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Self Confidence

Self confidence – a function of knowing what you are doing, knowing that you are good at doing it, and knowing the task will be successful.  It’s in your own knowing that you will succeed.

“Believe you can and you’re halfway there.” ― Theodore Roosevelt
#Self Confidence

Of course I can fly!
upwithlifecoaching.com

Recently I wrote about Self Esteem; it has much in common with Self Confidence, but there are significant differences.

Self Esteem is feeling good about you.

Self Confidence is feeling good about your ability to perform in a given situation and knowing you can handle it.

I once gave a talk to a large group and a question around Self Confidence came up.  When asked how it was I could talk so easily in front of so many people, my reply caused a ripple of laughter.  I said “If you were the nursing mothers association, and I was giving a talk on breast feeding, I wouldn’t feel quite so confident!”

When you look at it, I’d have been talking on a subject I knew next to nothing about, to a group of people who were the acknowledged experts.  Both of these are key areas of potential failure – failing because I knew so little, and then being called out by people who knew so much.

Did I have a self confidence problem because I knew I’d fail if I was talking to a Nursing Mothers group?  No, not at all, because I knew I was already good at what I did when in my chosen environment.  I had a confidence benchmark, because I already knew I could speak confidently on my own topics.  It’s not my place to lecture people in their areas of specialty.

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” ― Coco Chanel, Believing in Ourselves: The Wisdom of Women

From there, we can look at how to gain self confidence.  How do you develop self confidence?

Firstly, look for what you are good at.  Doesn’t need to be a major skill set, start small, regardless of whether you are actually a master at something.  Can you tie your shoelaces?  OK.  Can you tie them in a perfectly even bow?  Great.

#Self Confidence

I can tie my shoelaces!
Image from marriagehelp.com

Look at what you have just said about yourself.  You have manual dexterity and an eye for detail.  Where else can you apply those skill sets?

This is the beauty of understanding yourself and getting a little tutoring in self development – your lessons teach you that being good in one area automatically means you are good at other things too – you don’t need to go try everything out to learn that!  You can be CONFIDENT about it, without ever doing it!

The key to self confidence: because you can do one thing well, it means you can also do other things well!  Your skills and abilities are transferable between tasks and challenges.

I hear the Nay-Sayers:  “But there are things I am hopeless at!  Can’t I feel bad about not being good at something?”

That’s your choice, but I’m not going there.  You see, there are things I’m hopeless at too.  Keep me away from a filing cabinet – you don’t want me filing for you!  Not my skillset.  I could lose every important document you ever had in quick time.  But I wouldn’t feel bad about it; because I know it’s not my thing.  I have a filing system arranged for me here, and instructions on what to do with it.  The main file I use is called, wait for it:  DATA ENTRY REQUIRED!  And not by me!  My self confidence doesn’t get dented just because I know I can’t file papers.  Other people can, so they do it.  I don’t.  It’s that simple!  I am no rocket scientist and that doesn’t concern me either.  Nor am I a botanist, although I love looking at flowers.  I just look; it’s close enough and safer for the plants.

#Self Confidence

Filing? What, me?
www.1staccessservices.co.uk

See the emerging picture?  Leave the things alone that you don’t have to do, or are not good at.  Find someone who can handle what you can’t.  But pour your heart and soul into what you can do well and feel great about it.  Another secret to self confidence, let the good feelings about what you do well, the self confidence feelings, overflow into the rest of your life!

Here is a classic example of a downward spiral in self confidence.

Billy is at work and messes up a contract.

#Self Confidence

YOU BLEW IT!
www.ehow.com

The boss bawls him out over it and the whole of the office hears it.  The people he supervises now wonder about him and he feels their eyes boring into him.  The end of the day comes and he escapes to the sanctuary of home, where he reluctantly tells his wife about his humiliation.  She is all comforting and makes him a nice dinner, then they put the kids to bed and she says “Come to bed and make love with me….!”

Up to that point, he was starting to recover, but now, he has to perform again and his mind suddenly goes back to the session with the boss, and he has already been humiliated once today, over his work performance!  He pours himself another drink and decides to watch TV instead.  One humiliation a day is enough for our Billy!  Bad move, Billy!

Self confidence can spiral both ways.

#Self Confidence

I GOT THE CONTRACT!
2findtrueluv.blogspot.com

Billy could have thought about all the things he was good at, and perhaps considered that his boss was also having a bad day and that was why the loud voices, rather than the regular quiet discussion over the contract.  He could have decided that one mistake doesn’t a failure make, told his wife about it and celebrated with her that he was thinking of a way to regain that contract next day.  After an evening of loving and nurturing with his wife, and a great sleep afterwards, he could go into work next day with enthusiasm and inspiration to pick up the phone and win that contract back…

The lesson from this is that our attitude and the self development environment we create around ourselves plays a huge part in our self confidence.  If we choose to be in an environment where goals are set each day, where our achievements are celebrated every day, where positive self talk is the norm, and where we review and reflect on our day every evening with a view to setting up tomorrow for success also, then an occasional flop is only going to create a great campfire story, rather than a downward spiral into depression.  Creating this type of environment is actually a choice you can make at any time.  If you choose not to surround yourself with positivity and celebrations of your successes, what ARE you choosing as your environment?

If your self confidence is important to you, then creating an environment that fosters self confidence is critical for you.

How do you create such an environment, which builds and multiplies your self confidence?

Start your Self Confidence Boost Program HERE NOW!

Check out this page on Success Habits and perhaps the recent blogs on Self Esteem and Self Development Tips.  They will show you the way to a whole new world to live in, one where you get to be King or Queen – which ever you choose!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray

New Years Resolutions

New Years Resolutions

#New Years Resolutions

What are you planning for your New years Resolutions?
Courtesy of www.health.com

“An optimist stays up until midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.” Bill Vaughan

You might think it’s strange to be writing about New Years Resolutions a month before Christmas.  However, on December 31st, at 11.59 pm, when your New Years Resolutions are about to take effect, it’s likely your mind will be on Auld Lang Syne, champagne, a clock counting backwards or looking for someone to kiss and say “Happy New Year” to!

Where it will NOT be, is on your New Years Resolutions!

There will be some folks who ask you, in the wee small hours after the stroke of midnight “Whatcha gunna do fer yer Noo Years Reso (Hiccup) lootions?” and even if you answered, they aren’t going to remember.  No, that’s no time to be talking about New Years Resolutions.

#New Years Resolutions

Darn it!
www.toonpool.com

Now is the time.  Now is when you can start to look back at the year just gone and decide whether or not you are happy with it.  If not, can you make it so you will be happy with it by the end of the year?  And if you can’t make it right by the deadline, now is the time to start planning to do it better next year.  But not just planning to do it better – the road to hell is paved with good intentions, putting a program in place that ensures it will be better!

What are New Years Resolutions?

They are goals.  Anyone who says they have never set a goal, but who has made New Years Resolutions has set goals.  They may not have achieved them, but they have set them.

There is a formula for success with goals, and it’s not a hard one to adopt.  However, the challenge is maintaining your efforts towards achieving the goal, and that’s where a bit of structure comes in handy.  There’s a blog about it HERE. The old “SMART” mnemonic is still valid when deciding on the New Years Resolutions.

S = Specific.  Exactly the condition and result you expect.

M = Measurable. You need to be able to evaluate your progress and have the progress under your control.

A = Attainable/realistic.  A stretch for you maybe, but certainly possible to achieve.

R = Relevant.  It has to be something that fits in with your life, direction, desires and makes sense in your world.

T = Timely – within a set time frame.  It has a deadline, so you cannot procrastinate with it.

This is the WHAT of New Years Resolutions; deciding what will make your new year better than the last, but HOW you achieve it is a little different and the most challenging part.  That’s where you need a program that will keep you on track. That may or may not involve other people, but it almost always involves a little self-discipline and a routine of success habits that you plug into to make sure your goals achieve the priority in your life they deserve, whilst giving you the freedom to live that only a life with a “Plan B” in place can feel like!

What has prevented you achieving your earlier New Years Resolutions?

Statistics show that only 8% of people are successful at achieving their New Years Resolutions.  49% sometimes succeed, and 24% NEVER succeed!  Why is this?  Why do so many fail?

#New Years Resolutions

The dogs viewpoint! www.thezerosbeforetheone.com

Sometimes, they were the wrong ones to begin with, set in haste over a celebratory or reflective drink, trying to fix things that were never going to work.  However, even with the right goals and New Years Resolutions, obstacles still crop up.  Financial troubles, people letting you down, availability of necessary items, resources and even time.

This all requires planning because the one thing we all know is that when you plan something, you need to plan also for it going over budget and over time – it’s called contingency planning!  You need a “Plan B” built into your program!

Things do happen to upset plans.  It can be from your own cause – such as forgetting a previous commitment, ill health, family commitments clashing and lots more.  It can be from external causes, such as the weather, your employer making an unexpected demand on your time, a promotion or other change, losing your job, a car breakdown or a disaster from someone else that drags you in, and so on.

Contingency plans are made to handle such situations.  Put simply, you need to allow for extra resources in all areas, including time, manpower, money and whatever else is specifically relevant to your New Years Resolutions.

Why do 8% of people succeed with New Years Resolutions?

People who explicitly make resolutions are 10 times more likely to attain their goals than people who don’t explicitly make resolutions.  In other words, people with a plan!  These successful people think about them in advance, write them out and set them as a goal.

Incidentally, this is about the same success rate as regular goalsetting!

Why bother with New Years Resolutions?

Because the New Year is a time of change!  A time of renewal.  A time to review and correct what hasn’t worked for you, and to take time to plan ahead and get it right!  The human evolutionary drive (Entrepreneurs Credo) is such that we are programmed to strive for better – we cannot escape it.

However, throughout the year, we are all full on busy with work and life commitments.  The end of the old year/start of the New Year is the one time of year generally when people can take a little time off to celebrate with family and friends, reflect, review their progress and restart the New Year with renewed vigour, enthusiasm and New Years Resolutions that may make the coming year better than the previous one.

#New Years Resolutions

Sydney Harbour on New Years Eve
www.redbubble.com

How do you make sure you can put your New Years Resolutions out there, and make them turn into your New Years reality?

Plug them into a program, a system that will ensure they work.  A program that provides that supportive environment around you that encourages you to focus on what is important, and protects you from distractions that would take you away from the important challenges, of being the best you that you can be, and that you and your family deserves.

Check out this blog on why you should systemize personal development if you are wondering why you need a system to plug into.

If you enjoyed this blog and value the message, please share it and reblog it.  Who knows what a difference it could make in someone else’s life! When you wish to start your New Year’s Program, start HERE!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

#New Years Resolutions

Celebrate every success!
www.thatsfit.com

© Life Change 90 2013

Self Esteem

“If you make friends with yourself you will never be alone.” ― Maxwell Maltz
#Self Esteem

Yep, that’s me!
Courtesy of www.blisstree.com

My last blog on Self Development Tips was from the Life Change 90 Blogsite.  I promised to follow on with how to create great Self Esteem and here it is, the two ways to develop Self Esteem.

Self Esteem

There are really only two ways to develop a feeling of high self esteem, unless you were born into a naturally nurturing environment, where you were brought up to feel good about yourself from early childhood.  If that is you, then congratulations – spread the goodwill, if not, these are the other two ways.

The first way to build high self esteem.

As a teenage guy, I had all the insecurities that most other teenage guys had, and I had a few more that many didn’t have!  I lived miles from town, had little social interaction outside of school, was taller than all my classmates and a lot bigger, although I was fit and strong without being overweight.  I always came top of my class right through school and was a champion athlete; I was ridiculed heaps for these – mostly by those who envied those attributes.  However, the ridicule struck, and stuck, went to the bone.

At the ripe old age of 18 years, I asked one of my mates, one of the ones who had a queue of girlfriends, why he had luck with the girls and I had none.  Wasn’t I good looking enough?

His answer, coming from the heart of the true friend he was to me, stayed with me for the next 15 years.  He said:  “You are a ruggedly handsome looking sort of guy.  Don’t worry, it will happen…..!”

In that instant, I associated ruggedly handsome with being unlucky in love, a poor communicator with women, and everything else negative that I was experiencing.  I suddenly realised how much I didn’t like being ‘ruggedly handsome’…

Life went on.  I left the family farm I grew up on and bought my own, married, had a son, divorced, lost a business, started another, became very successful at making people wealthy after rescuing them and their businesses from the stock market disaster in 1987.  Life was great, I was powering, had money, everything, but despite all this I still didn’t like me.

In 1989, I began some self development work on me.  I had to – I was a machine at work, ruthlessly despatching banks to the scrap-heap in getting better deals for my clients, hard-nosed negotiations, precision calculations, strategies, but utterly devoid of fun or interest in life and living.  I was great at what I did, but at living, I sucked badly.

In this self development program, something triggered a switch in me.  I took stock of what I had achieved, what I was doing and what I was capable of.  I looked at the amazing people around me, people who considered us to be friends, people who respected me, and it started to do things to me, in my head, stuff I had never felt before.  I was successful, I had so much credibility with the people I worked with, I mixed with globally significant figures in business and was developing a significant business profile in my own right.

I had an epiphany.  I got out of bed one morning after a period of these unsettling thoughts and emotions (what were they?) and when I looked in the mirror, it was like I looked at a different person.  I suddenly said “You’re OK!  I’m OK!”

I suddenly realised that what my dear friend said all those years ago was absolutely wrong for me.  It was just his well-meaning words at the time, trying to ease the concerns of his good mate, who wasn’t getting lucky with the girls.  That wasn’t me.  If it was back then, it certainly wasn’t now.  In that instant, I got to like me, like what I was, what I did, what I stood for and I started to feel again, starting with feeling good about me!

The epiphany came about because I had been forced, by this self development work, to start looking at and taking stock of my life and coming to realise that I was actually an OK guy, doing some great stuff!

This was the hard way to develop self esteem.  It might just as easily have gone the other way – if I didn’t like what I found in my stocktake, it might have gone very differently.

#Self Esteem

This was me – without the dress!
courtesy of pregoandtheloon.wordpress.com

But there is an easier way.

The second way to guarantee high self esteem.

In the 1960’s, a guy called Maxwell Maltz is reported to have said at the launch of one of his books, ‘confidence and self esteem is built from repeated experiences of success’.

Therefore, if you consciously place yourself in situations where you will, or are likely to have repeated experiences of success, then your self esteem and confidence will grow.  It must grow!  The trick is knowing where that place is!

The reality is that it’s not hard.  The concept of goalsetting within a self development program is what is required.  Creating an environment that nurtures and supports you, with affirmations in the environment, daily counting of successes, setting them up as little goals in the morning and checking them off each evening, checking your moods each day, learning to be aware of them and finally to anticipate and set them consciously, all of these elements build to a powerful self esteem, based on actual successes and personal growth within you.

#Self Esteem

This was REALLY me!
Courtesy of www.lifedaily.com

You can build self esteem accidentally like I did, and hope that after some time (I took 15 years!) you will realise you are OK too, and you always were.  Or you can step into a framework that does it all for you.  It’s possible.  Check out this blog on why you should systemize personal development, or even here, about why bother with personal development.

Twenty years on, much has evolved to enable you to consciously choose the outcomes that I stumbled upon, and fortunately landed in a good place.  Some folks from those times didn’t make it and unfortunately ended up well away from where they wanted to be.  As teens, we admired and envied some of our mates but now, I see that much of what we envied got those guys into serious trouble fitting into and creating a life of success.

There are better ways.  And they all require good self esteem!

If you enjoyed this blog and value the message, please share it and reblog it.  Who knows what a difference it could make in someone else’s life!  To start your new life, with a healthy dose of Self Esteem, start HERE!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails.

Ray

“You can always find the sun within yourself if you will only search.” ― Maxwell Maltz

Self Development Tips

Self Development Tips

#Self Development Tips

www.jobjasoos.com
It’s easy to break through when you know how!

Is a problem still a problem, if you don’t know you have it?

Absolutely!  Ignorance is not bliss!  Ignorance can get you killed, maimed, broke, divorced, out of work, out of luck, and out of chances!

The smart thing is to get over being ignorant of any problems you don’t even know you might have, and get some self development tips.

How do I know I have a problem?

How’s life?  Any areas you want to work better?  There you go, found some straight away!  Wasn’t hard at all.  Now, how to go about making them better.  This is where those self development tips come in!

“You Have the Power to Fulfill Your Dreams!” ― Tae Yun Kim

Why self development tips?

#Self Development Tips

petetheplumberny.com Call in the experts!

Why not just hire someone to fix the problem?  That would be good if it was a plumbing problem, where you can call in someone trained in fixing plumbing problems.  However, if the issue is closer to home, such as within YOU, then who better to look to for answers than the person who lives there with the issues?

It’s not hard to work out what the problems are, but it can be tricky working out the answers, and often, we don’t know them.  If we did, we’d probably try to or already have the problem solved with the answers.  However, the real problem is that most people don’t know how to ask for what they want!  And the super major problem with that is that they don’t realise they don’t know how to ask for what they want!

Self development tips 1:  How to ask for what you want!

This is a big issue, so we’ll devote a little time to it.  The formula here applies to everything in life, so it’s worth taking notes.  There are 5 steps in Self Development tips 1:

Step 1:  Know what you want!  Sounds simple, but how many times have you been asked, and been unable to immediately answer?  Before you start asking for anything, be really clear on what it is you want, or want help with.  Clarity leads to power, so get clarity first.  That may mean writing it out, mind mapping it or talking it over with a friend who can play devil’s advocate, but get clear on exactly what you want!

#Self Development Tips

ahboycreativemind.blogspot.com
Clarity leads to power!

Step 2:  Know who to ask!  Again, sounds simple, but why do so many people get it wrong?  Sure, the taxi driver may have a sound opinion on it, and may even be right, but is he the guy to ask?  Is your brother-in-law the guy to ask?  Possibly not.

How do you know who to ask?  Look at their results.  Look at what their profession is.  If it’s relevant to your question, see if they are getting results in it.  Look around for people who already have the answers to the question you want answered.  But before you ask, make sure you are asking someone who actually can help you!

That’s not to say that family and friends are not the right people to ask, nor should you shun the taxi driver.  Get a range of opinions and rationally sift through them, educate yourself so that you are qualified to analyse the answers and make your decisions and choices.

Step 3:  Be in exchange!  You want a pizza?  $10.00 please!  You want the answer to a life changing question or problem?  What is it worth to you?  What will someone charge you to provide it?  There needs to be an exchange of some sort.

#Self Development Tips

surangi.blogspot.com
Talk to the right people

If it was simply information, you might Google it for free.  But experience?  That comes from a mentor, someone who has been there.  That will cost a little more.  You need to be clear in advance what it is worth to you to get what you want, what you are asking for, and whether you can afford to pay for it!

A small distinction:  the exchange need not be money!  If the retired business person over the road had the answers to your business problems, they may not want money in exchange.  They may want you to talk to them, invite them into your business for their interests’ sake, give them something to think about and do.  They may be missing the activity of their business life and want an interest again, something to do….  Some mentors want a percentage share of profits; some want an hourly consulting rate.  Or they may just need the lawn mowing from time to time…!  An exchange – something that feels fair to both of you.

Step 4:  Ask as if it’s yours.  Be confident, bold, assertive.  Ask as though you already have it!

#Self Development Tips

asoterralingua.blogspot.com
CONFIDENCE!

The timid people stay home and wonder, while the successful people get out and ask, do, and get what they need from life.  That doesn’t mean you have to be aggressive.  It does mean you must have the courage and confidence to take that step forward and actually ask someone to help you.  In asking for help, the implication is also that you are humble enough to acknowledge that you need help and are also humble enough to accept it!  This is not about being rude, arrogant and pushy in your quest for what you want.  It’s about turning up, and allowing yourself the opportunity to be in the right place at the right time, to get what you need.  Rarely will it be home delivered, you will have to get off the couch to get it!

Step 5:  Ask until it is yours!  Sometimes, you ask the question and get your answer immediately.  It’s possible!  Right place, right time.  But that’s not all the time, and you might have to ask a lot of questions in a lot of different ways, to get your answers and get what you went looking for.

Some people won’t have your answer.  Some people will, but won’t give it to you, or you won’t be able to afford it.  Some people will feel threatened by you and others will be wary about you asking them trade secrets.  But then, eventually you will come across the person with the answers you need.  Eventually, you will find what you want.  But you still need to keep knocking on doors until that time comes and it may not come easily.

This was the first of your self development tips.  Apply it everywhere because it works on anything you need.  Anything.  Including the rest of the tips – it’s a bit like the padlock on the pantry door – once you get that one right, the rest is a lot easier!

Self development tips 2: Daring to dream.

#Self Development Tips

techandscience.com
It’s all in the way you see yourself!

It might seem silly to include this, but so many people have heard “NO” so often, they longer allow themselves to dare to want anything, or dream of anything better.  It’s called conditioning.  We all need to dare to dream of what could be, so that we can go looking for it!

Is a better relationship with your partner possible?  Possibly.  But you need to dare dream of it being better first, and then talking about it with them to ignite their dreams too!

Is a more satisfying career possible?  Possibly, but first, allow yourself to get clear on what would make it better and more satisfying.  Could the same position be made better with a few changes and tweaks, or do you need to start again somewhere else?

Clarity leads to power.  Allow yourself to dream.  Get clear on your dreams.  Then go looking for them, to make them happen.

 

Self development tips 3:  Have a plan.

Again, a simple but very profound point.  When you take a holiday, how much time do you put into preparation for it?  For a fortnight of holidaying, you probably put months of evenings planning into it.  But how long since you did some life planning, which includes your work life, family life AND your holidays?  So few people plan ahead for anything but events, when the whole of your life is a journey!

#Self Development Tips

easyconsult.com.au
Have a plan!

When you look at holiday planning, put it into Google, and it will come up with something like 370 MILLION results in 0.2 seconds.  You can get phone apps for holiday planning.  Holiday planning has been systemized so much that you can hardly get it wrong anymore!  You just plug into the system and your holiday is done for you.

Why not systemize your life planning?

In just the same way, you can plug into personal and self development planning which encompasses relationships, career, finances, spiritual development, dreams and goals, everything you could possibly want in life, as well as holidays, and for a few minutes a day, have it organised as well!  There is a blog worth checking on this point – see it HERE, and make Self Development Tips 3 the one which changed your life!

Think about it.  You asked the question – self development tips 1, you dared to dream – self development tips 2 and made a plan – self development tips 3 – you happened to be in the right place at the right time, this time!  Sounds like a program you’d want to be in!  Start it here now!

Self development tips – there just might be something in it!

Next time, let’s look at feeling good about being you, who you are, and what you stand for.  Let’s look at self esteem and being proud of you!

If you enjoyed this post, if you believe it has merit, please share and reblog it, send it on to your friends, and anyone else you think may benefit.  Who knows whose life you might change!  Including yours!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

“Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken…” ― Evanescence

Self Development why bother?

Self Development - why bother

stressguide101.blogspot.com
Turn your own light on!

Self Development why bother? 

“For the best return on your money, pour your purse into your head.” ― Benjamin Franklin

Have you ever wanted more?  More of anything?  For any reason?

Have you ever considered why that was?

It is human nature for people to be explorers, inventors, creators or to wish they were.  It’s a human evolutionary trait and has ensured the survival of the species so far, and enshrined man as the top species on the planet, by way of adaptation, versatility with living environments, and ability to either change to suit an environment, or change the environment to suit man.

Whilst you might not think that this affects you, it’s the same drive that makes you want to stretch just that little bit, be that little bit better, score a little higher, to want more.

As children, we wanted to impress Mummy and Daddy and how good we were at anything we did.  At school, we either strove to be the best in class or on the athletics field, or were envious of those who excelled.  We paid homage to the top athletes, the highest achievers in any competition, and if we were shown to be failures at any time, it was a time of derision, and sometimes shame for us.

This is the human evolutionary program, and it has a lot to do with the Darwinian theories.  The law of the jungle, the fittest and best survive and thrive to ensure continuity of the species.

Self Development - why bother

Law of the jungle – those most suited will survive!
www.incrediblesnaps.com

“Man is not going to wait passively for millions of years before evolution offers him a better brain.” ― Corneliu E Giurgea

So, Self Development why bother?  How does it relate to you, now?

The feelings of frustration you experience from time to time are tied in with this.  Those feelings of frustration are telling you that you are not winning, that you are not good enough to succeed at this challenge, and you need to become better.  It’s that evolutionary programming at work, pushing you to learn more, so you can be more and do more and achieve more.

That’s not to say that you are being forced into continual retraining.  It’s just a reminder to you, gently, that you need to keep up to date with your skills.

However, look at where your frustration occurs.  Does this suggest something to you?

If you are continually frustrated in a particular area of your life, let’s use relationships as an example, the frustration is urging you to develop more in that area of life.  If your relationships are difficult to begin, short-lived, painful, end badly and leave scars, you don’t really need to be told that there is probably something you have yet to learn in the relationships field.

Self Development - why bother

Sources of knowledge
collegepals.org

It’s not a call to become the guru of self development – just a call to perhaps pick up a book at the library and see if you can get some tips.

Self development why bother with growth and learning when so many people seem to get by just fine, and they seem like perfect morons to me?

That’s true too.  There are those people who appear to wander through this world, totally ignorant of everything around them and yet they seem to manage.  It’s all relative to your desired place in your world and your community.  Is THAT how you want to be perceived by the people around you?  Or would you rather some respect when you speak?

There are times in life when we decide to stretch a little, perhaps getting married, asking the question, daring to invite or allow another person into your life.  Perhaps it’s starting a business, taking your idea to the market place and asking people to trust you enough to do business with you.  Perhaps buying a house, and asking the bank to respect you enough to assist you with a home loan.

It’s times like these that you really don’t want to be seen as the village idiot.  It’s a great reason to want to try to be more than you are, to reach your potential.

But it’s not the only reason!

Self development why bother to aim even higher?

There IS so much more!  We are each born with gifts that are in some ways, unique to us.  Look at the people who come to mind when you think of greatness?

Think of great authors, perhaps Wilbur Smith, Ernest Hemingway, Mark Twain, Shakespeare, F Scott Fitzgerald, J K Rowling, Stephen King, Edgar Allen Poe and so on.

Think of great minds, and Einstein comes to mind, along with Leonardo Da Vinci, Marie Curie, Faraday, Bell, Marconi, Isaac Newton, and Edwin Hubble.

Sports people?  There are so many; First four-minute mile went to Roger Bannister in 1954 and is a perfect example.  He inspired John Landy to become the second to achieve the feat on 21st June 1954, only 6 weeks after Bannister on 6th of May, 1954.  Since then, many have achieved the feat, inspired by these achievements.  Not only did they prove it was possible, they could probably be credited with the start of sports science, the study of what the human body can possibly achieve.

That led to the development of sciences of the mind, because it was soon realised that attitude was almost as important as physical ability when it came to achievements of physical prowess.

Which brings us back to the starting point!

Self development why bother?

Because it opens new worlds up to us, for a tiny outlay of time and energy, the results and returns can be multiplied many times over.

Knowing how someone achieved something else means you can learn from their efforts, trials and mistakes, and go straight to a winning strategy.  Knowing what mental state to be in for a specific task can mean success or failure at that task – why wouldn’t you want to know that?  Knowing how to win the love, admiration and lifelong affections of someone you admire, surely that is worth stretching yourself a little to learn?  Knowing how to be the best partner, lover, breadwinner, parent or whatever it is you desire in your life, that is why we bother!

Self Development why bother?

Self Development - why bother

The world at your fingertips! healthyshouts.blogspot.com

Because we have to earn our place at the tables in this world.  We have a choice – earn that place at the table or get the crumbs left by those who did!

The great thing about self development is that not many do actually bother, making it easy pickings for the rest of us!  So many are content with the crumbs, perhaps because they have never looked up and realised where they fell from.  However, you are reading this now, so you know about the seats available at the table, and you also probably know that this could be a first step towards taking one.

There are people who will read this, perhaps in desperation and or frustration, who have some sort of physical or health challenges and who have asked the question:  Self Development why bother? and decided it wasn’t worth it.  I say to you, no, you don’t need to be a Roger Bannister, but look at what he REALLY did!  He proved that more could be had and done, and inspired millions of people to strive for me, and who ultimately went on to create better lives for themselves, and for so many others.  Who could you be an inspiration for?

Look at your frustration – we discussed it earlier.  Perhaps you still have a gift to discover, that will ease your frustration.  No, I can’t and neither can anyone else give you a shortcut to it and tell you what it is or how to do it.  That’s up to you – it’s called personal development, your own journey of self discovery.  The truth is that the longest journey most of us will ever make is the journey to discover our true potential!  If you are wondering whether it is worth it, ask yourself if you have unexplored potential yet to be shown to the world, or even to yourself.  Are you sitting on a gift that you don’t yet know about?  You can begin or continue your Self Development journey by CLICKING HERE NOW!

Self development why bother?

Because it’s worth it.  You owe at least this much to yourself and your family!  Welcome aboard!

If you wish to explore Self Development further, it’s easy to make a start.  Look at this blog for a way to put a little self development into each day, to create better results as you progress and ultimately bring out the full potential of you!

If you answered YES to the question of Self Development why bother?, the next blog will have the HOW of this subject, some powerful tips on what you can do from where you are, to make a start and start making a difference!

The Entrepreneur’s Credo

I do not choose to be a common man, 

It is my right to be uncommon … if I can, 

I seek opportunity … not security. 

I do not wish to be a kept citizen. 

Humbled and dulled by having the 

State look after me. 

I want to take the calculated risk; 

To dream and to build. 

To fail and to succeed. 

I refuse to barter incentive for a dole; 

I prefer the challenges of life 

To the guaranteed existence; 

The thrill of fulfillment 

To the stale calm of Utopia. 

I will not trade freedom for beneficence 

Nor my dignity for a handout 

I will never cower before any master 

Nor bend to any threat. 

It is my heritage to stand erect. 

Proud and unafraid; 

To think and act for myself, 

To enjoy the benefit of my creations 

And to face the world boldly and say: 

This, with God’s help, I have done 

All this is what it means 

To be an Entrepreneur.

― Thomas Paine, Common Sense

If you feel this blog has value to you, maybe it has value to others!  Please share and reblog it.  Who knows who might find a reason in here to make changes in their life too!  After all, that’s what friends are for…!

If “The Entrepreneurs Credo” has inspired you to make a start on your Self Development Journey, CLICK HERE to begin, now!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails!

Ray Jamieson

See you there!

Challenges of Chronic Illness

Living with the challenges of Chronic Illness

“Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced.” James A. Baldwin

If you are living with the challenges of Chronic Illness, you already know that you face challenges that most other people take for granted.  You are living with challenges that other people wouldn’t or couldn’t put up with – until one day they may be struck down with it too!  And that’s the kicker – so many people don’t realise what you are going through, and for many of those that do, you sometimes wish they didn’t!

#Challenges of Chronic Illness

Chronic Illness symptoms,
Courtesy of http://menalive.com

Do you miss the life you had before it was changed by your condition?  Most people do.  Although there are those who proclaim that their illness was “the best thing that ever happened” because of the changes it forced in their lives.  And that may be so.  However, that’s hard to understand unless you are living in the situation.

How many times before your diagnosis did a doctor or even a friend or family member tell you “It’s all in your mind!”  Or “Just get over it!”  You’d love to, but there really is a problem, it’s just that they can’t see it!

However, when life does change dramatically, and you can’t do what you used to do, there’s a level of acceptance necessary to move forward.  Even if only for a time, even if in a few months or a year or two you can regain your old life, you still have to live in the present, and that’s where your present condition might be, to live with the challenges of chronic illness or chronic pain.  Acceptance can be a challenge, when you know what you are missing out on.

Another of the major #challenges of chronic illness you may have is the guilt you feel, at not being able to handle everything like you once did – relying on other people might not sit well with you.  If you were the sort of person who was very capable and everyone relied on you to keep their worlds working, and now they can’t, quite often they inadvertently transfer their disappointment to you and it registers with you as guilt.

#Challenges of Chronic Illness

Courtesy of www.wikihow.com
Feelings of guilt

Guilt can gnaw away at you, and combined with the feelings of inadequacy of the situation anyway, it’s hard to handle.

But that’s not all; there’s more to this yet!

Another of the challenges of chronic illness is that it often tears away your financial independence!  You might end up on some sort of disability pension or less, because going out to work is just not possible!  Even the best intentioned employer needs to know that you can at least turn up for work, and sometimes, you won’t, because you just can’t!  You may have to find a new way to create some extra income for yourself, without going to work!

#Challenges of Chronic Illness

Medical expenses
courtesy of understandinggov.org

A fact of life with the challenges of chronic illness is that no matter what your plans are, there will be days when you wake up and realise, almost as soon as you open your eyes, that all your plans for the day are out the window – you aren’t going anywhere!  It makes goalsetting, a working life or career, study and many other things, seriously difficult to plan ahead with!  You need a new way of looking at goalsetting, at life, and living and just getting by.

Your relationships also take a battering until they either evolve into your new situation, or they don’t.  It can be a serious challenge for a spouse or best friend to have you transform from an energetic and vital personality, to someone who perhaps needs a carer, and perhaps that carer has to be them!

The person and/or friends who loved you as that independent person before now have to change the way they relate to you.  They have to learn that when you are upset, grumpy, frustrated with life and the world in general, even if you are snapping at them, it’s not them you are angry with!  It’s your new situation you are angry with, and they are simply within the blast range while you are upset with the world!

Friendships will be tested by the challenges of chronic illness and those strong enough to survive this transition period will be incredible relationships.  Those that did not survive would have failed the next friendship test anyway – something that wasn’t related to you would have caused the relationship to break down, independent of you.  It’s not something to feel guilty over; it’s something to feel good about, in a crazy way – your real friends, the people who truly care about you are still here!  The fair weather friends will not be!

How do you manage living and life as a person with the challenges of Chronic Illness?

If this is you, there is a way forward, but you may need to take another look at the way you manage your life.  Structurally, practically you may have a routine sorted out, where you get through each day without too much drama.  However, is it really living?

#Challenges of Chronic Illness

The way forward! Courtesy of www.surfcoasttimes.com.au

If there was a better way, that took just a few minutes a day, morning and evening, would you consider it?  Because that’s what it takes.

It’s about the way you prepare your day and days for what is ahead of you.  It’s about allowing yourself and even setting yourself up to have little wins, and then celebrating them.  It’s about finding things to be grateful for, no matter how small.  It’s about setting goals that build into a life you desire, brick by brick, small, manageable goals, flexible enough for you to manage, numerous enough to build your dreams with.

It’s about creating a framework, a supportive environment around you and within you, independent of any illness or pain you suffer, where you create a team of people to build your life with.  It’s about becoming totally aware of everything in your life, and using your awareness to create something new.  It’s about creating habits that automatically help you choose the success path, in whatever you do.

If you think this is too much, too crazy, too far from what you believe is possible, then perhaps that is true for you, now.  That doesn’t make it the truth though……

If, on the other hand, you have had enough of banging your head against a wall for so long that the bricks are soft, then perhaps it’s time to look at another way to live.  Start building that new environment around you, and start looking at life differently.  Stop letting the challenges of chronic illness dictate how your life runs; take a look from a different perspective.

No, it might not stop the pain.  It might not cure the illness.  It might just make it less important in your life; it might take it from centre stage to just being an annoyance that creeps in from time to time…  And it might just give you a life again!

Life Change 90 – take a look.  In the next 90 days, your life can change!  Make that the next of your challenges of chronic illness – change your life into what you want in the next 90 days!

“We can throw stones, complain about them, stumble on them, climb over them, or build with them.” William Arthur Ward

If you are a person suffering the challenges of chronic illness, or know someone who is, please share this with them, or reblog it, so that others can learn from it.  Chronic Illness is a challenge within my own family and we understand this issue at a very personal level.

We would love to think that others could benefit from our experiences and perhaps gain some support from what we do and what we have learnt over the last decade.

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

 

Mixed Messages with goal setting

I’m sick of these mixed messages. I’m only human. I can’t read your mind. Unknown Quote.

What on earth is a Mixed Message?

You know how people say “I want to be/do/have ‘that'”, and then you see them doing things that are absolutely contrary to “that” outcome?

What do you think it would be like as a neuron in their mind?

Torn in totally different directions, the subconscious mind tries to do what the person wants but with diametrically opposed instructions, only chaos and frustration can result!

Are we all guilty of sending Mixed Messages?

At times, for sure.  There have been times when my mind has been made up to pursue a certain direction, a goal, a challenge, and I found myself doing things totally differently, and things that would certainly prevent me achieving the goal I just set!  Why is this?

We run programs in our minds.  We are preprogrammed to a degree, just like that laptop you bought.  It was either a Mac or Windows operational platform.  It has to operate on one of those platforms, because that’s all there is.  A Mac cannot decide to run Microsoft Windows, it would need massive programming changes to be made for that to happen, and all you’d have left is the case, if it would fit!

#Mixed messages

Severely conflicted messages in action! 
Courtesy of grapevine.is

The same with us.  We can think and process new ideas but sometimes, the old ideas are the program that is actually driving us around in daily life.  To change the outcomes, we need to change the program.  Sometimes we set goals that are opposed and cancel each other out!  This so often happens with relationship goals and is a constant challenge for families.  Competition for time especially is a huge factor for consideration – there are only 24 hours in a day and sometimes the goals we set demand more than 24 hours to achieve them – and someone misses out!

The mixed messages run both ways, internally and externally.  To the outside world, they might see a flashy, even flamboyant figure, driving a sports car, the total appearance of success, but his creditors might tell you differently.  What he says might be different to what he does.

Internally, he might be saying to himself “OK, success this time, one more deal and we are sorted out again!” But then he picks up the phone, or gets on the computer and wastes the afternoon and suddenly, the opportunity for that deal has passed.

Chaos and confusion.  Sending mixed messages everywhere.  It happens in relationships, in business, in families and everywhere else we are working.  The trouble with it is that while ever we send mixed messages to ourselves and the rest of the world, we are paddling upstream in a strong current, as far as success goes, with achieving our goals!

Just imagine twenty people in your team and your bus is bogged in the sand.  You tell ten people to push on the front, and ten to push on the back of the bus.  Their efforts cancel each other out.  Lots of effort and energy expended, but no progress.  The bus is still bogged.  Mixed messages in where the effort needs to go.

#Mixed messages

Bogged Bus, not going anywhere fast! 
Courtesy of www.camping.de

If you tell 5 of those people in front of the bus to come to the back, you now have 15 pushing the bus forward, and only 5 trying to push it back.  The bus may move but there’s a lot of swearing and frustration between the two groups.

So the last 5 in front of the bus come to the back of the bus and start pushing, and you now have all twenty people pushing in the same direction!  Viola!  Success, the bus is quickly out of the bog, and you are powering along the road again in no time at all.

This is what is going on inside our minds when we send mixed messages – until they are congruent with our intended direction, we get frustration and angst and not a lot of progress!

What to do about Mixed Messages.

Perhaps the best way to ensure this congruency in goalsetting is through a structured program that systematically:

  • creates awareness of your goalsetting plans, issues and other limitations
  • teaches you how to correct, improve and align them
  • eliminates limiting fears, phobias and beliefs

    #Mixed messages

    Aligned goals
    courtesy of www.stimulbrain.com

  • teaches you to set appropriate and aligned goals in all areas of your life and then how to achieve them
  • consolidates your new awareness and better habits into unconscious success behaviours
  • ensures your financial situation supports your new goals
  • and gives you to tools to maintain the success you achieve for life.

Life Change 90 is such a program.  It is a powerful, 90 day program with a few minutes of morning and evening activities that firstly set up your day with awareness of and habits for success, then reviews and consolidates your successes each evening.

Over three months you achieve heightened awareness of any issues and limitations facing you and standing in your way of achieving your goals.  You become aware of goals that are not aligned or supporting each other.  You learn strategies, solutions and antidotes to those issues, and replace them with habits of success that become part of your subconscious programming.  This programming automatically sets you up for success.  Being embedded subconsciously as success habits gives you a lifelong program of continued consolidation of your successes.

For more information in the value of systems in changing your life around, this blog post could help.

How much does it cost?

Depending on your currency, it could be as little as the cost of two coffees a week, and it is probable that within a fortnight, your new habits will have saved you more than the total cost of the 90 day program and that money will be in your bank account or wallet!

To learn more about Life Change 90 and how to integrate this program into your life, click the logo below.

To enrol in this program, click here now!

If you feel this post has value, please share it with your friends, or reblog it for others.  Everyone deserves a change to make a change for the better!  This might be that chance!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

Why systemize personal development?

Why systemize personal development?

“The system has already anticipated the freedom seeking mechanism in humans.”
― Bryant McGill, Voice of Reason

Imagine for a moment that you were going into a department store.  You knew the store took up a whole city block, because it was the only building on the block.  You could see that it was ten stories high, looking up from the street.  It had a single door in from the street and the only signage was “We are open 1 hour each day”.  You look inside the door, and the store looked like everything had been dumped in from the ceiling, boxes and bags and loose items were scattered everywhere, randomly.  How daunting is this shopping experience going to be?

#Personal Development

Untidy department store
image from esterknows.com

However, over the street is another department store, with all the same items for sale.  Same size store, also ten stories high.  The difference is that this store has a wide front door, with a huge directory board right at the door, with a sign that read “OPEN 24 hours”.  Next to it stood a smiling doorman who greeted you cheerily, and asked if he could direct you to what you needed to purchase, or if he could help you decide what you needed.

#Personal Development

Amazing department store
image from victorthevampirekitty.blogspot.com

Which store would you like to shop at?

Me too – the one with the great system!

It’s a lot like life really.  We didn’t get a map of the universe of personal development when we arrived on earth.  We know somehow that it’s all out there available to us, but where do you start?  How do you know what you need?  That’s why a system is important.

There are some stages in changing your life from what it is now, to what you’d rather it was like, and the stages start very close to home.  Today, you and I are the product of everything we have done in all the years of our lives right up to this moment in time – we are the end result of all of our efforts.

How many years did it take for us to get like this?  It’s OK, only you need to know that.  But we need to realise that it’s taken a number of years to get us this way, and we will need a little time to change the programs that got us here, to get them to take us to somewhere else more desirable.  It starts in our minds.  The most amazing computer program on the planet is inside our heads and we need to slip a new disc into it, so that it creates a different personal development outcome for us.

#Personal Development

Our amazing onboard computer
image from jonlieffmd.com

The good news is that it doesn’t take long.  But it does take a little time and the old ways will cling onto you, as habits.  Some work will be necessary, but this is where the value and power of a great system kicks in!

Imagine now that each morning, you took 10 minutes to put the new disc into your onboard computer, set up your day with it, and then went about your daily business with the new personal development program running.

Imagine that in the evening, possibly after dinner and after your day is complete, except for some quality time with your loved ones, perhaps watching a moving, talking, reading or sharing some special time, image that before you settled into this beautiful space for the evening, that you took another 10 or 15 minutes and downloaded the results of your new personal development computer program from this day, and saved them into your laptop or tablet at home.

Imagine that this was all it took to change your life from what you have now, that you want to change, into what you wanted it to be, as soon as possible in the future.

Congratulations, you have just imagined working with Life Change 90!

Life Change 90 is a 90 day program, a self-development system that is designed to work with your habits and activities over 90 days, 3 months, and enable you to change your life from what it has been to what you desire.  A few minutes morning and evening to program your day and download the outcomes, showing you every day, the successes you have had in changing your life with this new systemized personal development program.

Along the way, you will discover what has been limiting you, distracting you and taking you away from what you truly desire.  It will show you better ways, and guide you around the department store of life to exactly what you need to make those life changes, and the system will lock them in place for you.

Interested? Click HERE to learn more, and start now!

Or are you still standing in front of that little door in the big, messed up department store, hoping to find something the hard way?

To learn more about Life Change 90, check the link below, and explore this website.  Ask questions in the FAQ section.  Be amazed.  That’s what life is about.

If you found this blog post to be of value, please share it with your friends and reblog it.  At some time through the life of every person, they wish for a Life Change.  This could be that change and that time.  Let’s make the world a better place!

Til next time, fair winds and full sails,

Ray Jamieson

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