!  Click here to get yours NOW!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails, and Merry Christmas Wishes!

Ray Jamieson

“My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?”
― Bob Hope

“Christmas, children, is not a date. It is a state of mind. ”
― Mary Ellen Chase

Passion

Passion

#PASSION

Image from manifestedharmony.com

What is passion?

If you look at passion in the dictionary, you find a technical description – a deep, overwhelming emotion, or with religious connotations…  However, there is another, far more important way to understand #passion.

“The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”
― G.K. Chesterton

Passion is fuel!

When you set a goal, without the fuel for the journey the achievement of that goal requires, you will fail!  Passion provides the fuel.  No passion?  Don’t waste your time.

Passion creates commitment.

Why do we commit to something?  Commitment is a dedication to a course of action for a particular reason.  There are only two reasons, the base emotions of fear and desire.

If you are in fear for your life and running will save you, then you will run!  Fear is an incredible motivator.  However, once you are clear of the danger, most likely you will run another few metres and STOP!  However, the passion, the fear, the overwhelming desire to save your life gave you the commitment to run, to get you out of the danger.

#PASSION

Image from www.withoutwax.tv
Fear motivation!

The flip side of passion is the desire you can have.  It can be an incredible motivator and empower you to perform amazing feats, many which may have seemed impossible beforehand.  The passion of love has inspired so many stories, from Romeo and Juliet and tales of love and heroism down the centuries, to current real life stories of what people will do for love.  That is a passion that provides an undying source of energy to continue the struggle, the journey, no matter what the cost.

#PASSION

Image from mubi.com
Eros Love and Passion

There is the passion of greed.  That passion the fuels the gambling industries, a hunger for money, the willingness to gamble everything on the belief that they know which way the dice will roll.  Losing doesn’t stop them either, unless they lose it all.  Sometimes though, they are so passionate in their hunger and greed, that their addiction overwhelms common sense and reason.  They borrow to continue gambling, even though they know the odds are stacked against them.  No obstacle will shift them from their journey, they are committed.

#PASSION

Image from www.jesus-is-savior.com
Mother Theresa and friend

There is the passion for a cause.  Mother Theresa had this level of passion.  In the streets of Calcutta in India for half a century, Mother Theresa battled poverty, cultural beliefs, politicians, greed, corruption and natural disasters to feed hundreds of thousands of the Indian underprivileged and to raise them from their poverty.  Not for personal gain, but because she believed in what she was doing.

There is the passion for the feeling of success, of achievement against odds.  The feeling that only comes when incredible obstacles have been achieved.  Experiences that mountain climbers and other elite athletes are almost addicted to.  They regularly do what most people would consider foolhardy or outright suicidal, just for that feeling of success, elation, of achievement, at completing the challenge and winning.

The passion for a life, a rounded, complete and happy life, with family, friends and the security of knowing that life is good in your own little circle of friends, family, loved ones, with money, food, shelter and all the necessities and some of the luxuries that you believe makes life worthwhile.  This is where ordinary folk are to be found, going to work each week for 5 or 6 days, to earn money to pay the bills that the cost of a life such as this generates.  The rewards for their toil are the family and community they create.

There are other people who are touched by an inspirational unrest, who set higher personal goals to raise themselves from the ordinary to extraordinary levels.  These people have a passion for a particular something of their own.  Perhaps it is art – hence we find many struggling artists creating masterpieces that no-one yet appreciates.  Writers often fall into this category, so many struggling and unknown authors.  Inventors, free thinkers, entrepreneurs.  So many people are affected by this inspirational unrest.

The goals are not always critical to the survival of the person, though they complete and satisfy that person.  They feel whole because of their goal, or the journey towards it.  Perhaps it’s a study of ancestry where you dedicate hours per week searching ancient texts and documents looking for clues to your own family history.  It may be a savings goal to purchase something you really desire, a car, engagement ring, your own home, or a yacht, motorcycle or a dream to travel and explore the world.

The goal itself doesn’t matter.  What matters is your passion for it.  No passion, no drive, no commitment; no success is possible.

Passion is not a crazed race to the end. 

#PASSION

Image from scrubsmag.com
Until forever…..!

Passion can be a slow burning fuel that smoulders and provides energy from deep within for many years, as well as the passion of the honeymoon.  Young newlyweds exhibit the passion of “Eros” love, wild, romantic and fervent lust for satisfaction.  However, it’s called a honeymoon because it doesn’t last.  The passion must transmute to the “Agape” form of passionate love for it to last the distance of the vows “Until death do us part”…  And so it is with all goals.  The initial excitement gives way to a deep and powerful drive, fuelled by the passion for the goal.

If your goal bores you, it’s not a goal, it’s a chore!  If what you do excites you, it drives you and inspires you to look forward to it each and every time you are there; you have passion and a life of excitement and challenge!  With passion such as this, failure will never be an issue for you.  From time to time you will have setbacks, you will rethink your strategies but you will never consider quitting.

#PASSION

Image from www.cloudsoftwareprogram.org
Bit of an obstacle!

When working towards your goal, if an obstacle occurs and you cease striving for it, there are only a couple of reasons why you stopped.  The obstacle has little to do with it.

Firstly, you were not passionate enough.  If you had the passion, you would continue to try, to the extent you might go crazy, broke or worse in your attempts to succeed and to look for other ways to get there.

Second possible reason for failure is that you either tried to do it alone, uneducated, unresourced and/or without a plan.  You may not have known how to clarify your goal, so that you were actually setting the goal of your passion, not just a step towards it.

Goals must be clear, well-defined, tested to be certain they are what you need, then put into a structured plan for their achievement.  This process ensures you have the right goal, the resources and the passion for it.  You just need to turn up for it then with your passion, and with your plan, the goal will be yours sooner than you ever thought possible.

What if you don’t feel passion for anything?

You just haven’t discovered your passion yet.  Some people never do.  However, if you really want to live your life, not just be there when it happens, set a goal to experience enough diversity within your life to discover what you do feel passion for.  Whether that passion you discover is for another person, a cause, a craft or any of the multitudes of things people do that excites them.  There will be something – find it; feel the passion that makes life worthwhile.

If you have no other goals, no other passions, make your goal the goal to discover your passion.  In doing so, you will discover the reason, the answer to the eternal question, of why you are here!

“The saddest people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing to make it last.” ― Nicholas Sparks

If you have gained value from this post and feel others would benefit also, please share or reblog it for them.   Let’s add some more value to this world!  Passion should be available to everyone!  Get yours here NOW!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray

“Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping… waiting… and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir… open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us… guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love… the clarity of hatred… the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we’d be truly dead.”
― Joss Whedon

A Success Story

A Success Story

I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity. John D. Rockefeller
#Success Story

GOTCHA!                                   www.baldmarketing.com

Sometimes life sucks.  Sometimes, you can turn it around, massively.  This is Linda’s Success Story and how she turned her life around.

#Success Story

Lost her job!
www.thisismoney.com.au

When I met Linda, she was in her early fifties.  Her husband had just left her for a younger woman.  She had just lost her job because she was one of the 15,000 employees of the major employer in her city that had just closed down at short notice, and she arrived home to find that her rented house had been burgled.  The most prized possession stolen was her new laptop computer.

 

#Success Story

Oh no! Not burgled too?
archive.constantcontact.com

There wasn’t much else that anyone could take from Linda; broke, unemployed, burgled, abandoned by her husband and pretty upset with life.

However, Linda had already committed to working on a self development program.  It was scheduled to start just after all these disasters had happened in her life.

Linda’s Success Story was about to begin.

She arrived for the meeting and took lots of notes.  She had nothing much to go back home to, so there was nothing to lose by making a total commitment to her life change.  At the first program session, she decided as her goal, she wanted to get into a home of her own.  A pretty amazing goal when you consider her starting point.

#Success Story

Starting over again, more intelligently!
www.abcm.com.au

6 weeks later, Linda arrived for the first review session.  She had been working with other people on the program in the meantime for moral support, but as they had ‘normal lives’ and jobs and families to keep them occupied, she didn’t get anything more than that.

We asked for a “show and tell”.  After a small #success story from a couple of folks, Linda’s turn came.

“I bought my first house” she said, “and the contract settles on a second house in a fortnight!”

WOW!  We asked her how she did it and it was simple enough.  She was totally committed and decided to follow the goal setting program she had planned to the letter.  One of the program sessions was on how to buy property without a deposit, so she followed the steps exactly, twice!  It happened, each time, just as the program said it would!  Exactly as she planned in her goals!

When she told her son and daughter, both living away from her, they told her she couldn’t do it – it was impossible.  She told them she was lucky she didn’t ask them first, because by then, she had already ‘done the impossible!’

Of course, Linda was delighted with such a huge shift and change in her fortunes.  But her success story didn’t stop there.

When she applied for finance, she met a really nice guy, the mortgage broker.  Over the next six months, he became rather enamoured of this dynamic little lady, and they were married within the year.  Another plank in her success story – a new husband – infinitely more interesting than the one who abandoned her!

#Success Story

Never too late!
creativecouples.net

I had a phone call from Linda and Ron a while ago.  They were living in a home on the North Shore overlooking Sydney Harbour, with their four dogs.  They discovered they shared a love of dogs and walking the dogs daily was a treasured time for them.  They were calling to ask about purchasing a huge industrial property about 3 hours west of Sydney.  They already had 4 residential properties, each one paying for itself with the rent coming in, properties that they had purchased without a deposit according to the original plans, as well as the beautiful place they lived in on Sydney Harbour.  Now they were looking even further ahead with their success story!

A massive life change and success story after only two years!

What was Linda’s secret with her success story?  How did she do it?

First, she was totally committed.  Her life had been thoroughly cleaned out with that series of disastrous events and left her with nothing but the knowledge that she had to turn her life around – or starve!  She was totally committed!

Second, she had a plan and followed it.  At the program, much of which is now available in an online version as the “Life Change 90 program”, Linda chose her direction and set the goals she wanted to achieve.  She worked though the goals; she planned them carefully, then followed the plan.

Third, she had a supportive environment around her.  The program design with affirmations, self development, personal growth and confidence building sessions, as well as the mentors in the program, the benchmarks and nightly checking off successes, created an environment where she was congratulated either by the program benchmarks, herself with each evening’s review exercises, or the people around her; each provided moral and practical support.

That’s all she needed for her success story!  She demonstrated that all the excuses that most people put up as reasons for failure are just words!  No money, no job, no partner, no computer, these are just the excuses other people make for their failures.  Linda was a tiny lady in her fifties, with no money, no job, no close family and nothing but a good plan and determination to succeed.  And that’s all she needed!  She and Ron are living proof of it!

“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.” Shaquille Oneal

The same program Linda used in her success story, to turn her life and her fortunes around is available to everyone, and you can start on your success story anytime you choose.  Anytime you choose to not accept your excuses any more…

#Success Story

Hmmmm! What’s next?
www.beliefnet.com

What you need is a program that teaches you to set goals, provides the success strategies and habits to support the goals, and the motivation and commitment to do it!  A success story is available to you now.  It’s available to everyone now.  Get yours here!

If you have gained value from this post and feel others would benefit also, please share or reblog it for them.   Let’s add some more value to this world!  A success story should be available to everyone!

“Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.”
Dr. Brothers

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray

Associated Links: 

Commitment to your goals and yourself

The value of a structured program

The Life Change 90 Program

 

 

A Prayer for today

A prayer for today

“Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening”  Mahatma Gandhi

#A prayer for today

What a way to start the day!
lareception.wordpress.com

Prayer is the key of the morning and the bolt of the evening.

Mahatma Gandhi

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/m/mahatmagan133480.html#UY71llSRowjXlHc5.99I’m a writer.  I have always been a writer. From time to time in this blog, you will find some spiritual writings, maybe some poetry, and occasionally some Australiana, all either experienced or inspired by events in my life at some time.

I’m a writer.  I have always been a writer.  From time to time through my blogs, you will find posts on spirituality, mostly from my book “Lessons of Life”.  You will also find some poetry occasionally, and even some Australiana stories!  All these have been inspired by events or situations in my life, from where I have taken a lesson and been inspired by what happened.  There will also be many more of my regular posts on self development, lessons I have learned and taught since I began in the 1990’s, some taken from The Executive Mastermind, some developed for specific purposes or clients.

My first books came out 2 decades ago; the verse below is probably the single page of which I am most proud.  It is from the book “Lessons of Life“, a collection of spiritual stories that, when I had a question, I would let fall open and read my answer from the page.  It was uncanny how inspirational and accurate it was.

This was a period early in my time of self development and personal growth, when I was still struggling with some of the concepts of spirituality and personal growth that I now know are integrated into my life, things I have been learning, and more importantly, teaching, for the last two decades.  I wrote this verse back then, and in those days, I had a diary, a large folder from which I worked and kept my business appointments from.

This verse was in that folder and I read it aloud to myself, night and morning.  I’m glad I did.  It’s who I am now.

“There is a voice in the Universe urging us to remember our purpose for being on this great Earth. This is the voice of inspiration, which is within each and every one of us” Dr Wayne W Dyer

#A prayer for today:  A prayer for every day!

#A prayer for today

Nicely done!
www.dreamyoga.com

Today, My Perfect Day

A day that I could begin by being of service to another, to start their day also with inspiration and love.

A day when I could plan and begin projects – dreams that could take all of my tomorrows to complete.

A day I would live as though it was my last, as though there would be no tomorrow.

A day when I would play the games I play to the limit,

To laugh as hard as I can,

To love as passionately as I am able,

To work and achieve to my capacity,

yet with time to rest and relax with my loved ones

until we are full of the love we have for one another.

A day when there is time to reflect,

To consider those whose fortunes have not yet been realised, as mine have,

To pray that they may be realised – soon.

A day which closes with a Prayer of Thanks to the Great Spirit and all the guides I have,

for watching over me through this day,

and to ask them to guide me through the next,

so that again someone might say:

“I’m glad that you came by!”

© Ray Jamieson 1993

I hope you enjoyed a prayer for today.  I do believe that this verse, created during a dark period of my life from some inspiration that came from I knew not where at the time, created a solid spiritual foundation in my life.  From these foundations came all the other spiritual and teaching works that I have delivered over the years, and provided the compass by which I steered, mostly.  Only when I strayed did I find myself in trouble, and this, a prayer for today and every day, helped me back, each time.

I hope it works for you too.

If you feel “A Prayer For today” has helped you, been of value to you and could possibly help others, please share it, reblog it, tweet it and generally spread the word.  If a prayer for today helps just one other person, that makes at least two, and it’s certainly been worthwhile.

Thank you.

#A prayer for today

No matter how big your sails!
www.modelyachting.com

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

 

How to win an argument

How to win an argument

“A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still!”  Benjamin Franklin

#How to win an argument

You really want to win this argument?
Courtesy of www.theguardian.com

How to win an argument?

YOU CAN’T!

What happens when you beat someone down into agreeing with you, just for the sake of stopping the argument?

Losers don’t get mad, they get even!  That’s right; you just make enemies for the future!

So, #how to win an argument, really?

You must understand what goes on in someone’s mind while they are having an argument, or when they are angry or upset or afraid, and learn to work with it, harness their emotional state, so they can be better people and work through the issue.  Only then, do you learn how to win an argument.  And it’s not by winning the argument!

What DOES go on in someone’s mind while they are angry?

To understand this, you need to understand a little basic psychology – it will only take about a minute.

When someone is angry, fearful, upset, sad, depressed, terrified or even just bored, their mind is not in a state where rational thought is possible for them.  All they can do is react to stimuli.  That’s right, like an animal!  They are operating from the reactionary part of their mind, the old animal part, the part that was there when we were a species living in caves, frightened of the dark and sabre toothed tigers.  We HAD to react, to survive.  In effect, this part of the brain is survival territory, where the only instincts are fight, or flight!

How is this valuable, when all you want to know is how to win an argument?

#How to win an argument

blub, blub, blub…
Courtesy of www.stthomasblog.com

If you picture someone who is in one of these states, imagine that they are underwater.  You have to raise them up, so they can breathe, hear your question and respond.  Underwater, all they can do is thrash about, trying to survive.

How do you raise the mind up from those depths?

Ask it a question.  It really IS that simple.

Not any question.  “How’s the weather down there?” might not get the right response.

But if you are arguing with someone, or they want to argue with you, here’s a question that will work:

“HOW can WE sort THIS out?”

There is a VERY specific structure to this question.

An argument has two sides, both adversarial, against each other.  “You did it!”  “I did not!”  And never the twain shall meet, because they are both down in that animal survival instinct area.

But when you ask “HOW can WE sort THIS out?” you have triggered something that the mind is programmed to respond to.  The first part is WE.

#How to win an argument

WE are sorting THIS out!
Image from www.last.fm

Rather than adversarial combatants, you have just grouped yourself with them on a team of two, against THIS, the subject of the argument.  You introduced a third-party to the discussion, and put yourself on-side with them, against this third-party.  That third-party, the issue, is now a problem you work on solving, together!

And you asked a processing question, HOW.  The mind cannot process while down in those depths, so it comes up – sometimes only for a moment, but it comes up to process, into a state of mind where it IS rational, where it CAN respond intelligently, and think about a genuine answer to your question.  However fleeting, you got their mind up to where it can process.

What is THIS part of the mind?

This is where the emotions of interest, exploring, asking, and leading up to enthusiasm, happiness and bliss are found.  This is where people get enjoyment out of creating, communicating, playing, enjoying doing things.  And the lower levels of this, around interest and asking, is where you raised the level of their state of mind to by asking a question.

It may almost immediately seem to sink into the depths again.  Be encouraged that you got it to move the first time.  Try again.  Ask “WHAT can WE do to fix THIS up?”  And again:  “HOW can WE resolve THIS ISSUE?”

Their mind is now processing all those questions, the more you ask them, up to a point of course, the more they need to process them.  However, the mind can’t be in two places at once.  It can’t remain angry about THIS ISSUE while processing questions about it, and their anger will subside enough for a rational, if still heated discussion to take place.

Key point 1:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to raise the emotional tone of the person’s mind so that you can communicate with them, rather than just get reactions from them.  Do this by asking HOW, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN to get them processing.

#How to win an argument

All in this together!
Image from suvendubabu.blogspot.com

Key point 2:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to work with the other person to resolve an issue.  When you put WE into your question, you join forces with them.

Key point 3:  How to win an argument is not how to win an argument, but how to stop being the focus of their anger, and put the focus on the issue!  Play the issue, not the person.  Make the issue the protagonist, to recipient of their energy, not you.

Where to from here?

If you learn to use this language pattern in your everyday communications, you will have many fewer arguments.  #How to win an argument will no longer be an issue – this is a negotiation technique superior to anything else out there, because it prevents the argument happening!  When you find a discussion descending into those depths, your adept use of questions will quickly bring it back up and resolve the issue, whilst you maintain your relationship…

Think back – how many times would this have solved a problem, or prevented an argument for you?

To learn this way of thinking, and to create your own supportive environment around you to encourage this to become your natural language, it’s worth looking at a structured program to assist you to develop it.  Check out this blog.

Or check out the Life Changing program here.

If you know other people who want to know how to win an argument, or who you feel would find this post valuable, please reblog it or share it with them.  Let’s add some more value to this world!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

“We can not solve our problems with the same level of thinking that created them” ― Albert Einstein

Commitment Phobia

#Commitment Phobia

image from news.cision.com

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” Vince Lombardi

What is Commitment Phobia?

You know THAT GOAL you set?  Yes, that one.  How serious are you about it?  How committed are you?

Pretty serious?  Fairly committed?  Really serious?  Fair dinkum?  Really….?

OK, no more stories – give me a number.

On a scale of 1-100, how committed are you to achieving THAT GOAL?

No reasons, no stories.  Just give me the number.

Is your number 100?

Congratulations, you ARE totally committed!

Is it less than 100?  If so, why bother with that goal?

Do you have what is called Commitment Phobia?

“If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?”  Harvey Fierstein

If your car broke down on the side of the road and someone stopped and offered to help, but you said, “OK, but can I finish this carton of beer first?” what do you think their response would be?

Something like:  “Well, if you are not serious about getting home, then I see no reason to put myself out to help you!”

It’s a bit like that with goalsetting, the Universe, and the “Laws of Attraction”…

The guy kneeled beside his bed and prayed:  “Lord, please help me to win the lottery”.  He prayed for hours, night after night.

After a while, God must have become frustrated with him…  The loud voice boomed:

“At least you could help me to help you.  How about buying a ticket?”

Are you giving yourself EVERY chance to win, to succeed at your goalsetting?  Or are you asking your God, Angels, Guides or whoever you pray to, to do all the work for you?  It doesn’t work that way.  You have to at least have the ticket, to play the game and have a chance of winning!  Spectators don’t win games, only the players in the arena get to stand on the podium!

#Commitment Phobia

Let me think about this a bit more!
Courtesy of www.inspirationalexaminer.com

Commitment Phobia is a funny term.  It is often used to refer to guys who want to ‘play the field’ and not tie themselves down to any one lady.  (Trust me guys, when you get it right, commitment to THE lady is INCREDIBLE!)

However, commitment is a vital part of life, and anything less than total commitment to the task at hand can get us into a lot of trouble!

As a child, I worked with my Dad on our farm.  One day we were using a large steel rope to drag logs around.  Dad’s words were profound and powerful to me as a 9 year old.  I still find they apply every single day!  He said:

“Get a good, strong grip on that rope, like you were going to choke it!  If you don’t give it everything, it will twist out of your hands and hurt you!”

WOW!  How often has THAT happened?  The wire rope could have been that incredible person you met, who you let slip by because you didn’t call them back, or you didn’t think you were good enough….  It could be that job opportunity that went begging because you didn’t get your application in on time because of the weekend BBQ, or you were late to the interview.  Perhaps it was the great job you lost, because you got lazy in it and someone passed you by on the corporate ladder.  Ouch, every time!

How committed were you to all these things, or did you have a form of #commitment phobia standing in your way.  Did you get complacent?  Did you let self-doubt give you commitment phobia?  If it’s important enough, what would you NOT do, to succeed at something that meant everything for you?

#Commitment Phobia

Row, or stay all at sea!
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For those who believed in the inevitability of the ‘middle aged spread’ and other aging myths, who have let their bodies go a little, how serious are you about your health?  Again, give me a number, 1-100.  Anything less than 100, I have to ask, why?  You only get one chance per lifetime to have a healthy body.  Just ask those folks who have been stricken with some crazy and challenging illness that they struggle with daily, just to stay alive!  If you asked them how committed they are, with their last remaining ounce of energy they would bop you.  They don’t have commitment phobia – they cannot afford it!

Neither can you!

Commitment Phobia is a creeping disease.

You begin with a rush of enthusiasm, but it wanes after a while.  Then you begin to find excuses.  Then you realise that it no longer matters, or you tell yourself it doesn’t matter.

#Commitment Phobia

Mother and toddler – love them always.
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I worked with a guy called Michael who reached a whopping 350 pounds weight, 160 kilograms.  He changed jobs 3 times because he couldn’t physically do the work, before he had his wake-up call.  I asked him why it took severe diabetes and his doctor warning him that he was liable to drop dead at any moment, to stop and rethink his life.  He said that it just crept up on him, a few pounds at a time, and he just kept buying bigger clothes, cars and getting easier jobs until one day, a bicycle shop owner next door to his workplace smiled at him when he walked in the door.  He asked him why he smiled, and he was told that it was almost impossible for him to buy a bicycle to fit him, so what else was he looking for in there…..!  OUCH!  Off to the doctor!

He became committed.  He committed to his life, to his wife and to his toddler daughter…  Within 2 years, he was riding in triathlons, in what is called the “Clydesdales” class, the class dedicated to men over 200 pounds or 90 kilograms weight.  He has since completed a Hawaii Iron Man and has a trophy cabinet to be proud of.  And he has no commitment phobia!  He cannot afford it – diabetes is there, waiting to pounce on him any time he wavers.

#Commitment Phobia

Triathletes at work!
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Do you have commitment phobia?

Think about your goals and dreams.  Give yourself a number on them.  If it is less than 100, ask yourself seriously, why you set THAT GOAL.  If it really IS a serious goal or a critical issue for you, then there is a way to get totally committed and shake off that commitment phobia.

Find a way to be passionate about your goals!

Michael thought of his wife and baby girl, and got passionate about life again.  What will make YOU passionate about YOUR goals?  In the Life Change 90 program, you learn about finding your passion, and about redefining your goals so that you live and breathe them and you are excited to get out of bed for them each day.  It takes that sort of passion to guarantee success in achieving your goals.

New Years Resolutions usually have only an 8% success rate, and average goals get as low as 3% success, with partial success around 15%.

If it’s important to you, an 8% chance of success is not good enough.  It MUST be a total commitment, or nothing at all – put your time into something else….

Why is passion vital to overcome commitment phobia?

#Commitment Phobia

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Goethe’s famous quote on Commitment

Because if there is a solid and compelling enough reason for WHY, you WILL find a HOW to achieve that goal.  When failure is just not an option, then you will find a way.

Passion is a powerful driver, but it also pays to work smart, too!  Banging your head against a wall, no matter how passionate you are, will still give you a headache!  Having a success formula to plug into and a supportive environment to work in while going for your dreams is a huge bonus for those with passion.  It gets the goal a lot faster too.  Get your Success Formula HERE NOW!

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans” Peter F Drucker quotes 

To overcome commitment phobia, check out these blogs, on Systemizing Personal Development and Success Habits.  Leave commitment phobia behind and make your next year your best year yet!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray

 

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